Reviews from

senryu when in the course

Taken from the Declaration... pieces put together

10 total reviews 
Comment from Jackarrie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very clever political senryu. How many of us hold our truths, very difficult when caught in the established systems. Still we seek justice.

Well done. Mary

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

Comment from honeytree
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I really liked the art work here and the words.

Recognition and justice of all people

Within our world should be as one.

honey tree

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Dear Honeytree, Sometimes I just have to tell myself that I am so very blessed and lucky to have great people like you say such nice things....I thank you.
reply by honeytree on 09-Mar-2014
    I am glad you liked the review.
    I enjoyed reading what you wrote.

    honeytree
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The truth's that we once held self-evident, that all men were created equal and endowed with certain inalienable rights by their creator, what ever happened to those theories? Class warfare is on a scale in this country never before seen in our nations history. The "haves" vs. the "have-nots". The One-percent vs. the ninety-nine percenters. Is true justice still attainable, is has that become an antiquated theory as well? Only time will tell.

Well done. I wish you the best of luck...

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Dean, This is such an important subject to me....and I appreciate the wonderful comments.
reply by Dean Kuch on 04-Mar-2014
    You are most welcome.
Comment from rouskin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"when in the course" we the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice "when in the course" we
the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thank you for the great comments...thanks again.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

"when in the course" we Strong intro re: notes
the people don't " hold our truths" 'don't' is very powerful
still we seek justice and always will I'm afraid

Meets all strictures. An original presentation. Congrats!!

Regards:

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014

Comment from buzclick
Excellent
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The value of a poem is found in the truth it exposes for the reader.
Here the value is to remind us of our responsibility to our country.

"when in the course" we
the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice

Saying the government will fix it is a lie.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Still love this comment.....!
Comment from Righteous Riter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"when in the course" we
the people don't "hold our truths"
still we seek justice
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with still/seek. Clear message that is short and simple.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Thanks again, Righteous.
Comment from Smoothiecool
Excellent
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good luck in the contest
your words allow one to see and feel that as we don't vote what we truly believe but still seek justice
cheers smoothiecool

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
    Smoothie...you are smooth...and correct. Thank you so much for writing. I appreciate it!
reply by Smoothiecool on 02-Mar-2014
    welcome..SC
Comment from Harborvu
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh man, I like it. So true and a lot of meaning contained in just a few syllables. My only suggestion would be that despite its extreme brevity, this one might benefit from better punctuation to accentuate the solemnity of the source document.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much...my first line had a mysterious comma my psyche had produced all on it's own. Thank you for the heads-up and your kindness.
Comment from 24chas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed this piece. This was very clever and creative. The piece really said a lot in a small space. Good writing and good luck.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much.. Nice to read your comments with my coffee :0} They mean a lot.