haiku (inside the cabin)
after the death of his wife32 total reviews
Comment from okiboy
What a very sad and painful feeling. I imagined the person who lost his only true love. Countless nights spent in that cabin together. She will never be around... never. Very well done. The feeling came rushing immediately upon reading the poem. Very well done.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2008
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What a very sad and painful feeling. I imagined the person who lost his only true love. Countless nights spent in that cabin together. She will never be around... never. Very well done. The feeling came rushing immediately upon reading the poem. Very well done.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2008
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Thanks. I appreciate it when a Japanese person likes my work in a form uniquely Japanese (although written in English.) You have a much better cultural understanding than a Westerner of this particular from. So this review means a lot to me. Thank you.
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi Alvin. Great write with a fitting picture. So this can be considered as a haiku too? All the while I thought it's only about nature. Have to be more informed on this, I guess. Best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008
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Hi Alvin. Great write with a fitting picture. So this can be considered as a haiku too? All the while I thought it's only about nature. Have to be more informed on this, I guess. Best wishes to you.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2008
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Yes, there are three categories of haiku not about nature. For clarification, see the article in my portfolio called "Haiku are not about counting syllables." Thanks for a great review.
Comment from jshep
Very well done and well presented. What I like most about this work is the reader can feel the emotion and the story behind the words. Excellent job.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Very well done and well presented. What I like most about this work is the reader can feel the emotion and the story behind the words. Excellent job.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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yes, that is what I wanted convey. Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from bard owl
It is easier to face the death of a loved one when constant reminders are not around to rouse the feelings of loss. Your haiku is quite thought-provoking and an excellent contest entry. Best of luck to you. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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It is easier to face the death of a loved one when constant reminders are not around to rouse the feelings of loss. Your haiku is quite thought-provoking and an excellent contest entry. Best of luck to you. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 01-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Yes, you caught exactly what I wanted to convey. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Annmuma
What a poignant piece! the picture and the verse worked together to paint the perfect mental picture. Good luck in the contest. ann
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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What a poignant piece! the picture and the verse worked together to paint the perfect mental picture. Good luck in the contest. ann
Comment Written 01-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Thanks. I took the picture, as well. He's a good model to work with. Thanks for the great review.
Comment from heyjude
Alvin,
What a poignant word picture for this haiku contest, a picture
of grief and how a place can bring the images of a loved one to mind. Good luck on the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Alvin,
What a poignant word picture for this haiku contest, a picture
of grief and how a place can bring the images of a loved one to mind. Good luck on the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Thanks. You "caught" exactly what I wanted to convey.
Comment from Irrelevant
Alvin, this is a touching write. You capture the grief that lingers in these few words very well. Nothing left for it sometimes then to leave the places where memory is too much. Well done. I am sorry for your loss.
Scott
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Alvin, this is a touching write. You capture the grief that lingers in these few words very well. Nothing left for it sometimes then to leave the places where memory is too much. Well done. I am sorry for your loss.
Scott
Comment Written 31-May-2008
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Don't worry. This is not about me personally--it is fiction. Thanks for the good review.
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That is a relief...whew.
Scott
Comment from Adam Smith
This is classic Alvin. Nicely done, saying so much with so few words. There is such a human element, and the way you brought nature in, by having the grieving head outside... very slick. Adam
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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This is classic Alvin. Nicely done, saying so much with so few words. There is such a human element, and the way you brought nature in, by having the grieving head outside... very slick. Adam
Comment Written 31-May-2008
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2008
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Thanks. I trust you mean "slick" in the non-pejorative sense of the word! SMILE....Thanks for a good review.
Comment from S.Yocom
Alvin, this is a heartbreaking little poem. It must have been very difficult to write. The death of a loved one is always hard. You conveyed your feelings with great emotion. Beautiful.
Sally
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2008
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Alvin, this is a heartbreaking little poem. It must have been very difficult to write. The death of a loved one is always hard. You conveyed your feelings with great emotion. Beautiful.
Sally
Comment Written 08-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2008
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Yes, although this is fiction, it was difficult to write. It took me about three months to come up with the idea for the photograph, and then after I shot it to "get" the poem just right. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Morning Glory
Good poem. Expresses the age old problem of missing the spouse unbearably inside the home that has been the intimate castle of love. It is especially more bearable outside,
Excellent writing, Enjoyable and touching poem, __Morning Glory
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2008
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Good poem. Expresses the age old problem of missing the spouse unbearably inside the home that has been the intimate castle of love. It is especially more bearable outside,
Excellent writing, Enjoyable and touching poem, __Morning Glory
Comment Written 07-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2008
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You truly understood the meaning of the picture and poem. Thank you so much.