A Fantasy Come True?
Or is it something else?16 total reviews
Comment from irishauthorme
Wow, you really had me going there, but when I found out that the hot lady was really his wife, I was not even disappointed! What a neat game, and what a great partner to have to play it with. Gosh, did I hear someone drop the soap?
irish
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Wow, you really had me going there, but when I found out that the hot lady was really his wife, I was not even disappointed! What a neat game, and what a great partner to have to play it with. Gosh, did I hear someone drop the soap?
irish
Comment Written 21-Aug-2010
Comment from bookishfabler
There were some things to look at, but I gave you five for that ending. I loved it.
I remember(ed) my sister(,) and a few of her friends came back from the party with me, but I just assumed everyone left, after I went to bed at two.
As I was covering (As I covered) her with the blanket, she stirred, opened her eyes slightly, and then quickly sat up, as the blanket fell onto her lap.
"Oh(,) that explains my headache."
I noticed the sheer lace panties (-of) (on) the floor and could see her completely naked though the clear glass shower doors.
when she hears him come near,(she) turns over to show him
but knows he'll probably just look(-,) until she wakes up.
When she opens the shower door, turns around and presses the front of her body against the tile wall,(she) looks over her shoulder and bites her lower lip,(and) what do you think he does?"
hugs book
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There were some things to look at, but I gave you five for that ending. I loved it.
I remember(ed) my sister(,) and a few of her friends came back from the party with me, but I just assumed everyone left, after I went to bed at two.
As I was covering (As I covered) her with the blanket, she stirred, opened her eyes slightly, and then quickly sat up, as the blanket fell onto her lap.
"Oh(,) that explains my headache."
I noticed the sheer lace panties (-of) (on) the floor and could see her completely naked though the clear glass shower doors.
when she hears him come near,(she) turns over to show him
but knows he'll probably just look(-,) until she wakes up.
When she opens the shower door, turns around and presses the front of her body against the tile wall,(she) looks over her shoulder and bites her lower lip,(and) what do you think he does?"
hugs book
Comment Written 21-Aug-2010
Comment from barbara.wilkey
What a fun little twist at the end! I enjoyed reading your short story. I lived up to rest of your short stories and even included a wife this time. Good job.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2010
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What a fun little twist at the end! I enjoyed reading your short story. I lived up to rest of your short stories and even included a wife this time. Good job.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2010
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Yeah, I thought I would include a wife in the fun this time, lol. Thanks for reading, Barbara. - John
Comment from missy98writer
John,
your photograph perfectly fit the them of your story. I loved your tale of a man and his sister's friend laying half naked on the bed. Excellent dialogue, great narrative and very descriptive writing. I could see your story unfold in my head as I read. Here are the lines that stood out for me:
The dress belonged to one of my sister's friends, Nicole, a gorgeous brunette with shoulder length, brown curly hair and an outrageous tight little body.
I was heading for the kitchen to make some coffee, when I noticed her, half naked, lying on my white sofa. She was only wearing a pair of black sheer lace panties. I noticed a small tattoo on the back of her left hip, and had to take a closer look. It was a cute little sunburst.
She was moving her shoulders, trying to get settled, as her breasts swayed with the movements. They were magnificent. I stood staring at her nipples that were hardening in front of my eyes. I feasted on her smooth skin, and how tight her tummy was, leading into her sheer nylon panties. What a wonderful sight.
I made the coffee and went into my room to see if Nicole wanted breakfast. I heard the shower running, opened the bathroom door slightly and asked if she wanted breakfast. I noticed the sheer lace panties of the floor and could see her completely naked though the clear glass shower doors.
"It's not every day you wake up to find a naked woman in your apartment. When I saw you lying there, I thought about what it would be like to feel your breasts, to run my hands slowly down your body until you woke up and pulled me close to you. Some fantasy, huh?"
"It's about a girl, whose best friend has a hot brother who lives alone. She goes out with his sister and a few friends, gets them tipsy, and suggests they drop in on her brother. She agrees and we stop to get a bottle of Vodka, so we can party. The girl pretends to be drunk and stays over. She takes off most of her clothes and positions herself on the couch so that the brother has to see her."
Dropping my shorts and walking into the shower, I press my body against hers from behind. My response is: "He makes passionate love in the shower to his wife, who also happens to be his sister's best friend. You're so hot, Nicole. I love your little games."
I love it, they turned out to be a married couple spicing up their sex lives. What a delicious story. You did a great job with a twist at the end. It was a delight to read your story.
Melissa.
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John,
your photograph perfectly fit the them of your story. I loved your tale of a man and his sister's friend laying half naked on the bed. Excellent dialogue, great narrative and very descriptive writing. I could see your story unfold in my head as I read. Here are the lines that stood out for me:
The dress belonged to one of my sister's friends, Nicole, a gorgeous brunette with shoulder length, brown curly hair and an outrageous tight little body.
I was heading for the kitchen to make some coffee, when I noticed her, half naked, lying on my white sofa. She was only wearing a pair of black sheer lace panties. I noticed a small tattoo on the back of her left hip, and had to take a closer look. It was a cute little sunburst.
She was moving her shoulders, trying to get settled, as her breasts swayed with the movements. They were magnificent. I stood staring at her nipples that were hardening in front of my eyes. I feasted on her smooth skin, and how tight her tummy was, leading into her sheer nylon panties. What a wonderful sight.
I made the coffee and went into my room to see if Nicole wanted breakfast. I heard the shower running, opened the bathroom door slightly and asked if she wanted breakfast. I noticed the sheer lace panties of the floor and could see her completely naked though the clear glass shower doors.
"It's not every day you wake up to find a naked woman in your apartment. When I saw you lying there, I thought about what it would be like to feel your breasts, to run my hands slowly down your body until you woke up and pulled me close to you. Some fantasy, huh?"
"It's about a girl, whose best friend has a hot brother who lives alone. She goes out with his sister and a few friends, gets them tipsy, and suggests they drop in on her brother. She agrees and we stop to get a bottle of Vodka, so we can party. The girl pretends to be drunk and stays over. She takes off most of her clothes and positions herself on the couch so that the brother has to see her."
Dropping my shorts and walking into the shower, I press my body against hers from behind. My response is: "He makes passionate love in the shower to his wife, who also happens to be his sister's best friend. You're so hot, Nicole. I love your little games."
I love it, they turned out to be a married couple spicing up their sex lives. What a delicious story. You did a great job with a twist at the end. It was a delight to read your story.
Melissa.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2010
Comment from Jay Squires
A great read with a titillating rise in the action until the climax. It was a great twist you put on the ending.
Thoroughly enjoyable. I don't think it really warranted the "sexual content" rating. I hope you didn't limit your readership by that.
Blessings,
Jay
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A great read with a titillating rise in the action until the climax. It was a great twist you put on the ending.
Thoroughly enjoyable. I don't think it really warranted the "sexual content" rating. I hope you didn't limit your readership by that.
Blessings,
Jay
Comment Written 20-Aug-2010
Comment from Halfree
Nicely told story with a twist. You took us down a path, set us up and had the last chuckle, like an O. Henry story.
The writing is very good and the story well balanced. Good read.
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Nicely told story with a twist. You took us down a path, set us up and had the last chuckle, like an O. Henry story.
The writing is very good and the story well balanced. Good read.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2010
Comment from RKagan
What an adorable surprise ending. I love this. To see a married couple still so engaged in each other is so romantic. Well written story
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What an adorable surprise ending. I love this. To see a married couple still so engaged in each other is so romantic. Well written story
Comment Written 20-Aug-2010
Comment from closetpoetjester
Ooh you are naughty John! My screen is fogging up ... hang on a minute....I'll just get the chamois! LOL
I loved this titillating little number and boy do you have a way with the ladies...and the words my friend.
I must say though, Nicole was a bad, bad girl and equally naughty and definitely sounded like a hottie.
Good writing and your narratives choice as always in a well told and erotic read. You always seem to elude to a different plot and then BANG! right at the end, you pull the wool out from underneath your aroused readers!
This was very clever and indeed truly naughty and not what I expected at all.
Top job friend and I look forward to your next piece as always an IMMENSE pleasure to read.
Chow for now.
Closet xoxoxo
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Ooh you are naughty John! My screen is fogging up ... hang on a minute....I'll just get the chamois! LOL
I loved this titillating little number and boy do you have a way with the ladies...and the words my friend.
I must say though, Nicole was a bad, bad girl and equally naughty and definitely sounded like a hottie.
Good writing and your narratives choice as always in a well told and erotic read. You always seem to elude to a different plot and then BANG! right at the end, you pull the wool out from underneath your aroused readers!
This was very clever and indeed truly naughty and not what I expected at all.
Top job friend and I look forward to your next piece as always an IMMENSE pleasure to read.
Chow for now.
Closet xoxoxo
Comment Written 20-Aug-2010
Comment from WillowDreamer
Wild, hot, irresistible! Wow! I love this piece! Very clear, very defined and what a wonderful little twist at the end. Fabulous! Thanks!
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Wild, hot, irresistible! Wow! I love this piece! Very clear, very defined and what a wonderful little twist at the end. Fabulous! Thanks!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2010
Comment from Begin Again
John,
As usal, your hot and passionate little numbers thrills the reader and sends a few arousal arrows to the most pertinent of areas. Very well done...
He was cupping her left breast and running her right hand (Think you meant she unless our dear little wife changed sexes in the middle of the scene..lol)
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2010
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John,
As usal, your hot and passionate little numbers thrills the reader and sends a few arousal arrows to the most pertinent of areas. Very well done...
He was cupping her left breast and running her right hand (Think you meant she unless our dear little wife changed sexes in the middle of the scene..lol)
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 19-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2010
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Thanks for picking thst up, Carol. I fixed it. We all need a few fantasy's to get through it all. Regards, - John