Hues of Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Senryu(bride walks nervously)"Senryu Collection
10 total reviews
Comment from Jade Lawson
very original seryun. You indeed conveyed well how a bride may feel, the last line was funny and well chosen. Overall well elaborated and right syllable count.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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very original seryun. You indeed conveyed well how a bride may feel, the last line was funny and well chosen. Overall well elaborated and right syllable count.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from marycec
Good senryu capturing how a bride might feel as she walks down the aisle. I have one suggestion you might consider - leave out the word with in the first line.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Good senryu capturing how a bride might feel as she walks down the aisle. I have one suggestion you might consider - leave out the word with in the first line.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from Sasha
This is very clever and made me laugh out loud too. Excellent imagery and conveyed the unexpected woes of nervousness. Great work with this one.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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This is very clever and made me laugh out loud too. Excellent imagery and conveyed the unexpected woes of nervousness. Great work with this one.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from tbacha58
This is your strength, it's amazing how you write a few little words, and it comes out to be the best.
Very original, and I laughed a lot. Great Job. Terry
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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This is your strength, it's amazing how you write a few little words, and it comes out to be the best.
Very original, and I laughed a lot. Great Job. Terry
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from judiverse
This is funny! Oh, the poor bride. Enough to worry about, and then to add on constipation woes. Maybe it is just nerves. Some nice alliteration in this. Oh, those rules for a senryu. You have your 17 syllables, although I thought I had sworn off counting. It looks like a nice choice to use two lines instead of three. judi
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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This is funny! Oh, the poor bride. Enough to worry about, and then to add on constipation woes. Maybe it is just nerves. Some nice alliteration in this. Oh, those rules for a senryu. You have your 17 syllables, although I thought I had sworn off counting. It looks like a nice choice to use two lines instead of three. judi
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Hi,
I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments as always. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
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You're welcome. Very funny. judi
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Tummy problems are never a good thing, and certainly not on the wedding day. This senryu is a very 'visual' write. I can just see the discomfort written all over the brides face.
:-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Tummy problems are never a good thing, and certainly not on the wedding day. This senryu is a very 'visual' write. I can just see the discomfort written all over the brides face.
:-) Carolyn
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
I have never seen a Senryu written in that form my friend. I like the way you give each word so much power. Let me know when you are ready to continue with the poem we started. Great Job
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I have never seen a Senryu written in that form my friend. I like the way you give each word so much power. Let me know when you are ready to continue with the poem we started. Great Job
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review and the glowing stars:)
Comment from rouskin
bride walks nervously with her face showing worries
constipation woes
Very funny moment.I'm glad I'm not in her shoes.
Very refreshing piece.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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bride walks nervously with her face showing worries
constipation woes
Very funny moment.I'm glad I'm not in her shoes.
Very refreshing piece.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from SueZen
Haha...ohla, mmmmm, have I made the right choice ?
Of course, otherwise I wouldn't be getting married...
'que sera sera', so emotions too, ok !
Lovely poem...
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Haha...ohla, mmmmm, have I made the right choice ?
Of course, otherwise I wouldn't be getting married...
'que sera sera', so emotions too, ok !
Lovely poem...
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)
Comment from Sueellen11
Ha ha good one my friend,,, its bad enough walking down the isle,, worrying about tripping,,forgetting your word,, even your new husbands name,,, not the added worry of not pooing,, true to form and count,, a good humorous Senryu ,,well done,,,blessings,,sueellen
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Ha ha good one my friend,,, its bad enough walking down the isle,, worrying about tripping,,forgetting your word,, even your new husbands name,,, not the added worry of not pooing,, true to form and count,, a good humorous Senryu ,,well done,,,blessings,,sueellen
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I am glad you liked it so much. I appreciate your comments. Thanks a lot for the lovely review:)