Billy and Tubby's Night Out
Two boys set out to Trick-or-Treat29 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Hurray for posting something Ric! It's been too long! This is a departure for you and belies what we have always known... you are a softie, with a heart as big as "all outdoors," and a story such as this is in excellent hands!
Tubby and Billy are already embedded into my consciousness. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Hurray for posting something Ric! It's been too long! This is a departure for you and belies what we have always known... you are a softie, with a heart as big as "all outdoors," and a story such as this is in excellent hands!
Tubby and Billy are already embedded into my consciousness. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Karenina
Comment Written 05-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Oh, Karenina, my dear, I'm so happy to see your review, but please don't tell anyone what you've just said and spoil my image. I learned at an early age that if I showed a soft side, the bullies would kick sand in my face. So, I learned to bet their butts before they had a chance. As I said in this story: "Fear is the greatest deterrent to man or beast." And I added the quotes because I don't know if someone's said it or not. I'm never totally happy until I get your review. I appreciate YOU!
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BIG SMILES...
You're the toughest "Teddy Bear" I know!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Ric it's great to seeing you back. I know I got the sequence out of order but that didn't impaired my enjoyment of the story.
Actually, the colour white is seen as the colour of mourning in Europe as well. In Denmark as other countries here white flowers are used at funerals. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Hi Ric it's great to seeing you back. I know I got the sequence out of order but that didn't impaired my enjoyment of the story.
Actually, the colour white is seen as the colour of mourning in Europe as well. In Denmark as other countries here white flowers are used at funerals. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 05-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Ulla, for taking time out to go back and read the first chapter. I apologize for posting two at the same time, something I never do. But already late for Halloween, I couldn't wait another week. Thanks for the information. It's amazing how much we assume things are the same around the world, which sometimes causes me, and others to say or do the wrong things. I appreciate YOU, the generous review, and kind words!
Comment from Jim Wile
Great start to this new story, Ric. Grabbed my attention right away. A nice introduction to your two main characters--the forlorn and pitiable Tubby and the spirited, loyal, and seemingly fearless Billy.
This was an excellent sentence: "Tubby's loving grandfather, the driver, died more from guilt, than his injuries." In just a few words you described the tragedy that befell him and Tubby, which was probably caused by carelessness on grandfather's part.
This brought to mind an incident when I was a young father but luckily escaped a similar fate with my 6-year-old son. We were horsing around, and I was carrying him upside down by his ankles. We were going down a flight of stairs, and I was in my stockinged feet. When we got safely to the bottom, I realized how foolish that was because, if I had slipped, he might have fallen on his head, and I might have fallen on him, which could have caused a tragedy like a broken neck. I even realized this myself without my wife chastising me about it, and I wised up big time after that.
There were so many neat parts to this chapter. I loved the humor of the old drunk drinking from the bottle containing piss. You made me feel for poor Billy who was trying to do the right thing by not letting his father drive in his inebriated state, but getting thrown into juvie anyway. And, of course, it's so sad what Tubby has become through no fault of his own.
This was good writing, and I'm looking forward to seeing how Billy solves the problem of getting Tubby outside trick-or-treating.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Great start to this new story, Ric. Grabbed my attention right away. A nice introduction to your two main characters--the forlorn and pitiable Tubby and the spirited, loyal, and seemingly fearless Billy.
This was an excellent sentence: "Tubby's loving grandfather, the driver, died more from guilt, than his injuries." In just a few words you described the tragedy that befell him and Tubby, which was probably caused by carelessness on grandfather's part.
This brought to mind an incident when I was a young father but luckily escaped a similar fate with my 6-year-old son. We were horsing around, and I was carrying him upside down by his ankles. We were going down a flight of stairs, and I was in my stockinged feet. When we got safely to the bottom, I realized how foolish that was because, if I had slipped, he might have fallen on his head, and I might have fallen on him, which could have caused a tragedy like a broken neck. I even realized this myself without my wife chastising me about it, and I wised up big time after that.
There were so many neat parts to this chapter. I loved the humor of the old drunk drinking from the bottle containing piss. You made me feel for poor Billy who was trying to do the right thing by not letting his father drive in his inebriated state, but getting thrown into juvie anyway. And, of course, it's so sad what Tubby has become through no fault of his own.
This was good writing, and I'm looking forward to seeing how Billy solves the problem of getting Tubby outside trick-or-treating.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Jim, for your kind words and generous review. It's always a pleasure when talented writers with busy schedules and loaded inboxes take time out to read my foolishness. Yes, you and your son were lucky you didn't slip on the steps, which goes to show that even loving and normally cautious parents have momentary lapses in judgement. Looking back, I know I've had my share too. I hope there were some lessons learned in this story, but the biggest lessons is for Tubby's mother in the second chapter. I can't thank you enough for the wonderful and detailed review. It's greatly appreciated!
Comment from ShawnaGG44
I like this story I have read all of them now and have enjoyed everyone. The stories are heartbreaking and yet heartwarming at the same time the writer has easily kept me interested will everyone of the stories seems to have a special knack for writing kept up the amazing work and give us some more wonderful stories please.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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I like this story I have read all of them now and have enjoyed everyone. The stories are heartbreaking and yet heartwarming at the same time the writer has easily kept me interested will everyone of the stories seems to have a special knack for writing kept up the amazing work and give us some more wonderful stories please.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Shawna, for your generous review and kind words. I was just trying to write something different than the typical scary Halloween story. I'm so glad you liked it and took time to read and share your comments. I appreciate your encouraging review!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I thought I had another six left. I'm so sorry, Ric. This story really tugs at my heart. I do hope Billy 'escapes' and gets to take Tubby out for Halloween. Both boys need each other. I don't know who my heart goes out to most, it has to be both boys. I have just seen you have posted part two, I have to go and read it now. Your writing never fails to move me. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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I thought I had another six left. I'm so sorry, Ric. This story really tugs at my heart. I do hope Billy 'escapes' and gets to take Tubby out for Halloween. Both boys need each other. I don't know who my heart goes out to most, it has to be both boys. I have just seen you have posted part two, I have to go and read it now. Your writing never fails to move me. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Sandra, for another kind and wonderful review that prods this old hack to keep scratching. LOL. If it weren't for the generous and encouraging words like yours, I would have given up writing a long time ago. I appreciate YOU always! A big ol' bear hug back at ya!
Comment from Sally Law
He's back!! Fabulous chapter in Ric Myworld style. Not a nit could be found in this heart-wretching story. I can't stand bullies! I hope for better times for these young friends. A six it is!
Sending along my very best today as always.
Sal :))
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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He's back!! Fabulous chapter in Ric Myworld style. Not a nit could be found in this heart-wretching story. I can't stand bullies! I hope for better times for these young friends. A six it is!
Sending along my very best today as always.
Sal :))
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Sal, for your kind and generous review and for always putting a smile on my face, whether it's reading your wonderful writing, getting your reviews, or just knowing there's hope in this world. I appreciate you always!
Comment from Tim Margetts
Looking forward to seeing how this develops.
A great start to the story and I am sure that this resourceful lad will find a way.
Thanks for this.
Tim
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Looking forward to seeing how this develops.
A great start to the story and I am sure that this resourceful lad will find a way.
Thanks for this.
Tim
Comment Written 04-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Tim, for your kind words and generous review. I posted chapter two a minute ago and I hope it too will entertain you. This is way outside my comfort zone. Just wanted to do something a little different. Hope you enjoy and I certainly appreciate you taking time away from your writing to read it. Much appreciated!
Comment from lyenochka
Billy is one of a kind - truly optimistic and caring for others despite having all kinds of horrible things happen to him! Hope his dad gets off the alcohol. Does he even have a mom? I know he'll think up something that will help both Tubby and himself.
Loved your descriptions throughout as in "swung his legs up scissoring his shanks around it, and methodically worked his way back to the tree's trunk and shimmied to the ground."
Suggestion:
"horses' were given (horses) just plural, no apostrophe for possession
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Billy is one of a kind - truly optimistic and caring for others despite having all kinds of horrible things happen to him! Hope his dad gets off the alcohol. Does he even have a mom? I know he'll think up something that will help both Tubby and himself.
Loved your descriptions throughout as in "swung his legs up scissoring his shanks around it, and methodically worked his way back to the tree's trunk and shimmied to the ground."
Suggestion:
"horses' were given (horses) just plural, no apostrophe for possession
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Helene, for your kind and generous six-star review. This is a outside my comfort zone, but I wanted to try something a little different. Although, my slang riddled choppy way of saying things sort of makes everything sound the same. LOL. Words cannot express my gratitude for your continued kindness and support! I appreciate YOU!
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You're so welcome, Ric! And you have really showed us your talent with this one!
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Thank you so much, Helene. I'm just glad you liked it!
Comment from Julie Helms
Ric, this is a wonderful and engaging story. You develop the characters and give us a good sense of the relationship between the two boys.
I have a couple suggestions:
Often, he described his torturous solitude, *and* an eerie screeching of a solo violin
(I'm not sure...do you mean 'as an eerie screeching'?)
A long, raggedy coat, sleeves hanging to his fingertips...
(This long sentence has no verb)
"Horse sense-The sense horses' were given
(No apostrophe. It's just plural horses.)
Great story, and I look forward to the next installment!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Ric, this is a wonderful and engaging story. You develop the characters and give us a good sense of the relationship between the two boys.
I have a couple suggestions:
Often, he described his torturous solitude, *and* an eerie screeching of a solo violin
(I'm not sure...do you mean 'as an eerie screeching'?)
A long, raggedy coat, sleeves hanging to his fingertips...
(This long sentence has no verb)
"Horse sense-The sense horses' were given
(No apostrophe. It's just plural horses.)
Great story, and I look forward to the next installment!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Julie, for your kind words, generous review, and suggestions. It's always a pleasure when talented folks I enjoy reading regularly, spend their valuable time reading my foolishness. The first thing you brought to my attention was just supposed to be "and," separating solitude, and adding the eerie violin. And of course, I just knew I'd written "wearing" to start the other long sentence. LOL. The other flub up on "horses," was just that, "a flub up." I make tons of mistakes. Partly because I write really fast and hate to edit and take all the fun out of the experience. And mostly, because I barely know a noun from a verb when I get right down to it. Thank you again, and your encouragement is great appreciated!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Ric.
As I've consistently mentioned regarding your writing, its power lies in your capacity and willingness to depict the story instead of narrating it. Your detailed storytelling paints vivid pictures in the reader's mind. This Halloween story is unique as it focuses on two boys wanting to spend time together, rather than traditional spooky elements. That's a much better story. Way to go.
ZIM
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Hey Ric.
As I've consistently mentioned regarding your writing, its power lies in your capacity and willingness to depict the story instead of narrating it. Your detailed storytelling paints vivid pictures in the reader's mind. This Halloween story is unique as it focuses on two boys wanting to spend time together, rather than traditional spooky elements. That's a much better story. Way to go.
ZIM
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Zim, it's always a treat to see your name pop up, whether on the writing end, or the reviewing side. My last Halloween piece was a scary post, so this year I wanted to put a little real life in and hope to offer up some different emotions. I hope it works. Glad to have you back on site, and every day with you my friend is a pleasure! Much appreciated!
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You're welcome and thanks for your kind words too.
ZIM