Kindred Spirits
Feelings about my horse Buster.20 total reviews
Comment from Judy Swanson
Ah, Susan. Thinking about riding off into the sunset, are you? Please stick around and favor us all with more of your great writing!
I love your topic here, and the way it tells of the relationship and love between Buster and you. Simply beautifully said, it shares a very tender moment. Great choice of picture too - and color. Soft and subtle, calming mood.
Good luck in the contest!
As for the free verse form - I'm no expert, for sure. I think the form and structure is pretty much up to the writer.
I'd probably leave out all of the commas - none are really necessary with the line breaks you have. I usually read free verse a lot slower than I read a structured rhyme, at least the first time through. Might also leave off the word "and" and start the 3rd stanza with "I see a mountain range..." And - feel free to totally ignore this whole paragraph. I hesitate to make any suggestions to a free verse piece because there aren't any real rules.
Love and hugs, Judy
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2010
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Ah, Susan. Thinking about riding off into the sunset, are you? Please stick around and favor us all with more of your great writing!
I love your topic here, and the way it tells of the relationship and love between Buster and you. Simply beautifully said, it shares a very tender moment. Great choice of picture too - and color. Soft and subtle, calming mood.
Good luck in the contest!
As for the free verse form - I'm no expert, for sure. I think the form and structure is pretty much up to the writer.
I'd probably leave out all of the commas - none are really necessary with the line breaks you have. I usually read free verse a lot slower than I read a structured rhyme, at least the first time through. Might also leave off the word "and" and start the 3rd stanza with "I see a mountain range..." And - feel free to totally ignore this whole paragraph. I hesitate to make any suggestions to a free verse piece because there aren't any real rules.
Love and hugs, Judy
Comment Written 14-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2010
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Hi Judy! Thank you! I will delete the commas, I wasn't sure. So now I think you are right. And I will delete the other and! I would love to live out west, but I am too old and tired now. IT's just beautiful for the most part. BUT cold! Thanks for this review, I am so happy to hear from you! HUGS back!! ") Susan
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Hi Susan - always remember that when anyone gives you suggestions - it is still your decision and your work. You never want to change something that will change your own voice. I don't think the commas and the 'and' will change your voice, but still always hesitate to make those kind of suggestions.
I agree, most of the West is truly beautiful. But I would miss the great lakes and other waterways here. We do spend some time in California, but I couldn't live there all of the time. Too busy. Do like Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming, and New Mexico though.
Judy
Comment from Ted T
Hi Susan :)
You get a "fiver" for not being negative on this piece.
It's well written and structured. I liked the theme and the positive message.
Ted
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2010
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Hi Susan :)
You get a "fiver" for not being negative on this piece.
It's well written and structured. I liked the theme and the positive message.
Ted
Comment Written 13-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2010
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Hi again! Thank you Ted!! I sure love my old horse. But someday he will have to find a new home or be a pasture ornament. "/ Susan
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Give the old guy a lump of sugar for me :)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Sorry, I can't help you at all with your free verse form. I know nothing about poetry, except what I like. I enjoyed reading it, whether it's the correct form or not. My favorite stanza was:
You are mine, and I am yours,
bound by kindred spirits, that soar
until the end of time ...
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2010
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Sorry, I can't help you at all with your free verse form. I know nothing about poetry, except what I like. I enjoyed reading it, whether it's the correct form or not. My favorite stanza was:
You are mine, and I am yours,
bound by kindred spirits, that soar
until the end of time ...
Comment Written 13-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2010
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Hi Barbara!! How are you!! ?? I am thrilled to hear from you this evening! And very happy you liked this little ditty too. Get lots of rest and get WELL !!! HUG! Susan
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a lovely piece of free
verse, Susan.
bound by kindred spirits[,) that soar - comma not needed
I'm so behind, as I haven't been on line much - have been busy editing my 2nd novel for the publishers
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2010
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This is a lovely piece of free
verse, Susan.
bound by kindred spirits[,) that soar - comma not needed
I'm so behind, as I haven't been on line much - have been busy editing my 2nd novel for the publishers
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2010
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Hi Margaret! It's okay, I will fix these today asap...going to take a nap now! I finished a poem and a story tonight. SOOo tired. Thank you for this great review, and I am happy you are getting your book done, I have the first started, just barely tho! ") Great job! HUG! Susan
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Susan. This is fine free verse as I know it. I love this line
"And I see a mountain range
When I gaze into the window of your soul"
You are an natural talent , indeed. Good luck in the contest. I think it's a winner for sure. I would vote for it. Bob
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hi, Susan. This is fine free verse as I know it. I love this line
"And I see a mountain range
When I gaze into the window of your soul"
You are an natural talent , indeed. Good luck in the contest. I think it's a winner for sure. I would vote for it. Bob
Comment Written 12-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hi Bob! Thank you so much. I sure wish I could ride somewhere out west, I'm just a cowgirl wannabe! lol. What a kind review...thank you again...Hug! Susan
Comment from missy98writer
Susan,
what a beautifully written free verse that's moving. Your words are rich in imagery. Awesome photo of the cowboys. Men in chaps and tight jeans gets the motor revving in me. Excellent use of metaphors and good use of alliteration. I especially enjoyed the window of your soul and bound by kindred spirits similes. Your fifth stanza is my favorite: "You are mine, and I am yours, bound by kindred spirits, that soar until the end of time." A heart fell poem. Have a blessed weekend, my friend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Susan,
what a beautifully written free verse that's moving. Your words are rich in imagery. Awesome photo of the cowboys. Men in chaps and tight jeans gets the motor revving in me. Excellent use of metaphors and good use of alliteration. I especially enjoyed the window of your soul and bound by kindred spirits similes. Your fifth stanza is my favorite: "You are mine, and I am yours, bound by kindred spirits, that soar until the end of time." A heart fell poem. Have a blessed weekend, my friend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hi Melissa, I am so sorry for this slow reply! Thank you, I havn't forgotten you, I am behind in everything!! HUGS! Susan
Comment from anne1204
I love your poems about horses, riding, the old west, cowboys and all that stuff. Even thou it is free verse there is a nice flow as you read it. Anne 1204
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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I love your poems about horses, riding, the old west, cowboys and all that stuff. Even thou it is free verse there is a nice flow as you read it. Anne 1204
Comment Written 12-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hi there Anne! Great! I am always SO happy to know this! You are a wonderful fan! Happy weekend!! ") Susan
Comment from misscookie
I can't help you with what is wrong or right with free verse. Because I just write what I feel and other who understand poem better then I, would say they love my free verse poem. so I'm sure some one will tell you.
I love the poem and the flow.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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I can't help you with what is wrong or right with free verse. Because I just write what I feel and other who understand poem better then I, would say they love my free verse poem. so I'm sure some one will tell you.
I love the poem and the flow.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hi Cookie!! It's okay! I appreciate all your lovely reviews each time! Always!! luv, Susan
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It's my pleasure, take care.
Comment from Carrie Smith
Hey there! Susan, this is a touching expression of the love and comfort found in the relationship between you and Buster - perfect commitment and understanding. Love that picture. The ellipse are right on..Ha! GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST! Love you...Susan
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hey there! Susan, this is a touching expression of the love and comfort found in the relationship between you and Buster - perfect commitment and understanding. Love that picture. The ellipse are right on..Ha! GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST! Love you...Susan
Comment Written 12-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hi again! I don't even know if this qualifies as any free verse...but had fun trying. Did you see the dust? I eat dust every time I step outside. We have a 50% chance of RAIN!!! AHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!! Saturday! OMG!!! IF it does, it will be just a few drops. I want to live in a RAIN FOREST! But then! I would get eaten by a boa constrictor or some creature. I am going to write a poem about it. or something. ") Thank you for another kind review Susan!! xoxo. Susan
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Thanks for sharing with me its is a well written poem it has imagery and flows well. I liked this it has feeling and passion. Good night Mary.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Thanks for sharing with me its is a well written poem it has imagery and flows well. I liked this it has feeling and passion. Good night Mary.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2010
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Hi Mary! Thank you! Did you notice the dust in the pix? We are so dry here , it's like that outside if we just walk across a bare spot in the yard. I can barely breathe. And I hope you sleep well. I am tired too...but bad neighbors won't let me sleep. Thanks again Mary!! Susan