Romancing the Bambis
My favorite creature of the forest19 total reviews
Comment from Realist101
Congratulations Beth! I agree...even tho there are way too many of them now, I still hate hunting. I hate it. But we've killed off most cougar and wolves, so the deer are out of control. This is beautifully written Beth. Great work. xoxo .Susan
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Congratulations Beth! I agree...even tho there are way too many of them now, I still hate hunting. I hate it. But we've killed off most cougar and wolves, so the deer are out of control. This is beautifully written Beth. Great work. xoxo .Susan
Comment Written 19-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Thank you Susan, I've not been on for a while and I just noticed I had this review so I'm late responding.
Beth
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No problem Beth! Just glad you're here. x! Susan
Comment from Ekim777
I think you have caught the magic of nature at her living best. I was raised in Zimbabwe, Central Africa, where the small buck use to nibble on my mother's roses. I remember as a kid staring eye to eye at a beautiful King kudu with its masticating jaws and huge corkscrew horns. I wrote a poem about it .
Nothing surpasses Kudu's bearing
Noble head high on huge, beige, body.
Horns spiralling victoriously,
A tousled fringe crowns wise, old face
Whiskers and beard bestow humorous airs
Around slow, masticating mouth
In stately gait, antlers prick the sky
Moving branches, bumping branches.
When danger strikes his twitching senses,
He bolts; sunflower nose piercing blue,
And twisting horns slung inconspicuously
From humped shoulders to a well rounded rump.
You are painting through language, a picture and your animal is the center piece. Every detail is crucial; the more original the better. In face of this much of your piece might be redundant. The emphasis must be on the grandeur of the animal. Words like beauty, grace, chiselled perfection, are not helpful. With respect, -Ekim777
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
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I think you have caught the magic of nature at her living best. I was raised in Zimbabwe, Central Africa, where the small buck use to nibble on my mother's roses. I remember as a kid staring eye to eye at a beautiful King kudu with its masticating jaws and huge corkscrew horns. I wrote a poem about it .
Nothing surpasses Kudu's bearing
Noble head high on huge, beige, body.
Horns spiralling victoriously,
A tousled fringe crowns wise, old face
Whiskers and beard bestow humorous airs
Around slow, masticating mouth
In stately gait, antlers prick the sky
Moving branches, bumping branches.
When danger strikes his twitching senses,
He bolts; sunflower nose piercing blue,
And twisting horns slung inconspicuously
From humped shoulders to a well rounded rump.
You are painting through language, a picture and your animal is the center piece. Every detail is crucial; the more original the better. In face of this much of your piece might be redundant. The emphasis must be on the grandeur of the animal. Words like beauty, grace, chiselled perfection, are not helpful. With respect, -Ekim777
Comment Written 21-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
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Thank you so much for your review and for sharing your poem and thoughts and suggestions with me. The animals in the country where you were raised are so different from here but the none the less amazing works of nature.
Beth
Comment from Grammies
Where I live I often see deer in winter. Beautiful animals indeed. Your story is poignant and endearing. This has met all the requirements for the writing prompt and I could not find any errors. Good work!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
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Where I live I often see deer in winter. Beautiful animals indeed. Your story is poignant and endearing. This has met all the requirements for the writing prompt and I could not find any errors. Good work!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I really appreciate it. All the essays were equally good. I shared the prize with two others.
Beth
Comment from Bayberry
Your feelings for this graceful forest animal come across very clearly. This is a heart-warming read for me because I have loved deer all my life. It's wonderful that you have them come so close to your home and get to see them in the wild. Best wishes with your entry.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Your feelings for this graceful forest animal come across very clearly. This is a heart-warming read for me because I have loved deer all my life. It's wonderful that you have them come so close to your home and get to see them in the wild. Best wishes with your entry.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Thank you so much for the wonderful six star review. I'm so pleased that you considered this little piece worthy of all those stars. I also appreciate your good wishes.
Comment from Fluffyhead
They are lovely animals, although it does kinda suck when they hit your car even when they don't mean too. Love you writing you did a good job with the personal essay.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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They are lovely animals, although it does kinda suck when they hit your car even when they don't mean too. Love you writing you did a good job with the personal essay.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Thank you so much for the great review. Yes that would suck but probably even more for the deer that just hoped to cross the road. I do appreciate your comments.
Comment from mimij1221
LOVE the last paragraph! great, really. the third sentence of the second paragraph could maybe use a comma, in my opinion. the picture is pretty, too.
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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LOVE the last paragraph! great, really. the third sentence of the second paragraph could maybe use a comma, in my opinion. the picture is pretty, too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the review and comments and suggestion.
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you're very welcome.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Beautifully written and tender in tone.
I had a cottage where the deer were plentiful, but rarely saw one.
My house in Toronto was on a ravine and sometimes 15-20 would be walking by our patio doors with no fear of humans, weird....
In your last sentence you have typed the wor compare twice...need to delete.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Beautifully written and tender in tone.
I had a cottage where the deer were plentiful, but rarely saw one.
My house in Toronto was on a ravine and sometimes 15-20 would be walking by our patio doors with no fear of humans, weird....
In your last sentence you have typed the wor compare twice...need to delete.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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I'm amazed when I see some of these things that pass around on the internet where deer seem so unafraid of humans and yet most around here are so shy. Thank you so much for the review and comments and for catching that extra word.
Comment from mommerry
I,too, can't get enough of seeing a graceful deer sail up and over a fence or fallen tree. I shed lots of tears the first time I saw the movie Bambi as a teenager - and then the same thing happened when I watched it with my firstborn. She had a really good cry with me - now she is married to a hunter. She cannot bring herself to go with him as she still remembers the Bambi story. Great job.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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I,too, can't get enough of seeing a graceful deer sail up and over a fence or fallen tree. I shed lots of tears the first time I saw the movie Bambi as a teenager - and then the same thing happened when I watched it with my firstborn. She had a really good cry with me - now she is married to a hunter. She cannot bring herself to go with him as she still remembers the Bambi story. Great job.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Thank you so much for the lovely review and comments. I too married a hunter but after living with me a while, he converted to my way of thinking. Now he'd rather look.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
A well penned story and I liked it. I see deer all the time by my cottage, so I can relate to this beauty.
Great job, and thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Maureen
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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A well penned story and I liked it. I see deer all the time by my cottage, so I can relate to this beauty.
Great job, and thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Maureen
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Thank you so much Maureen. I appreciate you reading this piece and thank you for the good wishes as well.
Comment from ennahanid
I found a lot of pleasure this morning in reading your Romancing the Bambis - Beautiful Creatures writing prompt entry. A nice gentle read and I thank you for it and wish you luck in the contest - Dinah
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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I found a lot of pleasure this morning in reading your Romancing the Bambis - Beautiful Creatures writing prompt entry. A nice gentle read and I thank you for it and wish you luck in the contest - Dinah
Comment Written 20-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
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Dinah, Thank you so much for the review and lovely comments. I'm so glad you liked my little piece.