senryu when in the course
Taken from the Declaration... pieces put together10 total reviews
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a very clever political senryu. How many of us hold our truths, very difficult when caught in the established systems. Still we seek justice.
Well done. Mary
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This is a very clever political senryu. How many of us hold our truths, very difficult when caught in the established systems. Still we seek justice.
Well done. Mary
Comment Written 04-Mar-2014
Comment from honeytree
I really liked the art work here and the words.
Recognition and justice of all people
Within our world should be as one.
honey tree
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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I really liked the art work here and the words.
Recognition and justice of all people
Within our world should be as one.
honey tree
Comment Written 03-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Dear Honeytree, Sometimes I just have to tell myself that I am so very blessed and lucky to have great people like you say such nice things....I thank you.
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I am glad you liked the review.
I enjoyed reading what you wrote.
honeytree
Comment from Dean Kuch
The truth's that we once held self-evident, that all men were created equal and endowed with certain inalienable rights by their creator, what ever happened to those theories? Class warfare is on a scale in this country never before seen in our nations history. The "haves" vs. the "have-nots". The One-percent vs. the ninety-nine percenters. Is true justice still attainable, is has that become an antiquated theory as well? Only time will tell.
Well done. I wish you the best of luck...
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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The truth's that we once held self-evident, that all men were created equal and endowed with certain inalienable rights by their creator, what ever happened to those theories? Class warfare is on a scale in this country never before seen in our nations history. The "haves" vs. the "have-nots". The One-percent vs. the ninety-nine percenters. Is true justice still attainable, is has that become an antiquated theory as well? Only time will tell.
Well done. I wish you the best of luck...
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Dean, This is such an important subject to me....and I appreciate the wonderful comments.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from rouskin
"when in the course" we the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice "when in the course" we
the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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"when in the course" we the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice "when in the course" we
the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the great comments...thanks again.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
"when in the course" we Strong intro re: notes
the people don't " hold our truths" 'don't' is very powerful
still we seek justice and always will I'm afraid
Meets all strictures. An original presentation. Congrats!!
Regards:
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"when in the course" we Strong intro re: notes
the people don't " hold our truths" 'don't' is very powerful
still we seek justice and always will I'm afraid
Meets all strictures. An original presentation. Congrats!!
Regards:
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
Comment from buzclick
The value of a poem is found in the truth it exposes for the reader.
Here the value is to remind us of our responsibility to our country.
"when in the course" we
the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice
Saying the government will fix it is a lie.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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The value of a poem is found in the truth it exposes for the reader.
Here the value is to remind us of our responsibility to our country.
"when in the course" we
the people don't " hold our truths"
still we seek justice
Saying the government will fix it is a lie.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Still love this comment.....!
Comment from Righteous Riter
"when in the course" we
the people don't "hold our truths"
still we seek justice
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with still/seek. Clear message that is short and simple.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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"when in the course" we
the people don't "hold our truths"
still we seek justice
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with still/seek. Clear message that is short and simple.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
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Thanks again, Righteous.
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your words allow one to see and feel that as we don't vote what we truly believe but still seek justice
cheers smoothiecool
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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good luck in the contest
your words allow one to see and feel that as we don't vote what we truly believe but still seek justice
cheers smoothiecool
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Smoothie...you are smooth...and correct. Thank you so much for writing. I appreciate it!
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welcome..SC
Comment from Harborvu
Oh man, I like it. So true and a lot of meaning contained in just a few syllables. My only suggestion would be that despite its extreme brevity, this one might benefit from better punctuation to accentuate the solemnity of the source document.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Oh man, I like it. So true and a lot of meaning contained in just a few syllables. My only suggestion would be that despite its extreme brevity, this one might benefit from better punctuation to accentuate the solemnity of the source document.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much...my first line had a mysterious comma my psyche had produced all on it's own. Thank you for the heads-up and your kindness.
Comment from 24chas
I enjoyed this piece. This was very clever and creative. The piece really said a lot in a small space. Good writing and good luck.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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I enjoyed this piece. This was very clever and creative. The piece really said a lot in a small space. Good writing and good luck.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much.. Nice to read your comments with my coffee :0} They mean a lot.