A Knell for a Life Lived
One's final say31 total reviews
Comment from Colin B
Hi jlsavell
Don't have any 6's but if did, would give.
Oh this is good, oh yes soft, pensive, thoughtful delightful,love the phrase " the blooms of roses gambol with the soft warm breeze",(though maybe you might think of the preposition "in" rather than "with"- I'm not sure of the effect but might be worth a try)
Really evokes a range of feelings through the melodic use of language, vivid imagery and metaphor of regeneration but underpinned by a well considered philosophical viewpoint. It can be said here is one whose heart and mind are conjoined in their awareness of the gift of life. This might be off-base but did you know the poet Blake clapped his hands in joy as he welcomed angels on his deathbed. I've always thought that if you have lived a truely reflected life/purposeful (as Socrates said) you can have no fear of death.. this poem has those qualities of inner understanding of self and confidence in one's own nature and belief.. Really enjoyed,kind regards, Colin
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
  |
Hi jlsavell
Don't have any 6's but if did, would give.
Oh this is good, oh yes soft, pensive, thoughtful delightful,love the phrase " the blooms of roses gambol with the soft warm breeze",(though maybe you might think of the preposition "in" rather than "with"- I'm not sure of the effect but might be worth a try)
Really evokes a range of feelings through the melodic use of language, vivid imagery and metaphor of regeneration but underpinned by a well considered philosophical viewpoint. It can be said here is one whose heart and mind are conjoined in their awareness of the gift of life. This might be off-base but did you know the poet Blake clapped his hands in joy as he welcomed angels on his deathbed. I've always thought that if you have lived a truely reflected life/purposeful (as Socrates said) you can have no fear of death.. this poem has those qualities of inner understanding of self and confidence in one's own nature and belief.. Really enjoyed,kind regards, Colin
Comment Written 17-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
-
Colin, thank you ever so much. I am humbled. I did not expect a review, much less such a glowing one. You are right about with and in..oh a work is never quite finished or perfected , is it??
No, I did not know that about Blake.. you are right about living life to its fullness and grasp all it has to offer.. perghpas that is why the scriptures say "Better is the day of a man's death than his birth" It is in that day that is ghe true tell all for a life lived. A legacy is left regardless if it is negative or positive.. again thank you ... jimi
Comment from Bellringer
Jimi, superbly written and classically styled poem worthy to be placed in any major book of poetry. The lines flow with great elegance and controlled angst; the imagery is superb. The stanzas providing instructions on the planting of roses were brilliant Very nice touch to end with a rhyming couplet. Bravo! Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2012
 |
Jimi, superbly written and classically styled poem worthy to be placed in any major book of poetry. The lines flow with great elegance and controlled angst; the imagery is superb. The stanzas providing instructions on the planting of roses were brilliant Very nice touch to end with a rhyming couplet. Bravo! Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 18-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2012
-
Hector, thank you ever so much. I am so humbled and surprised at how well this work was received. Thank you ever so much!!! jimi
-
You're most welcome, Jimi. Blessings, Hector
Comment from orangebrat
WOW! What a wonderful poem. It reminds me of the works of the greats. I like the thought of writing your own eulogy and the message that you chose to give. This was my favorite part of the poem:
Death will have no victory o'er life that love has built
Now go!
Comfort strangers who also hear the funeral bell
Perhaps the ones who've not known to live so full and well
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2012
|
WOW! What a wonderful poem. It reminds me of the works of the greats. I like the thought of writing your own eulogy and the message that you chose to give. This was my favorite part of the poem:
Death will have no victory o'er life that love has built
Now go!
Comfort strangers who also hear the funeral bell
Perhaps the ones who've not known to live so full and well
Comment Written 18-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2012
-
orangebrat, I do not beleive we have met befoe, Thank you ever so much. I am speechless and so appreciative! I had not the slightest idea this work would be received so well. thank you thank you... jls
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is gorgeous, Jimi. Free verse used to perfect effect - to keep the pace down to where it works with your words. I love the thought exercise too, of imagining one's own eulogy. I very much enjoyed this.
Mike
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
|
This is gorgeous, Jimi. Free verse used to perfect effect - to keep the pace down to where it works with your words. I love the thought exercise too, of imagining one's own eulogy. I very much enjoyed this.
Mike
Comment Written 17-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
-
Mike, so good to see you. thank you so much my friend. I am humbled... jimi
Comment from Eleanor Buron
Exquisite lines in your poem from the first stanza through the last. The gentle progression of thought is presented vibrantly in colorful images. The message is memorable and musical. You have captured a peacefully flowing mood in the total design of your work. I enjoyed reading this poem very much.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
|
Exquisite lines in your poem from the first stanza through the last. The gentle progression of thought is presented vibrantly in colorful images. The message is memorable and musical. You have captured a peacefully flowing mood in the total design of your work. I enjoyed reading this poem very much.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2012
-
Elly, how are you? Thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my work. I appreciate you more than words can say. thank you... jimi.
-
Hi, I'm fine. Was out of town a few days and now trying to catch up. ;)
Comment from October21
THIS IS A FINAL SAY
THE END OF ONE'S LIFE IN A DAY
A QUICK GOODBYE
A SHATTERED CRY
A BEAUTIFUL POEM
THAT HAS A LONG TIME OF GOING
THANKS FOR SHARING
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
|
THIS IS A FINAL SAY
THE END OF ONE'S LIFE IN A DAY
A QUICK GOODBYE
A SHATTERED CRY
A BEAUTIFUL POEM
THAT HAS A LONG TIME OF GOING
THANKS FOR SHARING
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
-
October21, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my work.. I am honored by this review.. jls
Comment from LisaSilva
"For in the spring when grass returns in its verdant quilt,
and the blooms of roses gambol with the soft warm breeze,
our memories will whisper through the trill of bluebirds
Death will have no victory o'er life that love has built"
So very beautifully said! You have been there I can tell. Me too, and love will win!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
|
"For in the spring when grass returns in its verdant quilt,
and the blooms of roses gambol with the soft warm breeze,
our memories will whisper through the trill of bluebirds
Death will have no victory o'er life that love has built"
So very beautifully said! You have been there I can tell. Me too, and love will win!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
-
Lisa Silva, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read my work. I am thrilled you enjoyed this work... jls
Comment from adewpearl
Let the workers carve the earth for my peaceful return - what a beautiful line that is, Jimi
lovely alliteration in heavy heart, though I would say hearts to go with loved ones
excellent alliteration in cannot caress and I just LOVE the sentiment in that rose stanza
A beautifully life-affirming, upbeat ending - I truly love this poem :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
|
Let the workers carve the earth for my peaceful return - what a beautiful line that is, Jimi
lovely alliteration in heavy heart, though I would say hearts to go with loved ones
excellent alliteration in cannot caress and I just LOVE the sentiment in that rose stanza
A beautifully life-affirming, upbeat ending - I truly love this poem :-) Brooke
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
-
Brooke, I am moved beyond words. This particular poem has been so well received. As one who has worked on and off in the deathservice industry, it has been my experience that very few people writhe thier final words or even make any arrangement for their finality. I could go on and on, but I have seen so many families torn apart over what the deceased wishes in thier finality.. so many.. of course that is another subject in and of itself. thank you ever so much.. jimi
-
My children and I cremated their dad and scattered the ashes in what I considered to be a moving way 7 years ago - this clashed so much with his mother's wishes to give him a religious burial that she and her grandchildren never spoke after that. I need to explain that my ex was an atheist and quite vociferous about it, and his mother, while raised in the church, had not attended a service in decades. My children and their grandmother, a horrid woman, had a huge fight right there in the funeral home with the poor funeral director left standing in the corner. It was one of my proudest moments ever as a mother, but I bet the poor director was scared to death someone was going to whip out a gun. LOL
-
I have witnessed many of the above. It is a hard thing to go through.. I could tell you of so many nightmares regarding such... people are just not aware of the devastation it causes families..as you well learned... jimi
Comment from laren
A great poem, the final farewell to a great man, the way he loves and thinks have become immortal. Live in the legacy of love that leaves their loved ones.
It gave me comfort and hope, thanks
Laren
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
|
A great poem, the final farewell to a great man, the way he loves and thinks have become immortal. Live in the legacy of love that leaves their loved ones.
It gave me comfort and hope, thanks
Laren
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
-
laren, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and rweview my work. I am honored... jls
-
My entire pleasure, thank you for lsharing,
Laren
Comment from rightforyou
jlsavell
Wow what a wonderful poem for the parting days and the thoughts that you have employed in this masterpiece. I surly wish that I had a six to post on this wonderful poem. great job and good luck ...Ron
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
|
jlsavell
Wow what a wonderful poem for the parting days and the thoughts that you have employed in this masterpiece. I surly wish that I had a six to post on this wonderful poem. great job and good luck ...Ron
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
-
rightforyou, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my work. I am humbled and honored at yuor wonderful compliment... again thank you... jls