Comment from DALLAS01

Excellent

Ok.. you've got my attention. Great start to this novella. Everything comes together smoothly a we move from the introduction to the first incident, then back a bit, for the details leading up to it. A smooth transition. As always the text is enhanced by some chilling visuals.

 Comment Written 08-May-2014

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reply by the author on 09-May-2014

Thanks so much for having a look at it DALLAS. I'm very pleased to know that you liked it!

reply by DALLAS01 on 09-May-2014

:.)

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

viscous clumps -- it was a picturesque [the power in the contrast!]

This is a marvel of imagination. And well-researched. skeptical information in the Author's Notes about the Vandellia cirrhosa, I Googled it and sure enough ...

I believe I have already fanned you, but if not I shall do it right away. I want to read the remaining chapters.

 Comment Written 07-May-2014

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reply by the author on 07-May-2014

Thank you very much, Jay, I appreciate that. There was a show about the creatures, an episode of River Monsters, I believe, on just this past Monday. Hideous looking things!

Thanks again for you support, Jay. I'm very grateful to have you following along.

Comment from Twilightspire

Exceptional

Wow. What a first chapter. I love that you wrote it like it already happened, showing us the outbreak from all angles.
This is so terrifying because it is a possibility in this day and age. Science has gone way beyond our scope of morality and you did an excellent job showing us this.
I can't wait to read the other ten chapters. Novellas are a good, solid form of entertainment and this type of story could spawn several of them. Great job, my friend.
-T.J.

 Comment Written 07-May-2014

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reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Thanks, TJ, I'm grateful for such an outstanding rating and review from you concerning this story. Initially, it was to be a collaboration with another author here, but I hadn't heard anything from them in months, so I pursued it alone, since I'd already written the first couple of chapters. I love collaborating with fellow writers, working here at FanStory in the Lock & Key Workshops. To me, it forms bonds of friendship that can last a lifetime, and one can never have enough good friends, right?

reply by Twilightspire on 08-May-2014

I know exactly what you mean. When I started The House of Infinite Halls, I met a lot of very talented and creative writers that still keep in touch.
It was a great experience, so much so that I was actually considering giving a multi-author book another shot sometime in the near future. Especially now that I am between projects. I'm sending out the query letters for Dead Winter as we speak and haven't really jumped into anything else yet. I'm kicking around some ideas and planning out the second Dead Winter book, but haven't got anything concrete yet.

reply by the author on 08-May-2014

Well, I certainly wish you the best of luck and great success in all of your future endeavors, TJ. You're extremely talented, my friend, and don't allow some publisher or editor tell you any differently.

Comment from daeneam

Excellent

Tsk head shake... this is a very relevant information which I hope may people will know. It's disgusting how people use science to destroy. They are so wicked that they do not care for others, but themselves. I'll be reading more about this, my friend. I'll be including it in my discussion of unethical researches. c". Mae

 Comment Written 07-May-2014

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reply by the author on 07-May-2014

Thank you, Mae, and you're absolutely right. In these types of laboratories, the primary agenda is to create the perfect biological weapon. Life, liberty and peace, be damned. And there's a problem with that sort of thinking. It always leads to the losses of millions of innocent lives.

Comment from LoannaLois

Excellent

This five is a ten. The absolute creep factor of this is awesome. I became instantly glad I was not a man...and I wouldn't pee in your pool for sure...First, the title Chronos is perfect. The name screams it's scientific cold factor...and the ickhh factor of melting flesh tends to get the reader's attention. I don't even want to light a candle today, Dean. I will be keeping up with anticipation.

 Comment Written 07-May-2014

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reply by the author on 07-May-2014

Thanks so much for the encouraging review, L.Lois. I truly appreciate that!

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

Oh, you sneaky devil! You have tricked me into starting yet another novel (well, at least it's a novella!!) LOL
How could I possibly resist? I am itching to know what happens next (what crucial mistake condemns us all. . .). There is nothing creepier than little wiggly microscopic invaders.

You've definitely caught me with your baited hook!

 Comment Written 07-May-2014

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reply by the author on 07-May-2014

Well, then that's a good thing, Leineco, my friend. Just don't go fishing for any of those parasitic catfish when you use that hook. I heard tell those things HURT!

Thanks for the great review, my friend.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Oh, Dean,

Your imagination knows no dark bounds, friend!

That sounds like an awfully ouchy parasite to have enter one's nether regions.

One has to mind one's pees and Qs, I see!

Will be watching for the next chapter!

Pleasant screams ..

Sonali



this (bloodthirsty) creature got (its) nasty reputation for very

the terrorists(,) they would be left to their own

file studies and trusty (clipboard), motioned

 Comment Written 06-May-2014

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reply by the author on 10-May-2014

Thanks for the review, Reach, and I apologize for the late reply. Internet woes here have been driving me crazy! I can always count on you to point out what I might have missed in editing. I truly appreciate that. Boy, if I had a damn nickle...

Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

The Cronos Bug, is an interesting title well illustrated with pictures. The last putting me off spaghetti for a while. LOL.

An interesting idea and suitable for a horror story.

Good imagery and eloquently written. With that all important hook, leaving you wanting more.

I look forward to the ten further chapters.

:)mel.

 Comment Written 06-May-2014

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reply by the author on 10-May-2014

Thanks so much for giving me your opinions on the story, mel. I really appreciate it!

Comment from Ridley Williams

Excellent

Hey Dean,
This has a nice, creepy feel to it...even moist, lol. It reads smoothly, with even flow and realistic dialog. I absorbed the entire chapter without any trips or stumbles. This is a good start to a compelling story line...looking forward to the next write. Later, Bill

 Comment Written 06-May-2014

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reply by the author on 10-May-2014

Moist...I kinda' like that, Bill (LOL!)

Thanks for the excellent comments. I apologize too for the lateness of my reply. Damn internet had been acting so spotty lately!

Comment from GE Parson

Excellent

and where do you come up with such history of the horror of of....of, of I don't know word to use here.

I see now why you had that dream, you been reading too many horror stories.

I will keep up with this series, unless I start haveing
"Screaming Dreaming" nightmars".

Your Good Friend ans Brother,
Jerry

 Comment Written 06-May-2014

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reply by the author on 06-May-2014

Thanks, Jerry, and I have been doing a lot of research for my newest story, The Chronos Bug, lately. And a reader pointed out those scriptures in Revelations where God unleashes the fowl of the air to feast upon the flesh of the dead masses. So, perhaps it's a bit of both, bible prophecy and research on a truly horrible topic.