Beneath a Crescent Moon
a minute poem41 total reviews
Comment from littleones
It is an emotional plea, certainly. The image and the notes about weakness bring the image to the forefront of someone praying almost against faith, because the doom is impending.
We know he's been here before and has succumbed to his weakness, and here he is again in the company of his demons. Its insanity he has so little control. He needs to pray. He needs help.
Thank you for the thought-provoking poem. It was well-versed and gave up its image well. I hope so :)
Marea
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
  |
It is an emotional plea, certainly. The image and the notes about weakness bring the image to the forefront of someone praying almost against faith, because the doom is impending.
We know he's been here before and has succumbed to his weakness, and here he is again in the company of his demons. Its insanity he has so little control. He needs to pray. He needs help.
Thank you for the thought-provoking poem. It was well-versed and gave up its image well. I hope so :)
Marea
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
-
Thank you for the very understanding review. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from lawriemac
This fits in with your usual high standard.
The poem itself made me shudder slightly, the wording being so strong.
The poem suggests to me the thoughts of someone who is giving up on life. A depressing thought but a wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
|
This fits in with your usual high standard.
The poem itself made me shudder slightly, the wording being so strong.
The poem suggests to me the thoughts of someone who is giving up on life. A depressing thought but a wonderful poem.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
-
Yes, you caught what I wanted to convey. Thank you so much.
Comment from kchitti
Insanity
has tempted me.
> just because I try and offer suggestions... how about
"Uncertainty
has frozen me"
hope I'm not treading on your toes. this is a new format for me and I found it certainly interesting.
best of luck with the contest. I felt your fear.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
|
Insanity
has tempted me.
> just because I try and offer suggestions... how about
"Uncertainty
has frozen me"
hope I'm not treading on your toes. this is a new format for me and I found it certainly interesting.
best of luck with the contest. I felt your fear.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2008
-
Thanks. I'll consider your suggestion. Thanks again for a good review.
Comment from mamre07
I feel the pain and panic in this poem. It is quite enthralling although it is short. It is like a prayer of a frantic sinner in need of comfort from his demons.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2008
|
I feel the pain and panic in this poem. It is quite enthralling although it is short. It is like a prayer of a frantic sinner in need of comfort from his demons.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2008
-
You "caught" exactly what I wanted to convey.
Comment from angela oiticica
A strong poem, full of sentimentality.
The stanzas and the rhythm of the rhymes shows intensity. The techinique is smooth and in accord with author's notes.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2008
|
A strong poem, full of sentimentality.
The stanzas and the rhythm of the rhymes shows intensity. The techinique is smooth and in accord with author's notes.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2008
-
Yes, because of the shortness of this poem, I wanted it to move slowly. Thanks for a great review.
-
Thanks for answer.
Comment from Diny
WOW you have said a mouthful amd very good things and scary things and imaginative thngs as well- Alvin you never cease to amaze me- Love to come across your work- Blessings and write on-DI
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2008
|
WOW you have said a mouthful amd very good things and scary things and imaginative thngs as well- Alvin you never cease to amaze me- Love to come across your work- Blessings and write on-DI
Comment Written 04-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2008
-
Thank you, as always, for a very kind review.
Comment from mariejames
I do not know this form of poetry well; however, from what I do know, this poem seems to be in perfect form. It's a fun and challenging form of poetry to write.
You've left it wide open for individual interpretation and I've managed to find my own metaphorical meaning.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
|
I do not know this form of poetry well; however, from what I do know, this poem seems to be in perfect form. It's a fun and challenging form of poetry to write.
You've left it wide open for individual interpretation and I've managed to find my own metaphorical meaning.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
-
That's the best kind of writing--where the reader interacts with the work to find her/his metaphorical meaning. Than you so much.
Comment from Janilou
This poem gave me goosebumps. Very powerful work. You have my vote.
Excellent work in every way. I think many of us can relate to the anguish and strong emotion held captive within these lines.
Jan
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
|
This poem gave me goosebumps. Very powerful work. You have my vote.
Excellent work in every way. I think many of us can relate to the anguish and strong emotion held captive within these lines.
Jan
Comment Written 02-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
-
Thank you, Jan. You are always so kind.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Take this away, oh God, I pray.
My feet are clay.
Don't we all experience life with feet of clay at some time or the other. Life's challenges - Amidst the cold, dark, deadly night
I feel such fright. - but I am certain with God's grace we can fight these demons with our will.
Very powerful poem Alvin, I am sure this is a winner. Good luck in the contest.
Happy writing
Sylvia/
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
|
Take this away, oh God, I pray.
My feet are clay.
Don't we all experience life with feet of clay at some time or the other. Life's challenges - Amidst the cold, dark, deadly night
I feel such fright. - but I am certain with God's grace we can fight these demons with our will.
Very powerful poem Alvin, I am sure this is a winner. Good luck in the contest.
Happy writing
Sylvia/
Comment Written 02-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
-
Thanks. You are always so kind, and I greatly appreciate it.
-
It is my pleasure to read your work.
Sylvia
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Alvin,
This poem is thought-provoking. It could cover various aspects of life.
I like the last two lines:
Foul demons take
My soul to break.
(It reminded me of a line that I wrote in one of my poems ...
defying silence in the night)
Thank you for the author's notes. I didn't know that the following line meant:
My feet are clay
(I was wondering about the meaning of this and then I read your most helpful notes)
We all have "feet of clay".
Alvin, I enjoyed this poem. You are very talented.
Keep writing. Regards, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
|
Hello Alvin,
This poem is thought-provoking. It could cover various aspects of life.
I like the last two lines:
Foul demons take
My soul to break.
(It reminded me of a line that I wrote in one of my poems ...
defying silence in the night)
Thank you for the author's notes. I didn't know that the following line meant:
My feet are clay
(I was wondering about the meaning of this and then I read your most helpful notes)
We all have "feet of clay".
Alvin, I enjoyed this poem. You are very talented.
Keep writing. Regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 02-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2008
-
Thank you for a very detailed and kind review.