Always the One
Both of their dreams did come true.4 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
An excellent romantic entry for the contest. Your well-written story was a pleasure to read. It evolved gradually and credibly from their reunion, included excellent dialogue and was concluded with a satisfying ending. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Though years both had married...? (Over the years?)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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An excellent romantic entry for the contest. Your well-written story was a pleasure to read. It evolved gradually and credibly from their reunion, included excellent dialogue and was concluded with a satisfying ending. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Though years both had married...? (Over the years?)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Appreciated. I will edit.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
I found my true love appeared. We has each been divorced. I had a young adult child out of my home. My husband had no children. We met and were engaged in 4 months. Married within 5. We're married 12 1/2 years now. Your story was well written and hit home for me.
Peace,
Alex
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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I found my true love appeared. We has each been divorced. I had a young adult child out of my home. My husband had no children. We met and were engaged in 4 months. Married within 5. We're married 12 1/2 years now. Your story was well written and hit home for me.
Peace,
Alex
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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You too have a wonderful story. All the best for all the years to come.
Thanks for the read and the six star honor.
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You're welcome. Thank you!
Comment from Lana Marie
Beautiful story of a young love getting a second chance at loving one another again. That happens often at school reunions. Good luck in the contest. Happy New Year!
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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Beautiful story of a young love getting a second chance at loving one another again. That happens often at school reunions. Good luck in the contest. Happy New Year!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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Thanks for the read and review. Happy New Year. May it be safe and wonderful.
Comment from lancellot
It's good, and I think the voters will like the idea of getting a second chance at romance with an old flame. I would suggest looking it over for editing. It may be a bit predictable and safe. But, FS likes that sort of thing. Good luck.
notes:
But, still he {wonder} about the friends that he had lost touch over the years.
-wondered
The three of them were like {triples} as they negotiated their high school years together.
-triplets
the girl way back when he thought might be the one.
-the girl he thought might be the one.
The reunion took place in the high school gymnasium,
-Better, if you show the time skip or transition from him sitting at his desk, to attending the reunion.
In a corner of the gym, Cathy stood sipping a white wine...
-In a paragraph, you don't want more than one character speaking or acting. You have Cathy and Jeff's actions.
"{Cathy?"} Saying her name, he sensed a glow he hadn't felt in years.
-change to: Cathy. No question, as you just told us he knew it was her.
Hey, remember, we carved our initials.
- a bit cliche
"Yes, I made the mistake once of letting you go years ago.
-Wait. Did she just tell Jeff, No time to think about the past and so on?
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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It's good, and I think the voters will like the idea of getting a second chance at romance with an old flame. I would suggest looking it over for editing. It may be a bit predictable and safe. But, FS likes that sort of thing. Good luck.
notes:
But, still he {wonder} about the friends that he had lost touch over the years.
-wondered
The three of them were like {triples} as they negotiated their high school years together.
-triplets
the girl way back when he thought might be the one.
-the girl he thought might be the one.
The reunion took place in the high school gymnasium,
-Better, if you show the time skip or transition from him sitting at his desk, to attending the reunion.
In a corner of the gym, Cathy stood sipping a white wine...
-In a paragraph, you don't want more than one character speaking or acting. You have Cathy and Jeff's actions.
"{Cathy?"} Saying her name, he sensed a glow he hadn't felt in years.
-change to: Cathy. No question, as you just told us he knew it was her.
Hey, remember, we carved our initials.
- a bit cliche
"Yes, I made the mistake once of letting you go years ago.
-Wait. Did she just tell Jeff, No time to think about the past and so on?
Comment Written 31-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2025
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Thank you for helping me with my editing. I can't believe I missed so many things. I will get to it right away.
