Who Am I?
Learning your life is a lie33 total reviews
Comment from Realist101
Oh Sasha...gee, this has me close to tears...I had a little daughter...who was stillborn. Your sadness in this could come straight from this old heart. My baby's name was Beverly Ann. She rests in a heart shaped cemetery for babies here in Lafayette. I need to go visit her...and put some flowers there. This story is heart-breaking. xoxo, Susan
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2011
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Oh Sasha...gee, this has me close to tears...I had a little daughter...who was stillborn. Your sadness in this could come straight from this old heart. My baby's name was Beverly Ann. She rests in a heart shaped cemetery for babies here in Lafayette. I need to go visit her...and put some flowers there. This story is heart-breaking. xoxo, Susan
Comment Written 29-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2011
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The inspiration for this was a article I read about a group of doctor and nurses that had set up a baby exchange for money. I found it appalling and impossible to understand how anyone could do something to horrific and cruel. It was very well organized and involved some highly respected doctors and nurses. There was a big argument over whether officials should tell the victims of this scam for profit or leave the children alone. A very wise judge disagreed and the final decision was to file charges against the parents who had obviously participated in the scam. I think all in all it involved closed tp 15 children. Sadly some of the real mothers had died, probably from heart break and 2 had committed suicide. The children's names were kept private. I actually cried when I learned about this and have kept it in the back of my mind for nearly 10 years waiting for the right time to write about it. I just could imagine anything worse happening,especially knowing your child was alive but no one would listen or believe you. Sorry I made you cry, I cried while I was writing it too.
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And I often wonder who my birth parents were too, as I am/was adopted. For 'officials', or people of position to act this way, well. Greed for money is just the worst sin. I am seldom drawn to tears when I read, but this time, I was. It's okay tho, really. Great writing. xoxo, susan
Comment from Mithma
It is a nice story to read. This is such a cruel thing to do really. I like the last paragraph best.
And why you wanted to stress that Mary Louise or Anne Marie was inherited by her adopted parents nevertherless of her identity?
I think following line has to be corrected as
"Mary faked a smile. "I just want to see her room; there is no harm in that. Is there?" When it is written like "Mary faked a smile. "I just want to see her room; there is no harm in that is there." it is bit confusing.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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It is a nice story to read. This is such a cruel thing to do really. I like the last paragraph best.
And why you wanted to stress that Mary Louise or Anne Marie was inherited by her adopted parents nevertherless of her identity?
I think following line has to be corrected as
"Mary faked a smile. "I just want to see her room; there is no harm in that. Is there?" When it is written like "Mary faked a smile. "I just want to see her room; there is no harm in that is there." it is bit confusing.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Her parents adopted her illegally so members of her family, aunts, uncles or cousins, go to court and claim she had no claim the the family estate. By law, she was not their real daughter. By wording the will as she did, eliminated any possibility she would loose her inheritance. She faked a smile to keep her feelings hidden. She was not yet ready to tell the nurse who she was. I hope this clears up the confusion. Thanks for the five stars, I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from BarnCat
Wow -- what a story you concocted around those few opening words. Excellent construction, even with the nonlnear timeline, and this reader never got lost. I can't even imagine what such a discovery would do to a person. After reading your very credible story, I have a better idea. D
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Wow -- what a story you concocted around those few opening words. Excellent construction, even with the nonlnear timeline, and this reader never got lost. I can't even imagine what such a discovery would do to a person. After reading your very credible story, I have a better idea. D
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Thank you so very much. I seldom wander into fiction but I found this contest interesting and had fun with it.
Comment from songlines
A most excellently told story. Just the right mix and not overly sentimental. I am sure that there are other truths similar to this and in fact I know of one myself, not me I hasten to add. I have always felt that this sort of story makes a nonsense of genealogy, one of my hobbies.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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A most excellently told story. Just the right mix and not overly sentimental. I am sure that there are other truths similar to this and in fact I know of one myself, not me I hasten to add. I have always felt that this sort of story makes a nonsense of genealogy, one of my hobbies.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Thank you so very much for your enthusiastic and generous review. I don't often dabble in fiction but occasionally take on the challenge.
Comment from Minglement
I love this touching story and the off beat way you took it from the first line. It was a creative meandering to a poignant story that was so believable. Well done. You deserved recognition for this great story. Marcia
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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I love this touching story and the off beat way you took it from the first line. It was a creative meandering to a poignant story that was so believable. Well done. You deserved recognition for this great story. Marcia
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Thank you. I am pleased you enjoyed this.
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You're so welcome. Take care, Marcia
Comment from Tellis
I didn't find anything in this fine story that needs to be changed and I enjoyed reading it very much. It's hard to think that someone would do such an awful thing to another but I bet it happens more than we know.
Tellis
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2010
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I didn't find anything in this fine story that needs to be changed and I enjoyed reading it very much. It's hard to think that someone would do such an awful thing to another but I bet it happens more than we know.
Tellis
Comment Written 21-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2010
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Thank you very much for your generous review. Baby snatching had become such a problem that the hospitals had to install new state of the art alarms systems. There have been a few documented cases of doctors and nurses assisting, but that is far less common.
Comment from L.lora
Sasha this was fantastic. Expertly
written, wonderful discriptive narratives
and equally grand dialogue. You capture
your reader from the first line and hold
the attention throughout the story. You
do need to post a warning that tissue is
needed. I can not tell you how exceptional
I believe this writing is. Bravo and roses
at your feet. Hugs, Lora
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Sasha this was fantastic. Expertly
written, wonderful discriptive narratives
and equally grand dialogue. You capture
your reader from the first line and hold
the attention throughout the story. You
do need to post a warning that tissue is
needed. I can not tell you how exceptional
I believe this writing is. Bravo and roses
at your feet. Hugs, Lora
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thank you so very much. I am honestly thrilled you liked this one despite its dark nature. Several people have told me I should expand it into a book and I am actually thinking about it. I like the idea of the mother/Lilly sticking around to get to know her long lost daughter. At least it is something to think about. Thanks for the great review. I truly value your opinion.
Comment from Alaskastory
'Who Am I?' is off to a great start for a much longer story if you feel inclined. You turned the opening line into a real story. Descriptions are well done.
Need to delete an n: '....and tell a(n) gullible first time mother'
I wonder if finding her real father would further this adventure and possibly influence the sale of the big house -- or something mysterious.
A really good contest entry, Smurph.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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'Who Am I?' is off to a great start for a much longer story if you feel inclined. You turned the opening line into a real story. Descriptions are well done.
Need to delete an n: '....and tell a(n) gullible first time mother'
I wonder if finding her real father would further this adventure and possibly influence the sale of the big house -- or something mysterious.
A really good contest entry, Smurph.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks for catching the spag. I am thrilled you liked this one despite its dark nature.
Comment from Readywriter52
Lilly lived and died alone. Older people are forgotten by their parents. No one acknowledges them or their contributions to this world. They are the forgotten people.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Lilly lived and died alone. Older people are forgotten by their parents. No one acknowledges them or their contributions to this world. They are the forgotten people.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thank you. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from missy98writer
Sasha,
I was reading this at 915 am CST this morning and our cable, phone and internet all wet out. So bozo in the area was digging without calling. Our internet was out for over five hours. I'm so behind because of it because Monday is when I do my bulk of reviewing. Your story titled Who Am I is awesomely written and moving. I'm crying as I write this review. The art work you picked is perfection. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative, great dialogue and very good descriptive writing. You managed to established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. Poor Mary dealing with the sudden and tragic death of her mother two weeks ago and Lilly is missing. Usually when it rains it pours. How tragic that Mary learned she was kidnapped from Lilly. The letter was shocking she received. The last paragraph was so moving. This is an outstanding story for the contest. I hope you win. Now I'm scared to post mine, your is so much better. Mine is dramatic and a little mysterious. Your writing is awesome on this one, my friend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Sasha,
I was reading this at 915 am CST this morning and our cable, phone and internet all wet out. So bozo in the area was digging without calling. Our internet was out for over five hours. I'm so behind because of it because Monday is when I do my bulk of reviewing. Your story titled Who Am I is awesomely written and moving. I'm crying as I write this review. The art work you picked is perfection. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative, great dialogue and very good descriptive writing. You managed to established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. Poor Mary dealing with the sudden and tragic death of her mother two weeks ago and Lilly is missing. Usually when it rains it pours. How tragic that Mary learned she was kidnapped from Lilly. The letter was shocking she received. The last paragraph was so moving. This is an outstanding story for the contest. I hope you win. Now I'm scared to post mine, your is so much better. Mine is dramatic and a little mysterious. Your writing is awesome on this one, my friend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Thank you so very much for your awesome review. I am thrilled you enjoyed this despite its dark nature. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the wonderful 6 stars. However, please do not hesitate or be worried about posting your story. That is the marvelous thing about writing, no two people like the same thing. Again, thank you very much.