Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Chapter 3 Part three"
Can love survive small town gossip?

87 total reviews 
Comment from KayteeF
Excellent
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Okay my dear I was wrong, I have changed my mind. I don't suppose Joe was anywhere near Sara's senior prom.
Nice to see some real romantic moments in this one.
Great momentum here. From their first dance, being bothered by Roy to her choosing Joe over Roy for her special dance, I am left so much in wonder at your ability to tell the story so naturally.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
Comment from skychild27
Excellent
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it breaks my heart that people could be so cruel to sara. Joe is trying his hardest to defend her and care for her, but its like everyone is out to get her. I almost expected it to be some cruel joke when they asked her up to the stage as homecoming queen, to spray her with liquid or make cruel jokes about her. thankfully that didn't occur. another wonderful chapter. I'll keep reading!

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2010
    Thank you for going back and reading the earlier chapters. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Ponder
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

I'm trying to catch up on all my favourite writing.

This is a great chapter, the tender way that Joe reacts to Sara's story is very well done, as is the story itself, it really pushes the plot forward.

Super job.

Jules

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate you taking time it read back.
Comment from Helen Tan
Excellent
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I have a feeling that Roy may be Cassie's dad. His character seems mean enough for spiking a drink and raping a girl. Still, it's too early to tell.

This chapter was smooth reading and I'm glad to read smooth sailing for Joe and Sara's relationship.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and support. I have missed you. I hope you were traveling and every thing is all right with you.
reply by Helen Tan on 27-Jul-2010
    I've just completed all the reviews of your other chapters. Now I'm up to date. =D

    I'm well - exhausted. I'm just taking some time to review and get back into a "normal life' again. =D
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
    I want to fix some things that you pointed out on the other reviews. I need to get on my other computer to do that. I get to those in the morning.
Comment from TreesofGreen
Excellent
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Again, your work is excellent. I could spot nothing to revise. Best to rely on those who have read all chapters as regards any inconsistancies. As far as I can tell this is pitch perfect as regards, characters, tempo and puctuation. Best Regards, Trees.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    Thank you for you kind review.
Comment from afternoonlight
Excellent
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Oh! She throws up her hands in the air. We were so close to knowing who Cassie's father is so Joe can fix everything . Exciting of course I don't want it to end. I'm moving on I think I have another chapter to read...I hope

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    Yes, theirs a lot more. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from prophetess
Excellent
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Ecellently written story Barbara. I like the relationships that are developing between Joe, sara, and Roy. I love the way your dialogue flows and the structure is easy to follow and read. I hope to learn alot from your style of writing, hope you don't mind me using some of it for my erotica story.

Prophetess

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    Not a problem, but I really don't write Erotica. The closest I came was a short story I wrote about Jack and Jill. If you want to read it, it's in my portfolio.
reply by prophetess on 25-Jul-2010
    Oh, I will have to read it. Is it spicey Barb? Lol. I'll bet you could write a good erotica story. Is it just not something you like to write? I'm just learning, this is actually my first attempt at writing anything other than poetry.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    I invite you to read it. I don't enjoy writing erotica. I do write love scenes at appropriate places in my novels, but erotica isn't love scenes, it's sex.
reply by prophetess on 25-Jul-2010
    So true, it is definetly sex. :-) I think it can incorporate romance into it, but most don't. In my story, I'm trying to keep it sexy, but it's still just sex, no relationship status at all at this point. I guess it all has it's time and place though. Thanks for the kind responses.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    The difference between a romance novel/story and erotica is in a romance you have to have the emotions. It's not just sex, you have to have the feelings and making love is the natural progression. In erotica it's a booty call, for the purpose of sex. There is a huge different.
reply by prophetess on 25-Jul-2010
    Lol, okay. Point taken. Next maybe I'll try writing an erotic romance. Just to see if I can incorporate the two genres.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    That would be very hard to do since romance needs the emotion and erotica needs the sex. Sex and making love are two different things are the actions are the same. It all falls into the emotion issue.
reply by prophetess on 25-Jul-2010
    True, but what you have a story within a story, where there is the romance and the passion, and emotion of a loving relationship with a twist of another life where sex is the main objective? Just a thought off the top of my head.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    You could probably do with one of them having a past that keeps interferring with their future. Once the couple start falling for each other neither is allowed to stray in a romance, there's strict rules about what is allowed and what isn't, of course maybe you could have a friend that one of them is trying to counsel.
reply by prophetess on 25-Jul-2010
    I think I could come up with something.
Comment from vandawalker
Excellent
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Very romantic and tastefully written. This theme is an especially good one for girls and mothers to be aware of such dangers. Joe is a real knight in shining armor. Good emotions brought out in a realistic manner. I was surprised how up front Roy was in front of Joe. Maybe that's a clue. Thanks for another good chapter.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    More information about Roy will be discovered as the novel continues.
Comment from Hank Foresta
Average
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Ah, those love stories. I guess the reason I don't like them is the portrayal of weak characters. You did draw that well. Good luck with the remainder of the saga.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 25-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    Rambo really doesn't fit into romance novels. Joe is hardly a weak character and Sara is growing and will not end the novel as a weak. She will become very strong as is very realistic as life challenges her. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Beauty28
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,
I think that might be the first story I have reviewed of yours. I really enjoyed of yours.

Sara has really had it rough.
When you are subjected to a rape, it is not a thing that you can forget. Even with counselling, it can still take a fair amount of time. I know because I was assaulted at 17.

However, Sarah's circumstances are different. At her High School Prom Ball, she had her drink spiked. Then if this isn't bad enough, she becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby a little girl she calls Casssie.

I think that Sarah is a very trusting person to tell Joe about what she remembers the night she was raped. This would not have been easy for Sarah to do so I think writing this in the story was a good idea. It seems to me that Roy is responsible for the attack and quite possibly little Cassie,is his daughter.

My question now I asking myself is "how long before she reveals who the real father is? But my feeling is that Roy is the father because all the evidence points to him in my opinion.

Yes, you have my attention definitely with this and I am going to try to go back and see how all this got started.
Your descriptions of the characters are so good.
It is obvious that Roy and Joe are both going after Sarah.

However, I think that Roy certainly doesn't deserve Sarah he seems like a real SOB, he seems a real cowardly type.Joe, on the other hand, he is concerned about her
He won't let her down, or treat her badly like I suspect Roy has done, especially where the rape is concerned.

I think this is a great picture as it truly does depict what is happening between Joe and Roy. I see them doing as the picture shows. They will be locking horns where Sarah is concerned. Very good Choice there. It has my vote. I can't wait to read more.
Love Beauty.


 Comment Written 25-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and words. I am glad you picked out all the clues I am giving. I know they are working.
reply by Beauty28 on 25-Jul-2010
    It's not that hard really.
    I just got lucky. Lve Beauty.