Sewn Into the Sky
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Midnight Mosaic "Collection of Free Style Poetry
29 total reviews
Comment from kmoss
Portfolio roulette. I do not think six star ratings count on old ones, so I'm giving you a generic five, when in fact this piece deserves 6 million stars. I love this one! You know every time I read something of yours, I think, this is my favorite yet. Your carefully chosen words are so poetic and inspiring. It's obvious you write from the heart but you also add a lot of intelligent and interesting thoughts. I'm always impressed.
I really liked the following:
I was a child drowning within a sea of faded street signs and wind-pulled swing chains.
Home is simply the close of a day and a distant enough destination for an idling mind to lock onto.
Sprinting to clench the blue ribbon of tissue with sweat-bathed palms, they prayed for the promised applause to echo back against their deaf ears.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
  |
Portfolio roulette. I do not think six star ratings count on old ones, so I'm giving you a generic five, when in fact this piece deserves 6 million stars. I love this one! You know every time I read something of yours, I think, this is my favorite yet. Your carefully chosen words are so poetic and inspiring. It's obvious you write from the heart but you also add a lot of intelligent and interesting thoughts. I'm always impressed.
I really liked the following:
I was a child drowning within a sea of faded street signs and wind-pulled swing chains.
Home is simply the close of a day and a distant enough destination for an idling mind to lock onto.
Sprinting to clench the blue ribbon of tissue with sweat-bathed palms, they prayed for the promised applause to echo back against their deaf ears.
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
-
I have to start doing that with you. I Love Your writing obviously, I just get pulled away and don't have much time to review. Still send me them of course. I'm on to yours soon!
But genuinely, I mean this, that is one of the best reviews I've received. Not only did you actually read it, but you thought about it, I can tell.
The book used to be called Climbing The Ocean or Midnight Mosaic but I think it's Sewn into the Sky now. Rama Davi created a book for me! They area my best for sure. Some not on the site though.
I learned poetry Here, I told you a while ago. I joined to work on my stories. Then I thought I was a good pretty but got schooled. Then some of the better writers took me under their wing. So now I can do iambic meter (sonnets) trochaic tetrameter (rondeau, but it's iambic), all novelty forms (acrostics) and true, accurate haikus and senryus.
What I'm saying is, haha I'm joking. I would Not be that pretentious. I can do them all now though. Wait so I actually Did pretentiously brag to you. Lol.
Basically any formal and any free style.
I was big on the site for a few years. I posted all poetry. Got pretty good at it but Really wished I could be inspired to write prose again.
Then I found flash fiction. Or dribble fiction. But it's great because you need to create an entire story with characters and a dramatic plot shift, all while being very concise with words. Each one counts when you have do it in 100 or less. And you also want to make it poetic in a way, good descriptions, etc.
Then I finally got back to my essays after 5-6 years of "training".
Kinds of cool. The poetry taught me the beauty of language and how to encapsulate an amazing scene.
The Flash fiction taught me to be Concise, tightened up my writing, while still utilizes poetry.
I just talked A LOT about myself.
-
You SHOULD talk a lot about yourself because you are an amazing writer. I guess I?m a little bias though because you and I understand and feel writing from the heart and soul. The rest is technical bullshit. Someone recently asked me how long I studied creative writing. Uh...I haven?t. I don?t have an ounce of training, and yeah it probably shows, but the difference is our writing has feeling. And it has truth. Just like some can tell the difference between a flat, generic pop song and a song with soul and feeling. The reason the old music had IT- the Janis joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt cobain feeling. Only some can distinguish between the hollow and the real shit. I truly believe it?s the one gift we receive from a life of trauma. You can study the craft of song writing, poetry, and prose, but the gift has to be there. Ok, I?m rambling. But you know! And I like Midnight Mosaic the best as far as titles go. I?ll get back to reading more of your old stuff soon, but dammit, I need some new stuff too. Don?t let it escape you. Finish Chasing Crazy because you have IT. (And not Stephen King?s IT. Lol but it?s a masterpiece for many reasons). :)
Comment from Leineco
I ran a 50 yard dash - you took on the marathon! There are so many touchstones, aspirations and angst driven moments conveyed here.
In so many well crafted phrases -splashed against the black canvas of what we try not to think about. The abyss we run from . . . and to.
I am particularly fond of
The seconds under the watch inhale time by the hours;
hangs taut across the finish line
eagerness to arrive again to nowhere
faces of familiar strangers stepping out from our dreams
sprinkles down sands from a shattered hourglass
A seductive piece of writing - engaging the id, ego and super-ego all at once.
A rarity.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
 |
I ran a 50 yard dash - you took on the marathon! There are so many touchstones, aspirations and angst driven moments conveyed here.
In so many well crafted phrases -splashed against the black canvas of what we try not to think about. The abyss we run from . . . and to.
I am particularly fond of
The seconds under the watch inhale time by the hours;
hangs taut across the finish line
eagerness to arrive again to nowhere
faces of familiar strangers stepping out from our dreams
sprinkles down sands from a shattered hourglass
A seductive piece of writing - engaging the id, ego and super-ego all at once.
A rarity.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
-
Wow! Again, thank you Alex! I am so incredibly humbled. You even picked out lines you liked. I am so very humbled. I cannot say that enough. You have given me such a boost of motivation. I'm really so grateful you took the time to read them (I know my free verses tend to be long, but I usually have a lot to convey). It means so much to me!
Comment from Cynthia Vale
Your poetic prose piece captures this generation's challenge... the constant pushing. You have some wonderful imagery here, and great use of language. Nice work!
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
|
Your poetic prose piece captures this generation's challenge... the constant pushing. You have some wonderful imagery here, and great use of language. Nice work!
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
-
Wow thank you. That means so much to me. Really. I am honored that you enjoyed it. You read it exactly right!
Comment from dmt1967
This is a very relative piece of writing I like the way you paint a picture of a day in the life of,,, very well written thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
|
This is a very relative piece of writing I like the way you paint a picture of a day in the life of,,, very well written thank you for sharing
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
-
Thank you for reading!
Comment from ravenblack
now this is what prose poetry should be. so much going on here, the impressions you create with your image-laden language. so much to appreciate, one line topping another, racing ahead w/out having time to appreciate. your form perfectly complements the subject. like the image of the painting thick w/the same traveled paths lathered over and over. welcome aboard. want to see more.
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
|
now this is what prose poetry should be. so much going on here, the impressions you create with your image-laden language. so much to appreciate, one line topping another, racing ahead w/out having time to appreciate. your form perfectly complements the subject. like the image of the painting thick w/the same traveled paths lathered over and over. welcome aboard. want to see more.
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
-
Wow I am so honored. I'm honored tat you took the time to read and very honored by your compliments. Truly, truly truly thank you. This gives me a lot of pride. I have trouble "slowing down" and appreciating the moment. I'm always racing to the next. I wish I could just stop and appreciate for a moment you know? Truly though I'm humbled and honored. Thank you so much for your review. I hope to be fans soon! (Rhyme unintended)...
-
if you don't mind, I steered others to your work.
-
You did? That, that is the most inspiring comment. I cannot tell you enough how honored I am. You're so truly kind. Wow. Within a Few Letters and Tears of a Rose are both free verse (not at all implying to read them, just relates). I'm just now learning the different terms, styles. I am going to try and test them all out. But free verse is my passion. It's more from my heart, as it doesn't have to fit into anything. Does that make sense? May I ask you your honest opinion, do you think they are too long for the reader? Again though,thank you thank you thank you, you've brightened my day so very much.
-
no. they are not. readers need to do their job too. some poems require more work than others.
-
That is a really good point and makes me feel better. Great. Sometimes I really do have to write a bit more to get my point across. THANK YOU for everything. You truly have started my day nicely :)
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
"Everything at once" and "Everything is mine" ..... what a very true sign of the times.
You have summed up your write nicely in your Author Notes, and I couldn't agree more with the sentiments you have expressed in your write. This was an extremely well written piece. Many vivid images were created for the reader, and your story causes one to pause and consider/realize the truth of it all.
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
|
"Everything at once" and "Everything is mine" ..... what a very true sign of the times.
You have summed up your write nicely in your Author Notes, and I couldn't agree more with the sentiments you have expressed in your write. This was an extremely well written piece. Many vivid images were created for the reader, and your story causes one to pause and consider/realize the truth of it all.
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
-
Wow, truly thank you. Thank you for reading it as well, I know it was a bit long. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I have a problem appreciating the present moment. Always. It's tough, rate race, etc. I wish I could slow down you know? You are so so very kind for your review Connie. I hope to be fans soon! Sorry to rhyme... ;)
Comment from AprilShower
Hi, Gregory. Well, I've stopped by to read your writing. It's different, but that's okay. It's about your feelings about life today. It's a race. We have to run to fit in society. Life hasn't gotten any better. The wonder and magic I remember came when I was child. The older I become the wonder slowly disappeared. Sometimes I long for those years when everything was beautiful and magical. I think it is innocence that made it that way. Now it seems nothing is off limits.
April
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
|
Hi, Gregory. Well, I've stopped by to read your writing. It's different, but that's okay. It's about your feelings about life today. It's a race. We have to run to fit in society. Life hasn't gotten any better. The wonder and magic I remember came when I was child. The older I become the wonder slowly disappeared. Sometimes I long for those years when everything was beautiful and magical. I think it is innocence that made it that way. Now it seems nothing is off limits.
April
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
-
I really agree. It seemed like once I hit junior year of high school, everything became laid out for me. The normal plan of life. Then all the magic of the world disappeared. I have a very hard time experiencing and appreciating the present moment. It hinders my enjoyment of life. "Running to the next starting gate", etc. my poetry might be different but literally every word, evey line has a meaning, has an explanation. You could pick any line you thought was obscure and I'd be able to tell the meaning. Or you mean the flow? I could understand that. My poetry is really meant to be read aloud, as it Does flow well in a very specific way. THANK YOU so much for your review April!!!
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer does a good job of telling the story clearly from beginning to end. The writer taps into the mind of the reader and gives the reader a perfect visual of the words written. The photo is interesting as the authors notes bring more clarity to the message.
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
|
The writer does a good job of telling the story clearly from beginning to end. The writer taps into the mind of the reader and gives the reader a perfect visual of the words written. The photo is interesting as the authors notes bring more clarity to the message.
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
-
Thank you very much. You are very kind. Yes the picture makes sense with the notes. I also mention an hourglass in the poem but I thought I'd add something in the notes too
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
After the last wave of dizzy sun light drips down from the sky like a wisp of creamy smoke pulled through a faceless vent,--I love this. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem, my friend. You relay your message in an entertaining way.
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
|
After the last wave of dizzy sun light drips down from the sky like a wisp of creamy smoke pulled through a faceless vent,--I love this. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem, my friend. You relay your message in an entertaining way.
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
-
Thank you, I'm honored you liked it. It was a little long so thank you for reading :)
Comment from Curly Girly
This was a lovely free verse poem to read and to savour. Yes, every little moment in the day is important. It is good to value the splendour in simple things.
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
|
This was a lovely free verse poem to read and to savour. Yes, every little moment in the day is important. It is good to value the splendour in simple things.
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
-
Thanks so very much. I agree. You got the message perfectly. Sometimes its hard to...