Reviews from

Fool

A song lyric

24 total reviews 
Comment from Treischel
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A very soulful and lyrical song lyric. It probably fits into the category of "Blues" as it mournfully asks "Why?". The weight and pressure creates a Helen holy mood. Very well done.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely week, Ine. Thanks ever so much for the lovely .six
Comment from MoIronE13
Excellent
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Time in a bottle.
Toss it on the waves and let it drift afar.
It will return.
Again and again.
Endless and eternal
Peace be with you

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Going with a six on this. It really works as a song lyric. Here in the U.S., I could see it as a country song. You establish the narrator as someone who's regretting her decisions and is asking why? In third line, I'd leave out 'got.' The repetition would work well for a song. It shows the narrator's attitude. In next to last line, you want that to be 'wondering' not 'wonder.' This flows very well and has attitude. judi

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely week, Ine. Thanks for this lovely six. I'll check, ty
reply by judiverse on 10-Mar-2014
    Hi, ine. You're so welcome. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
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Hi Ine,

This is a very nice song lyric. I enjoyed the read very much. I wonder the same things once in a while. Thanks for sharing this.

Kat

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from Jackarrie
Excellent
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There's no time and place for everything,
time to cry,
time to dream,
there's time to wait
But there's no time to waste no

And I keep wonder why
I wonder why


I love this poem of asking the unanswered questions, ones that are mostly asked by many.

The answers are usually inside of us

Well done. Mary

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from Ronni
Excellent
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Interesting lyric, which likely reflects the same
kind of things we wonder about too, with no answers
either for all the wonderings.
Best wishes,

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Excellent
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Hi Ina - This is written with so much feeling and so much uncertainty. You are here because you are meant to be - and here you are meant to stay. You WILL have time to dream - be sure of it. Be focused on that and things will come right. Very best regards - Dorothy

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely week, Ine
Comment from michaelcahill
Excellent
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I like this. Does it have music to go with it. Seems very singable. I'd love to hear the music. There's a way to add it, but I can't figure it out. A few people here add music. Reconciled I think you know. Great piece. mikey

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely and blessed Sunday, Ine
Comment from sunnilicious
Excellent
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That poem came out well as it is expressive and lyrical. Well thought out and clearly written. So much to think about. It can be depressing. Nice work. Have a good weekend :)

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely and blessed Sunday, Ine
reply by sunnilicious on 09-Mar-2014
    Have a good day, Ine. H&K, Alicia
Comment from Sonjalee
Excellent
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Very interesting poem. I had to read it several times and I am still not sure what you are saying. I guess you are saying that you do not have time to wonder about why we are here and other mysteries of life. It is original and I like the repetition.
Let 's live and not worry about why we are here.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
    Thanks for your kind review. Have a lovely and blessed Sunday, Ine