Reviews from

Merry Christmas

An Unexpected Surprise

18 total reviews 
Comment from Rene Tyo
Excellent
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An all too real scenario that played out on Christmas eve. This is a great reminder that trust has to be a two way street. Also, that money is not the most important thing in any relationship. Well done story, I hope it fares well if its a contest entry.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2025

Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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This experience would certainly make a disappointing, but memorable Christmas Eve. Your story is well paced, leading to the inevitable. A husband is trying his best to please his wife, while his wife is trying her best to please herself. Her stocking should be filled with coal.

Congratulations on your well-deserved win.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2025

Comment from Elias Noor
Excellent
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This narrative is engaging and emotionally impactful, effectively building tension and leading to a shocking conclusion. The writing flows smoothly, and the dialogue feels natural, drawing the reader into the emotional conflict between the narrator and Sophia. The gradual escalation of mistrust and the eventual betrayal are well-paced and compelling.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2025

Comment from tempeste
Excellent
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Ciao you now have 10 votes!

Ouch. That must hurt. Having one's trust smashed is devastating. Especially in love.

He accepted an assignment in another country to earn more money so both could later enjoy it.

Men are not the only ones who cheat. Generally speaking, women these days are not as loyal and devoted as back in the day.

And this one even questioned her husband's fidelity when she was fooling around herself. And in their bed. Yuk.

I wouldn't be surprised if she blamed him for the affair because he left her for weeks alone.

The narrative flowed well.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2025

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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I kind of thought that's what might happen but you kept up the uncertainty throughout, not least with the image and the wife's allegations. Your flash is clearly written with just one edit: I would still be able (to get) home.. An excellent entry. Well done and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2025

Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I think that could be the worst shock ever, to come home on Christmas Eve, and find one's 'life' partner in bed doing something thst we all dread seeing, now that would be a real shock, well done, good luck, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2025

Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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The Pot calling the Kettle Black.... One shouldn't accuse when one is not playing the game fairly. Not a good thing to ever discover but especially on Christmas Eve, Well written.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2025

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
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Distance does not make the heart grow fonder. She told you she could not bear being alone. Some people are like that. I have never been that way. I would do my stuff while you were gone, and when you came home, I would have saved all that time for us. But, that stuff has to be heavily discussed and agreed to. A lot of people get married without knowing each other. And, seem suprised when it doesn't work out. Good writing. Karen

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2025

Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Excellent
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This is a very sad story. It's too bad that you are working so hard to give your wife extra things only to walk in and find that. I bet you were heartbroken. Or should I say your friends were heartbroken. The ultimate sin.

Well done and good luck in the contest.

Cecilia

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2025

Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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This kind of betrayal leaves a permanent scar on our heart and you told the story here with some well chosen lines to drive home the point, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2025