Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Chapter 10; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
71 total reviews
Comment from marcii
That wishing on a falling star takes me back to my childhood, use to always say that though were told never to tell your wish or it wouldn't come true, like when you blow out the candles on you birthday cake.
Thanks for the memories.
A good chapter
Marcii
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
That wishing on a falling star takes me back to my childhood, use to always say that though were told never to tell your wish or it wouldn't come true, like when you blow out the candles on you birthday cake.
Thanks for the memories.
A good chapter
Marcii
Comment Written 23-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RebelRose
The suspense about Cassie's whereabouts is starting to get to everyone, including me, ha ha. I surely hope they can bring her home soon ... before the house looks like a rainbow. LOL. Great chapter.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2010
The suspense about Cassie's whereabouts is starting to get to everyone, including me, ha ha. I surely hope they can bring her home soon ... before the house looks like a rainbow. LOL. Great chapter.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review. I thought the artwork was appropriate for Sara's poor house.
Comment from Jonez08
Excellent chapter, Barbara. This has been my favorite chapter of all. Some flowing, natural dialog, perfect balance of dialog and narrative. Love the ending. Well done!
It's the perfect color for a bedroom," Joe said as he glared at George.
(jealous are we...lol love it!)
Cassandra
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2010
Excellent chapter, Barbara. This has been my favorite chapter of all. Some flowing, natural dialog, perfect balance of dialog and narrative. Love the ending. Well done!
It's the perfect color for a bedroom," Joe said as he glared at George.
(jealous are we...lol love it!)
Cassandra
Comment Written 17-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review and encouraging thoughts.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Sara is one very mixed up lady at present. She had better sort out her thinking on Joe as a "trained killer" - she wouldn't want to be hitched up with an untrained one!
This holds the tension well, keeps Cassie and her possible fate in the forefront of the mind and moves slowly toward the possible outcome. Well done.
Patrick
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2010
Hi Barbara,
Sara is one very mixed up lady at present. She had better sort out her thinking on Joe as a "trained killer" - she wouldn't want to be hitched up with an untrained one!
This holds the tension well, keeps Cassie and her possible fate in the forefront of the mind and moves slowly toward the possible outcome. Well done.
Patrick
Comment Written 17-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from eliz100
This was a good read from beginning to end, as usual. I really like the part about Sara hitting Joe to get his attention. You have portrayed her mixed feelings very well.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
This was a good read from beginning to end, as usual. I really like the part about Sara hitting Joe to get his attention. You have portrayed her mixed feelings very well.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from LadyWave
I was happy to see some of the romance back :) I enjoy the chemistry between Joe and Sara and I was missing it ;-) Stay strong and keep writing!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
I was happy to see some of the romance back :) I enjoy the chemistry between Joe and Sara and I was missing it ;-) Stay strong and keep writing!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Nicnac
Joe's statement about Sara being childish for slugging him cracked me up. LOL That was cute. I could picture the scene well. She got herself all worked up. ;)
Nicely paced. I see the romance building and I like it.
My only suggestion (and a small one) is to take this comment out:
She paused. "I only have one wall painted."
That kind of takes some of the emotion out of that scene. (For me anyway.)
Ohh... I can't wait for Sara to become more confident in Joe and her relationship with him. I want some hanky panky to go on... lol
Nic
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
Joe's statement about Sara being childish for slugging him cracked me up. LOL That was cute. I could picture the scene well. She got herself all worked up. ;)
Nicely paced. I see the romance building and I like it.
My only suggestion (and a small one) is to take this comment out:
She paused. "I only have one wall painted."
That kind of takes some of the emotion out of that scene. (For me anyway.)
Ohh... I can't wait for Sara to become more confident in Joe and her relationship with him. I want some hanky panky to go on... lol
Nic
Comment Written 16-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review. I will take that line out,.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Another well written chapter, the ending was really touching and powerful.
"Not nearly as childish as slugging me on the arm, because you wanted to be held. Now go to sleep, Munchkin." He kissed the top of her head. [[ nice]]
K
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
Another well written chapter, the ending was really touching and powerful.
"Not nearly as childish as slugging me on the arm, because you wanted to be held. Now go to sleep, Munchkin." He kissed the top of her head. [[ nice]]
K
Comment Written 16-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Well done, Barbara. I can see that Sara and Joe have grown even closer. This "George" character better watch himself. I do hope you're doing well these days. Good read.
Isaiah
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
Well done, Barbara. I can see that Sara and Joe have grown even closer. This "George" character better watch himself. I do hope you're doing well these days. Good read.
Isaiah
Comment Written 16-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Brendajay
I wish you luck in your chemo and that you feel better as you get used to it. This is my first time reading your work. You've got a grip on the story you are telling. The romance that is building in this chapter is good. Your dialogue is good too - easy to follow. Suggestion: the last line- you could say, as he kissed the top of her head rather than making this a separate sentence. It feels stiff otherwise. thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
I wish you luck in your chemo and that you feel better as you get used to it. This is my first time reading your work. You've got a grip on the story you are telling. The romance that is building in this chapter is good. Your dialogue is good too - easy to follow. Suggestion: the last line- you could say, as he kissed the top of her head rather than making this a separate sentence. It feels stiff otherwise. thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review. I will recheck that last line.