The Wayward Adventurer
Seeking fame on the seven seas.127 total reviews
Comment from JTStone
Dean
The notes take the poem from the fictional to the metaphorical. Both forms are brilliant, one has a bit more weight to it.
It's all about the words my friend. I usually look for meaning in yours.
Jimmy
reply by the author on 21-May-2016
  |
Dean
The notes take the poem from the fictional to the metaphorical. Both forms are brilliant, one has a bit more weight to it.
It's all about the words my friend. I usually look for meaning in yours.
Jimmy
Comment Written 21-May-2016
reply by the author on 21-May-2016
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A very good write, my friend. Your author notes are right on. Once writing becomes work, it must lose something. It comes from the heart and soul, not from the wallet. Thanks for sharing this, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
|
A very good write, my friend. Your author notes are right on. Once writing becomes work, it must lose something. It comes from the heart and soul, not from the wallet. Thanks for sharing this, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 20-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
-
Thanks, Debbie. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Take care.
Comment from pattipac
Your story of a sea-captain's thirst for adventure and greed, ending in devastating results, leaves an imprint on this reviewer. Your story line, and internal and ending rhyme make for a most enjoyable read. Deserving of six stars, but alas I have none to give, my friend.
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
|
Your story of a sea-captain's thirst for adventure and greed, ending in devastating results, leaves an imprint on this reviewer. Your story line, and internal and ending rhyme make for a most enjoyable read. Deserving of six stars, but alas I have none to give, my friend.
Comment Written 20-May-2016
reply by the author on 20-May-2016
-
You're time spent reading and reviewing, as well as your thoughtful comments, are reward enough for me, pattipac.
Thank you very much for reading. It's appreciated.
~Dean :)
Comment from Sis Cat
A dark, sea-going tale reminded me of a cross between Moby Dick and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. The message is about how "greed robs the mind; money can blind" and cause one to pursue disastrous dreams.
I enjoyed the musicality of your verse and your use of internal rhyme. Your poem sounds like a classic sea epic. It is a cautionary tale of hubris.
Thank you for revising this post and for sharing your well-deserved poem if the month from years ago.
 |
A dark, sea-going tale reminded me of a cross between Moby Dick and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. The message is about how "greed robs the mind; money can blind" and cause one to pursue disastrous dreams.
I enjoyed the musicality of your verse and your use of internal rhyme. Your poem sounds like a classic sea epic. It is a cautionary tale of hubris.
Thank you for revising this post and for sharing your well-deserved poem if the month from years ago.
Comment Written 19-May-2016
Comment from Aussie
Congratulations on Poem of the Month contest winner. Cheeky sod you are. Yes, we do feel lost at times; tis but a stammer in our loud singing voice. I enjoyed your poem that points the reader to think about the path adopted. We sail our own ship but He is at the tiller if we choose Him to be our captain. Thanks Dean.
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
|
Congratulations on Poem of the Month contest winner. Cheeky sod you are. Yes, we do feel lost at times; tis but a stammer in our loud singing voice. I enjoyed your poem that points the reader to think about the path adopted. We sail our own ship but He is at the tiller if we choose Him to be our captain. Thanks Dean.
Comment Written 19-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
-
Well, this was revived, Kay, so it's an old Poem of the Month winner, not a new one. I haven't had that pleasure in a while.
Thanks for reading and understanding the meaning of the poem, as always.
Take care, my friend.
~Dean :)
Comment from BOO ghost
Sailor I am, I known some boatswain mates. Other sea terms: mizzen, lugsails, and jiggers too. Old seadog you really surprised me with this one. Words do not justify how much I love this booty. (treasure) The kraken is gonna scuttle that Galley and caravans to davy Jone's Locker it appears. This poem is a beast and the motherload for any hearty ex-sailor like me. 'Har' har!' Stand aside before I run me cutlass through your gullet landlubber you are! "Aaarrgghh!' Cap'n Cook, you are the buccaneer that all seafarers fear! You plundered the sea and took the script from the jaws of a Sperm whale. This s the Moby Dick of all stories, I never seen so many words like these. I am flabbergasted beyond mortal belief. Too many bones to pick apart, almost every sentence is beyond the equator. "Shiver me to timbers!" The kraken splits me bow apart. The turqoise words justify the azure sea. I will cherish this beauty, and add her to my booty chest under lock and key. Jumping kreel and sardines! My blowhole could never swallow so much poetry. Cap'n Cook, you will see my ghostship in the Caribbean flying the jolly roger. I will take your book and case her in me--treasure chest for safe keeps Scallywag. Jeepers creepers, you stole me purse of six black pearls that I took from a sea witch. what a ? 'Arrgghh, take it ole seadog, you earned her, but you ain't seen the last of my ghostship." BOO!
|
Sailor I am, I known some boatswain mates. Other sea terms: mizzen, lugsails, and jiggers too. Old seadog you really surprised me with this one. Words do not justify how much I love this booty. (treasure) The kraken is gonna scuttle that Galley and caravans to davy Jone's Locker it appears. This poem is a beast and the motherload for any hearty ex-sailor like me. 'Har' har!' Stand aside before I run me cutlass through your gullet landlubber you are! "Aaarrgghh!' Cap'n Cook, you are the buccaneer that all seafarers fear! You plundered the sea and took the script from the jaws of a Sperm whale. This s the Moby Dick of all stories, I never seen so many words like these. I am flabbergasted beyond mortal belief. Too many bones to pick apart, almost every sentence is beyond the equator. "Shiver me to timbers!" The kraken splits me bow apart. The turqoise words justify the azure sea. I will cherish this beauty, and add her to my booty chest under lock and key. Jumping kreel and sardines! My blowhole could never swallow so much poetry. Cap'n Cook, you will see my ghostship in the Caribbean flying the jolly roger. I will take your book and case her in me--treasure chest for safe keeps Scallywag. Jeepers creepers, you stole me purse of six black pearls that I took from a sea witch. what a ? 'Arrgghh, take it ole seadog, you earned her, but you ain't seen the last of my ghostship." BOO!
Comment Written 19-May-2016
Comment from BeasPeas
Congratulations on winning poem of the month. This is a very well done poem. These are my favorite lines and they appear fairly early on in the piece, but for some reason resonate with me. I think they are just great:
"Two hundred days, in salty sprays, the weary crew kept traveling,
Now, so forlorn, due to the storm -- morale began unraveling."
I think I like them so much because it captures the humanness of the sailors and all they had to endure.
I'm happy to finally see a photo of you. Nice.
Marilyn
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
|
Congratulations on winning poem of the month. This is a very well done poem. These are my favorite lines and they appear fairly early on in the piece, but for some reason resonate with me. I think they are just great:
"Two hundred days, in salty sprays, the weary crew kept traveling,
Now, so forlorn, due to the storm -- morale began unraveling."
I think I like them so much because it captures the humanness of the sailors and all they had to endure.
I'm happy to finally see a photo of you. Nice.
Marilyn
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
-
Thanks, Marilyn.
Comment from ciliverde
Ah, you're incredible, my friend - what a wonderful cautionary tale you've revived here. Dreams cannot be compromised by greed; greed is the root of many evils.
This is great storytelling, with wonderful rhyme and meter- well-deserving the POM!
Carol
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
|
Ah, you're incredible, my friend - what a wonderful cautionary tale you've revived here. Dreams cannot be compromised by greed; greed is the root of many evils.
This is great storytelling, with wonderful rhyme and meter- well-deserving the POM!
Carol
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
Comment from justafan
What an adventure you have taken us on, Dean. This was before I joined FanStory. I am delighted you revised it :)
I love it!!
Always,
Missy
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
|
What an adventure you have taken us on, Dean. This was before I joined FanStory. I am delighted you revised it :)
I love it!!
Always,
Missy
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
-
Thanks for taking the time to read, review, and offer your feedback on this revived piece, Missy.
I appreciate your R&R, and the exceptional six star rating as always.
Take care...
~Dean
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Dean,
so glad you posted this again, I didn't get to see it the first time round.
This is so cool, I can see after two years you have still maintained your high standards.
I love the flow and content of this and the art work is so you, you are very clever.
Was this based on a true story?
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
|
Hi Dean,
so glad you posted this again, I didn't get to see it the first time round.
This is so cool, I can see after two years you have still maintained your high standards.
I love the flow and content of this and the art work is so you, you are very clever.
Was this based on a true story?
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
-
No, not a true story, Brenda. However, I did base the rhyming on the style of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge:
It is an ancient Mariner,
And he stoppeth one of three.
'By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,
Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?
The Bridegroom's doors are opened wide,
And I am next of kin;
The guests are met, the feast is set:
May'st hear the merry din.'
He holds him with his skinny hand,
'There was a ship,' quoth he.
'Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!'
Eftsoons his hand dropt he.
He holds him with his glittering eye--
The Wedding-Guest stood still,
And listens like a three years' child:
The Mariner hath his will.