Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Annabel"A collection of my children's poems
93 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Definitely spoilt I would say. Your poem is lighthearted and fun to read. Nice rhymes and flow. I love the ending. Good luck in the contest!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Definitely spoilt I would say. Your poem is lighthearted and fun to read. Nice rhymes and flow. I love the ending. Good luck in the contest!!! Debbie
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Debbie. Unfortunately no glory for Annabel in the contest, but she did get to eat all the cake!
Steve
Comment from Melspoems
This is a great fun poem for kids about a spoilt and happy little girl.
Your quatrains are well written with a great sing song meter and good abcb rhymes. I especially like how the b rhyme is the same in each quatrain and the last line of each quatrain is a question or comment about the first three lines.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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This is a great fun poem for kids about a spoilt and happy little girl.
Your quatrains are well written with a great sing song meter and good abcb rhymes. I especially like how the b rhyme is the same in each quatrain and the last line of each quatrain is a question or comment about the first three lines.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the perceptive review - I arrived at that format after I'd already penned a few stanzas so had to go back and change the beginning.... I was more than happy with the final result though, even if the voters didn't agree!
Steve
Comment from jjstar
Very cute and for the most part creative and original. I know nothing about form, meter or anything, but I know this was an adorable poem that would send a great message to a spoiled child in need of a lesson. The only thing which made me think twice was the rain in Spain..I was like..okay..my fair lady! Otherwise, spot on..loved it!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Very cute and for the most part creative and original. I know nothing about form, meter or anything, but I know this was an adorable poem that would send a great message to a spoiled child in need of a lesson. The only thing which made me think twice was the rain in Spain..I was like..okay..my fair lady! Otherwise, spot on..loved it!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thanks, jj. Glad you enjoyed my spoilt but happy Annabel.
Steve
Comment from Changeisgood
I was carried along by the lilting lines and it was so pleasant a read. Funny and ridiculous and witty, all at the same time. Wonderful and the moral is shown, but, then if she reaches 105, what the heck. Great fun. I wish you the best of luck. This poem really stands out as something children would love. I love it.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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I was carried along by the lilting lines and it was so pleasant a read. Funny and ridiculous and witty, all at the same time. Wonderful and the moral is shown, but, then if she reaches 105, what the heck. Great fun. I wish you the best of luck. This poem really stands out as something children would love. I love it.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the kind words - not every story has to have a moral - kids love something that is just silly and funny and doesn't have a lesson attached.
Steve
Comment from S.Yocom
What a great poem for a child, Steve! Children like rhyme and meter, which this one has in abundance. I think that they would especially enjoy the last line of each stanza. You were robbed in this contest.
Sally
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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What a great poem for a child, Steve! Children like rhyme and meter, which this one has in abundance. I think that they would especially enjoy the last line of each stanza. You were robbed in this contest.
Sally
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Sally - all the best reviews have come for this after the contest voting!
Comment from petervs
She'd mountains of cake, red fizz in a lake.
~ Bet you would like some of that, too.
(YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!) This really is giving me the munchies! I am hungry now, and if a poems leave you with a certain feeling it is considered good right? =p It really was a pleasant read! ;-) Good luck with the contest!! I wish you nothing but the best! =)
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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She'd mountains of cake, red fizz in a lake.
~ Bet you would like some of that, too.
(YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!) This really is giving me the munchies! I am hungry now, and if a poems leave you with a certain feeling it is considered good right? =p It really was a pleasant read! ;-) Good luck with the contest!! I wish you nothing but the best! =)
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve
Comment from Heidixoxo
Hello Poet,
This is such a great poem you have written and so funny too. Talk about spoiled right? You have done such a good job putting this together and the flow is perfect too. Job very well done my friend. Best of luck to you with this and thank you for sharing.....xoxo
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Hello Poet,
This is such a great poem you have written and so funny too. Talk about spoiled right? You have done such a good job putting this together and the flow is perfect too. Job very well done my friend. Best of luck to you with this and thank you for sharing.....xoxo
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Steveh,
I love the sing song rhythm this one has. I also think it would have been a great one for the picture book contest up at the moment. Well written, lovely pictures produced in my mind and something that I believe children everywhere will enjoy. Well done and good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Hi Steveh,
I love the sing song rhythm this one has. I also think it would have been a great one for the picture book contest up at the moment. Well written, lovely pictures produced in my mind and something that I believe children everywhere will enjoy. Well done and good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thank you, kiwigirl - hadn't spotted the picture book contest - too late now! I did want to have a spoilt child who wasn't a brat and Annabel fitted the bill.
Comment from MikoAmaya
lol This is awesome! How I would have loved to have these things as a child! Hmm, well, actually...maybe not. Either way, love this poem, especially the internal rhymes! Great job and thanks for sharing.
~MikoAmaya
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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lol This is awesome! How I would have loved to have these things as a child! Hmm, well, actually...maybe not. Either way, love this poem, especially the internal rhymes! Great job and thanks for sharing.
~MikoAmaya
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Miko - glad you enjoyed the fun.
Steve
Comment from donaldww
Miss Annabel is spoiled up her wazoo, with mountains of cake and other goodies too numerous to mention. She got fat, but that didn't curtail her longevity, which was reported to be 105 years.
Not too bad for a cake, fizz, and goo guzzler.
Excellent!
DW
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Miss Annabel is spoiled up her wazoo, with mountains of cake and other goodies too numerous to mention. She got fat, but that didn't curtail her longevity, which was reported to be 105 years.
Not too bad for a cake, fizz, and goo guzzler.
Excellent!
DW
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2012
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Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve