Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "Live and Learn"Shorter stories
9 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Another well-deserved winner!! Live and learn! Lol! That was fabulous. How you come up with these ideas, I don't know. I really laughed at this one, he learned to late that he should be shoveling the soil in the whole and Chet should be the one lying there! Fabulous ending. Well done againg. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-May-2022
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Another well-deserved winner!! Live and learn! Lol! That was fabulous. How you come up with these ideas, I don't know. I really laughed at this one, he learned to late that he should be shoveling the soil in the whole and Chet should be the one lying there! Fabulous ending. Well done againg. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-May-2022
reply by the author on 14-May-2022
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Thank you, Sandra
Comment from GWHARGIS
I didn't get to read this when you first posted it. I like how you gave the narrator's inner thoughts. I could feel the pressure building in my lungs as you started to shovel. Nicely done and congratulations.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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I didn't get to read this when you first posted it. I like how you gave the narrator's inner thoughts. I could feel the pressure building in my lungs as you started to shovel. Nicely done and congratulations.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014
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Thank you for giving it a look.
Comment from Axiom Gray
This is excellent! For such a short story, you really captured a snapshot of what was taking place between Chet and his ex-partner. Well done, Mr. Schott!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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This is excellent! For such a short story, you really captured a snapshot of what was taking place between Chet and his ex-partner. Well done, Mr. Schott!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you, sir. Happy New Year!
Comment from Axiom Gray
This is excellent! For such a short story, you really captured a snapshot of what was taking place between Chet and his ex-partner. Well done, Mr. Schott!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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This is excellent! For such a short story, you really captured a snapshot of what was taking place between Chet and his ex-partner. Well done, Mr. Schott!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you, sir. Happy New Year!
Comment from Daedalia
This is morbidly humorous. :) I only saw one minor spag: "include me in 'loose ends' list" should probably be "include me in the 'loose ends' list". Great short story.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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This is morbidly humorous. :) I only saw one minor spag: "include me in 'loose ends' list" should probably be "include me in the 'loose ends' list". Great short story.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Oh my, now this would be a deep dark secret for sure. It backfired on the helper. The thought of smothering in a grave gives me the willies. Good luck in the prompt. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Oh my, now this would be a deep dark secret for sure. It backfired on the helper. The thought of smothering in a grave gives me the willies. Good luck in the prompt. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for reviewing this, Evelyn.
Comment from nelliesellie
No loose ends on this one. Chet ended up getting her first. He should have killed her before he buried her, It would have been more merciful. But we don't know if she would have done the same to him. Great work. Good luck with the contest,
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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No loose ends on this one. Chet ended up getting her first. He should have killed her before he buried her, It would have been more merciful. But we don't know if she would have done the same to him. Great work. Good luck with the contest,
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for reviewing this.
Comment from Giovannius
This piece was interesting, in its own way, but had a number of flaws that made it a bit difficult to follow. I found the first paragraph to be unnecessarily repetitious. It would've read far better if the author had worded it differently.
(No, I wouldn't) would've been better written without the parenthesis, as something like "I'll be missed!" Of course, realistically, I knew that nobody would actually be missing me at all, "you'll never get away with....".
This change would also serve to made the author's intent of conveying the fact that his character's words were being muffled by the dirt that Chet was covering him with.
On a merely technical note, I would've phrased the last line of the second paragraph 'Of course, it never occurred to me at the time that Chet'd probably already decided to add my name to his 'loose ends' list.'
On a minor note, the fact that the character being buried was able to surmise the fact that the dirt Chet was shoveling onto him was "super heavy" is poorly worded. I would've been likelier to say something akin to 'I remembered how heavy the dirt'd been from when I was digging what was turning out to be my final resting place'...etc
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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This piece was interesting, in its own way, but had a number of flaws that made it a bit difficult to follow. I found the first paragraph to be unnecessarily repetitious. It would've read far better if the author had worded it differently.
(No, I wouldn't) would've been better written without the parenthesis, as something like "I'll be missed!" Of course, realistically, I knew that nobody would actually be missing me at all, "you'll never get away with....".
This change would also serve to made the author's intent of conveying the fact that his character's words were being muffled by the dirt that Chet was covering him with.
On a merely technical note, I would've phrased the last line of the second paragraph 'Of course, it never occurred to me at the time that Chet'd probably already decided to add my name to his 'loose ends' list.'
On a minor note, the fact that the character being buried was able to surmise the fact that the dirt Chet was shoveling onto him was "super heavy" is poorly worded. I would've been likelier to say something akin to 'I remembered how heavy the dirt'd been from when I was digging what was turning out to be my final resting place'...etc
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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I would have to agree with just about everything you have stated here. I do have an excuse to offer though. I checked out this contest and there was only one entrant and six minutes left until it went to judging. With only one person involved, the contest would be scratched. I wrote and submitted this micro fiction to fill that slot. There are definitely lots of areas for revision.
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Thanx for your answer to my review, my friend. I suppose that a contest with one person in it would hardly qualify as being any kind of a contest at all! Even so, I'm glad that you appreciated the comments that I made. As a wordsmith, myself, my primary goal has always been to try to assist my colleagues in improving their writing styles, overall. If nothing else, I hope that my commentary has helped you to see some of your inconsistencies, even though you were aware that they were there. Happy New Year to you and yours!
Comment from in777wr#
Yes, that was a "Deep Secret". The first sentences really caught my attention, and held it throughout this story. Your picture goes well with this story. This story was short but very captivating, and the deep secret lives on. LOL. Well written.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Yes, that was a "Deep Secret". The first sentences really caught my attention, and held it throughout this story. Your picture goes well with this story. This story was short but very captivating, and the deep secret lives on. LOL. Well written.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much for that great review. Bill
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That was a very good story. It was well deserved.