Reviews from

Summer's End and Promises, pt. 3

4 friends gather to reminisce about good times.

15 total reviews 
Comment from trimple
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There is a certain knowingness that runs through this chapter amongst the four friends. The gentle hand on top of Alice's says so much.
A truly wonderful chapter that reads very easy on the eye. Selfishly, I was a little disappointed that the opening scene was at breakfast rather than the arrival back home from the restaurant that evening, as I feel that there is a missing time lapse between chapters.
None the less a great read.


Great last line!

kind regards
trimple

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
    I figured that the women would just wait until their own emotions had a moment to settle before approaching Alice. I probably should have noted that. thank you for the great review and the nice comments.
reply by trimple on 13-Sep-2013
    Dear Gretchen

    I figured that the women would just wait until their own emotions had a moment to settle before approaching Alice. I probably should have noted that. I think that adding this to the previous chapter would indeed tie the two chapters together:)
    kind regards
    trimple
Comment from MelReyn
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I've missed one! I'll have to go and find it, but first...

I knew something was wrong. :( Which one is your mom?

Your style easily lends itself to scripts. I don't know much about scripts, other than you'd better have strong dialogue (which you do) and that the little movements and expression of emotion is more up to the actors than to you as the writer. You direct, not dictate like one would in a novel.

I think you're doing great. Do you picture any certain actors in these roles?

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you again for the six and the nice review. Gretchen
Comment from EMB
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is good, G. I missed the others, but I can definitely "see" this unfold. The "To her surprise, Alice laughs" is an example of book writing creeping in, though. Everything has to be visual, so what does she do to indicate surprise?

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    I have since corrected the creeping book writer syndrome. I appreciate your pointing it out. I knew there was something about the lines that had me stumped, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Thanks again for the great review. Gretcen
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Yes this is well written and is a good read that is easy to follow full of emotion and friendship I enjoyed well done regards Jill

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you for sticking with this and reviewing. I really appreciate it. Gretchen
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Gretchen,

This part of the story is interesting and compelling. The characters' dialogue is convincing and realistic. It is sad when they learn of Alice's condition, but she lightens the mood by asking them to bring her ashes back next year and spread them in the ocean, stating that her two girls are okay with it.

Curtis

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you again for the stellar rating and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
Excellent
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A very sobering and touching story with a good message. If we could all have friends like that the world would be a lot better place. Good read and keep on writing.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

living everyday to the fullest - every day
a voice barley above - barely
A moving conversation that sounds just like I would expect great friends/sisters to talk and behave in a situation like this
Brooke

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you for catching the spags. Thank you for the great review. gretchen
Comment from marycec
Excellent
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Ah so she knew Hester well! I laughed at the breakfast table with all those pill containers.The relationships between the different protagonists is shaping up nicely too.I enjoyed reading this Gretchen.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from vapros
Excellent
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I enjoyed this script, which was done very well. The settings are appropriate and the dialogue is realistic, and the story is handled with art. Good on you.

v

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you so much for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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I can't say I blame her for asking that of her friend. It relieves the daughters from a very sad task. I think the Ocean would be a wonderful place for ashes. This was
short Gretchen so not much to say, Good job. Nancy

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2013

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
    Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen