Senryu. Sorrow
One tear21 total reviews
Comment from zanya
A sadness for love lost pervades this Senyru - we long to know we have contributed to the life of another even if we part - complimentary pic
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A sadness for love lost pervades this Senyru - we long to know we have contributed to the life of another even if we part - complimentary pic
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
Comment from TOMORAL
One sweet tear for sorrow's sake. I love the uniqueness and sweetness of this one. Very deep and soul touching. Best of luck to you in the contest. This is a strong entry. Blessings.
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One sweet tear for sorrow's sake. I love the uniqueness and sweetness of this one. Very deep and soul touching. Best of luck to you in the contest. This is a strong entry. Blessings.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
Comment from Merriweather
Enjoyed reading your poem. Very strong in alliteration ie; save, sweet, so, will was, remember, reason. Though few in words, it is compelling in that if the reader pauses to investigate, she or he is drawn in wondering what events caused the one tear to fall. I liked it very much.
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Enjoyed reading your poem. Very strong in alliteration ie; save, sweet, so, will was, remember, reason. Though few in words, it is compelling in that if the reader pauses to investigate, she or he is drawn in wondering what events caused the one tear to fall. I liked it very much.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
Comment from dmt1967
This is a sweet five seven five poem I enjoyed reading it and it did make me smile I like the picture as well good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
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This is a sweet five seven five poem I enjoyed reading it and it did make me smile I like the picture as well good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
Comment from Mark Valentine
You certainly nailed the writing prompt. I don't know that I've ever seen seventeen syllables that can take one so deep into another person's emotional experience. That's the great thing about poetry - I don't know that all the prose in the world could capture the attitude toward past love that you just captured. We all know what it feels like, but we can't articulate it - that's what poets like you are for.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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You certainly nailed the writing prompt. I don't know that I've ever seen seventeen syllables that can take one so deep into another person's emotional experience. That's the great thing about poetry - I don't know that all the prose in the world could capture the attitude toward past love that you just captured. We all know what it feels like, but we can't articulate it - that's what poets like you are for.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2014
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In this note, you have given me another reason to keep on writing. I love the idea of trying to put emotions into those letters; then onto the surface..(.You do that, Mark.)
The 6 stars Will be popped into my heart for safe-keeping. God Bless you and yours.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
save me one sweet tear love the 's' alliteration
so that I will remember
I was the reason Poignant emding.
Well done. Meets all strictures.
Regards:
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save me one sweet tear love the 's' alliteration
so that I will remember
I was the reason Poignant emding.
Well done. Meets all strictures.
Regards:
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
Comment from Zinnia48
This made me catch my breath. You say so much in so few words (n the nature of senyu, I think). It's interesting saving the tear is so that you will remember, not the other person. Thank you and good luck with the contest. Caroline
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This made me catch my breath. You say so much in so few words (n the nature of senyu, I think). It's interesting saving the tear is so that you will remember, not the other person. Thank you and good luck with the contest. Caroline
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
Comment from emrpoems
save me one sweet tear
so that I will remember
I was the reason
Perfect senryu structure having a syllable count of 5-7-5
Good luck in the contest
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save me one sweet tear
so that I will remember
I was the reason
Perfect senryu structure having a syllable count of 5-7-5
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
Comment from allborn66
This is a very powerful poem. You communicate your theme well. The word choice paints a vivid picture. The syllable count is correct.
Barbara
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This is a very powerful poem. You communicate your theme well. The word choice paints a vivid picture. The syllable count is correct.
Barbara
Comment Written 27-Jan-2014
Comment from velvetElvis
I was totally unaware of Senryu style poetry. You packed so much impact in so few words, very powerful. Loved this: "I was the reason"
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I was totally unaware of Senryu style poetry. You packed so much impact in so few words, very powerful. Loved this: "I was the reason"
Comment Written 26-Jan-2014