Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "You're Caught!"Short Stories
40 total reviews
Comment from Realist101
Honestly Carol, you should be a script writer for a syndicated prime time CSI type show. THese stories are perfectly suited for hour long weekly shows? I think. You should submit them to someone? Very professional and well done!! Susan
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Honestly Carol, you should be a script writer for a syndicated prime time CSI type show. THese stories are perfectly suited for hour long weekly shows? I think. You should submit them to someone? Very professional and well done!! Susan
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Susan
Thank you very much for the review and generous comments. I just wish I could get something published...especially now since we both became unemployed this week. Life sucks! Smiles to you, CArol
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Oh Carol, I am so sorry to hear this. I pray you both have some unemployment due!! If so, take complete advantage. Our taxes are SUPPOSED to help folks like you. We have been lucky SO FAR, my husband is still working. He has lost overtime, but we do not gripe about it. Submit your best to some producers in Hollywood, YOU NEVER KNOW????? It would be worth a try? I will accept 10% for being an "advisor"!!LOL LOL :) NO, I would not do that to you!!!! I do wish you all the best of luck SOON. You are a great person, and do not deserve to be out of work in this country. HUGS, Susan
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Susan
He will get unemployment but I owned a catering business (I tried to hang on but my last customer said they were sending their people to Florida...Can't blame them..It's sure a lot warmer. Don't know how long I'll be able to stay on line...major cuts coming I think.....Thanks for the great encouragement...Take care...Hugs, Carol
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Carol, can you maybe advertise for more customers for your catering? Do you need ads? How does this work? I sure wish I could help somehow. Let me know? I wish I could go south myself, but like you, can't afford all the things we want. Hang in there, we need you on this site!! :) Hugs, Susan
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We lived in what was once a thriving manufacturing town which now has empty factories everywhere...The first thing any company cancels in free food...
Our unemployment is also in the double digits...
Hopefully, God has something in mind for me that I'm not aware of because I'm out of answers...Thank you for your sweet concern...HUgs, CArol
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Dear Carol, I will at least help you keep your computer on? I sure don't want you to have to stop writing!!! NOT you!!!! I know it is dangerous to give addresses out on here, but I will help if you will let me? At least for a while? You have too much talent to have to stop...Susan
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You are more than a wonderful friend..but I could not let you do that...It's not right when everyone is struggling. You don't know how much the thought means to me though...Thank you so so much. You're the best! Hugs, Carol
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Well, if you change your mind just give me a holler!!! I mean it. Thank you for being such a good friend to me too Carol. :) Susan
Comment from BarnCat
Carol -- this is a great take on the prompt! I believe I read an earlier draft of this and really like the changes. Great job and congrats on the well deserved win. Deb
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Carol -- this is a great take on the prompt! I believe I read an earlier draft of this and really like the changes. Great job and congrats on the well deserved win. Deb
Comment Written 23-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Deb
Thanks for reading and for the comments. I appreciate the review very much. Smiles to you, CArol
Comment from JustBrowsing
This story was full of surprises. Lots of twists and turns. It didn't end quite like I wanted it to but it was an enjoyable story. The story was written clearly and good terminology was used. Good story. Pat
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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This story was full of surprises. Lots of twists and turns. It didn't end quite like I wanted it to but it was an enjoyable story. The story was written clearly and good terminology was used. Good story. Pat
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Pat
I appreciate your kind review and comments. I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. Smiles to you...
Comment from Ponder
Hi,
I thought this was a great story, such a lot going on in such a short story! I thought it was a great twist at the end, I wasn't expecting it, and I always guess the twist!
It is a well written story, nicely balanced and no errors that I saw or anything that I might make a suggestion about.
Good luck with the competition,
Jules
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Hi,
I thought this was a great story, such a lot going on in such a short story! I thought it was a great twist at the end, I wasn't expecting it, and I always guess the twist!
It is a well written story, nicely balanced and no errors that I saw or anything that I might make a suggestion about.
Good luck with the competition,
Jules
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Jules
Thank you for such a kind review and generous comments. I appreciate the time and effort. Smiles to you....
Comment from hletto2
The writing was good, but the story-line was a little to unbelievable for me. It felt like too many 'swoops and turns' for a short story.
If this short story was turned into a novel and the characters were able to be more developed, giving them more depth, I think the believable quality would come more to life.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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The writing was good, but the story-line was a little to unbelievable for me. It felt like too many 'swoops and turns' for a short story.
If this short story was turned into a novel and the characters were able to be more developed, giving them more depth, I think the believable quality would come more to life.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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hletto
Sorry you didn't enjoy the story, but then it was only a story...
Thanks for the review...Smiles to you
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi...I was totally surprised at the ending of this story. Someone once told me that if the author can write a memorable ending it is a sign they are good at their craft. You have certainly displayed that here. The story is well crafted and the characters are believable. Very well done and good luck in the contest.....chey
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Hi...I was totally surprised at the ending of this story. Someone once told me that if the author can write a memorable ending it is a sign they are good at their craft. You have certainly displayed that here. The story is well crafted and the characters are believable. Very well done and good luck in the contest.....chey
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Chey
So glad that you enjoyed the story. The review just before you said it was too unbelievable. Guess that's why there's different stories for everyone. Thanks for the kind review. smiles to you...
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Good grief...there is always someone that takes a negative look at most of what they read!
Comment from ModaStan
Please forgive me for this 'review' and not commenting on your work.
Also, I won't have time to reply.
Today, my best friend and fellow 'Fanstorian' has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is very religious and I am not. I have prayed for her but she needs more.
The only way I can think of is to post a tribute to her on FS as high as possible. Hopefully then she will get the prayers she needs.
Unfortunately, I have no job or money to pay for this and hope to earn FS 'dollars' to do so with this 'pretend review'.
I have no wish to gain ranking or credit, so as long as 'Tom' allows me to, I will post and request no rating - thus gain nothing.
In the meantime, any prayers can't do harm for the sweet Joyce ('jshep')
Thanks for your understanding.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Please forgive me for this 'review' and not commenting on your work.
Also, I won't have time to reply.
Today, my best friend and fellow 'Fanstorian' has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is very religious and I am not. I have prayed for her but she needs more.
The only way I can think of is to post a tribute to her on FS as high as possible. Hopefully then she will get the prayers she needs.
Unfortunately, I have no job or money to pay for this and hope to earn FS 'dollars' to do so with this 'pretend review'.
I have no wish to gain ranking or credit, so as long as 'Tom' allows me to, I will post and request no rating - thus gain nothing.
In the meantime, any prayers can't do harm for the sweet Joyce ('jshep')
Thanks for your understanding.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Moda
Please feel free to continue with my other postings as well. Anything to help...
CArol
Comment from RazberryBullet
Whoa!!!! This certainly had a surprise ending! Nice touch at the beginning: the confession of who's child it really was, etc.
Well done!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Whoa!!!! This certainly had a surprise ending! Nice touch at the beginning: the confession of who's child it really was, etc.
Well done!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Razberry
You seem to keep raising my spirits higher and higher today. Thank you for the kind review. smiles to you.....
Comment from Peeping_Soul
This is very well written.I loved the way you paced your work so that the reader does not lose interest.great write.I am looking forward to read more of your qwork
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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This is very well written.I loved the way you paced your work so that the reader does not lose interest.great write.I am looking forward to read more of your qwork
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Peeping Soul,
I really appreciate the kind review and the encouragement. Thank youu so much. Smiles to you....
Comment from HAWordsmith
LOL Great short story...good hit. Never suspected anything like that, it was a nice surprise. This was well-written and edited well. This was a pleasure to read. Thank you for the posting and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
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LOL Great short story...good hit. Never suspected anything like that, it was a nice surprise. This was well-written and edited well. This was a pleasure to read. Thank you for the posting and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
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HAWordsmith
Wow...Of course you wouldn't be aware of it, but I'm flattered you have reviewed and enjoyed each of my stories tonight. Some are blind like the author (just kidding). Thank you very much for the encouraging review. Smiles to you....