Reviews from

Walk With Me.

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Never trust a liar."
From victim to survivor of abuse.

16 total reviews 
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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Hi Shirley, if the parents had less of a punishment the other one would not have been able to make the problem a big one...but siblings do betray one another at some time in their lives...very well written ...a great write...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 25-May-2014


reply by the author on 26-May-2014
    Thank you Linda.
    Your thoughtful and benerous review is appreciated
    :-) Shirley
reply by l.raven on 26-May-2014
    you are so welcome...xxoo
Comment from Tomes Johnston
Excellent
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This is a terrible look into sibling rivalry that the author has created with this piece of writing. There have been several instances of this sibling rivalry breaking out into open war and thus is a sad thing indeed.

 Comment Written 25-May-2014


reply by the author on 26-May-2014
    Thank you Tomes.
    Not all families are loving, protective units and not all family members
    Forgive and forget.
    In this case it was short-lived for they all only had each other.
    :-) Shirley
reply by Tomes Johnston on 27-May-2014
    That is very true
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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solid use of rhyming couplets
what a tragic story - how terrible that far too many children are beaten by parents instead of nurtured by them, and how terrible the effect this has on the children
Brooke

 Comment Written 25-May-2014


reply by the author on 25-May-2014
    Thank you Brooke.
    I appreciate your thoughtful and caring review.
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Shirley, I can't say enough about how beautifully this poem is really written. You've captured the essence and the tremendous degree of content and context two were your lines and words is so self-contained and self-explanatory. Your imagery displayed and conveyed even the aspects of the child spaces after being reprimanded for what they have committed. Your rhyming and rhythm was done excellently and neither of your rhymes forced, labored or strained why you rhythm float so smoothly throughout your poem which made it easy for me to read your poem so clearly. Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for others and may you have the happiest of a Memorial Day.
Alex

 Comment Written 25-May-2014


reply by the author on 25-May-2014
    Thank you Alex.
    Your continued support and generous review is much appreciated.
    :-) Shirley
reply by krys123 on 26-May-2014
    You are so sincerely welcome
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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This is a sad little tale, but I have to wonder just how often it is replayed. So true that trust is something that is quickly lost and takes forever to rebuild.

Excellent rhyming couplets in your quatrains.

 Comment Written 24-May-2014


reply by the author on 25-May-2014
    Thank you so much for a thoughtful and generous review.
    I appreciate it.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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I know this for a fact not actually done to me as I was the 'baby ' of the family. But my sister has doe it to our Mother who praise God is now gone to glory.
ONe spag in your author notes hehe. trouble for their siblingsand to save their own skin.
Image courtesy of google images

 Comment Written 24-May-2014


reply by the author on 24-May-2014
    Thanks for a generoujs review.
    I appreciate your time and comments and thanks for the spag alert.
Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
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This was a nice poem, with good rhyming and choice of words. I liked the message because too often nowadays, people deceive each other, like you said, even within families and then it is hard to fix that rift. Smooth and enjoyable read. Faye

 Comment Written 24-May-2014


reply by the author on 24-May-2014
    Thank you so much for reviewing with the understanding that not all families overflow with love. In the ones that don't it becomes self preservation at all costs.
    Small hurts can simmer to grow into permanent family rifts.
    I do appreciate your time and review.
Comment from maggieadams
Excellent
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This is way more than sibling lying...this is abuse by the mom in the highest degree. This is well rhymed and stirred my blood...I hope this did not happen, and that it is fictional.

 Comment Written 24-May-2014


reply by the author on 24-May-2014
    Thank you for a generous review.
Comment from Pullmanspb
Excellent
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One thing I liked about this poem was it didn't move in the direction I anticipated: I thought the reader was going to learn that 2 of the children had eaten something like ant or rat poison.

If I had a (small) reservation it would be the sense of permanency of the broken trust. That, if true, would feel too extreme; i.e. trust can be temporarily damaged.

Otherwise, nice poem and somewhat different subject matter.

Steven

 Comment Written 24-May-2014


reply by the author on 24-May-2014
    Thank you for a thoughtful and generous review.
Comment from donette1914
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

this is so sad and they learn from their parents first and how cruel for the one that got beaten and the other ones didn't so wrong how you look at it. outstanding

 Comment Written 24-May-2014


reply by the author on 24-May-2014
    Thank you so much foe an exceptional review.
    Your time and understanding is appreciated.