Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 100 "Weave the Wizard Awone"Assorted poetry
12 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
I thought this was a really clever poem with words used to the maximum. The theme presented the platform in which the delivery was great. My only wish, I would have like to see a better definition of where the poem was going and where it was progressing to and to its final conclusion. I found it a little difficult to find the red thread without thinking too hard. Having said that, you clearly are a master of words. Maybe it is that mastery of words which blights your thinking of how much the reader would understand at a glace. The words you chose are exquisite and one can see by looking at some of your other work that you are a definite master. Perhaps just a little easier on the delivery to allow some of us lesser beings to get inside what you may be thinking, instead of leaving it all to interpretation. For your mastery you would receive a six, for the final delivery, even with the magic of your wording, I give five for a very well worded poem. I will try to get through some more of your work as I am intrigued by the effortless way you are able to use words. I rather think there are plenty of sixes there in. Well written
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2013
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I thought this was a really clever poem with words used to the maximum. The theme presented the platform in which the delivery was great. My only wish, I would have like to see a better definition of where the poem was going and where it was progressing to and to its final conclusion. I found it a little difficult to find the red thread without thinking too hard. Having said that, you clearly are a master of words. Maybe it is that mastery of words which blights your thinking of how much the reader would understand at a glace. The words you chose are exquisite and one can see by looking at some of your other work that you are a definite master. Perhaps just a little easier on the delivery to allow some of us lesser beings to get inside what you may be thinking, instead of leaving it all to interpretation. For your mastery you would receive a six, for the final delivery, even with the magic of your wording, I give five for a very well worded poem. I will try to get through some more of your work as I am intrigued by the effortless way you are able to use words. I rather think there are plenty of sixes there in. Well written
Comment Written 13-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2013
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You are too kind and I thank you for taking some time and reviewing this (and other works). I enjoy the short formats that allow for the well-chosen word to mean many things. Bill
Comment from barleygirl
The various descriptions thru-out deliver nicely vivid & yukky horrific imagery, the rhyme & rhythm are good, but I don't exactly follow the storyline, if there is one. Good work, though! Good luck!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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The various descriptions thru-out deliver nicely vivid & yukky horrific imagery, the rhyme & rhythm are good, but I don't exactly follow the storyline, if there is one. Good work, though! Good luck!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you for giving this a look.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is clever, and I appreciate the rhyme scheme. I see you had 98 words in the Microsoft counter, so you fit the contest prompt. I think the last line is kind of like nailing the lid on the coffin, so to speak. Good luck in the contest, and I bet this would sound fun to read aloud.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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This is clever, and I appreciate the rhyme scheme. I see you had 98 words in the Microsoft counter, so you fit the contest prompt. I think the last line is kind of like nailing the lid on the coffin, so to speak. Good luck in the contest, and I bet this would sound fun to read aloud.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging review.
Comment from elchupakabra
I really like this piece, I think it's a little more fantasy than horror but you manage to make it both with your last line. I like the overall flow and rhyme scheme, and I really enjoyed your linework and your choice in vocabulary. Great work overall, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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I really like this piece, I think it's a little more fantasy than horror but you manage to make it both with your last line. I like the overall flow and rhyme scheme, and I really enjoyed your linework and your choice in vocabulary. Great work overall, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you taking a look and for reviewing this.
Comment from adewpearl
I like the abcb rhyme with the a and c lines rhyming with the a and c lines in the next stanza
I am laughing out loud at the gelatinous eye goo
very effective descriptive detail that is a mix of humor and horror - this is definitely one amusing and creepy poem LOL :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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I like the abcb rhyme with the a and c lines rhyming with the a and c lines in the next stanza
I am laughing out loud at the gelatinous eye goo
very effective descriptive detail that is a mix of humor and horror - this is definitely one amusing and creepy poem LOL :-) Brooke
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you, Brook, for the enthusiastic and encouraging review.
Comment from Selina Stambi
your backstreet slinking ... great line - created such a visual in my head!
I know this is meant to be horror poetry ... but it seems like delicious tongue-in-cheek horror - the two introductory lines are priceless.
Thank you for the brilliant word pictures you brought into my head, Bill.
I liked this one. All the best in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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your backstreet slinking ... great line - created such a visual in my head!
I know this is meant to be horror poetry ... but it seems like delicious tongue-in-cheek horror - the two introductory lines are priceless.
Thank you for the brilliant word pictures you brought into my head, Bill.
I liked this one. All the best in the contest. :)
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much for the extremely kind and encouraging review.
Comment from Matthew M.
I think this poem is very entertaining. I like the rhyme and viciousness of the wizard. That crazy wizard is wicked and it seems like he might have some kind of nasty experiment planned for his victim. I also like the comedic tone of the poem with the title and the play on words.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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I think this poem is very entertaining. I like the rhyme and viciousness of the wizard. That crazy wizard is wicked and it seems like he might have some kind of nasty experiment planned for his victim. I also like the comedic tone of the poem with the title and the play on words.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you, Matthew, for the encouraging and thoughtful review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the wizard's revenge, i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the wizard's revenge, i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest...
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from AudreyRose
This was awesome, I love the evil wizard idea. The details were great, provided great imagery as it should. I liked the way you jumped right into it with the gelatinous goo. Great job.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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This was awesome, I love the evil wizard idea. The details were great, provided great imagery as it should. I liked the way you jumped right into it with the gelatinous goo. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you, Audrey, for the encouraging review.
Comment from Adri7enne
Dr. Frankenstein at work, I presume. "Perhaps a vent of your frontal lobe would help clear up your blinking." LOL!
Lots of great lines, good rhyming, and a steady rhythm. Humourous and a little scary. Absolutely well done. Good luck in the contest!!!
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Dr. Frankenstein at work, I presume. "Perhaps a vent of your frontal lobe would help clear up your blinking." LOL!
Lots of great lines, good rhyming, and a steady rhythm. Humourous and a little scary. Absolutely well done. Good luck in the contest!!!
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for your kind review.