Hotoke
A free verse25 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Sounds great, But FanStory is the only place I would be willing to play in snow. I was reminded of how I will often find poems that I have written in the past and revive them, posting them here.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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Sounds great, But FanStory is the only place I would be willing to play in snow. I was reminded of how I will often find poems that I have written in the past and revive them, posting them here.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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Thank you nomi and I hope your doing well.
I'm glad you liked my poem.
Luv&stuff
Katherine
Comment from Frank Malley
I am grieved to hear of your circumstances. Platitudes do not suffice to reinforce our psyches as we age. This is an exceptional poem that features profound contrasts between inevitable and beautiful experience and magnificent and direly needed imagination. May you thrive as you can. I hope you find an easier way to write than on a phone.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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I am grieved to hear of your circumstances. Platitudes do not suffice to reinforce our psyches as we age. This is an exceptional poem that features profound contrasts between inevitable and beautiful experience and magnificent and direly needed imagination. May you thrive as you can. I hope you find an easier way to write than on a phone.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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Thanks so very much Frank for your lovely comments and super review!
Luv&stuff
Katherine
Comment from gansach
This is a lovely entry for the Free Verse Poem competition. The artwork is stark and beautiful in its simplicity. Nice presentation and I like the poem's construct very much. Great imagination and imagery. Well done!
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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This is a lovely entry for the Free Verse Poem competition. The artwork is stark and beautiful in its simplicity. Nice presentation and I like the poem's construct very much. Great imagination and imagery. Well done!
Comment Written 01-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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Thanks so very much for reviewing gansach!
Luv&stuff
Katherine
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this free verse poem. The author notes were extremely interesting. I enjoyed the references to origami.
Little fix:
Embelishing the heavens
I am sure you meant: Embellishing
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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I liked reading this free verse poem. The author notes were extremely interesting. I enjoyed the references to origami.
Little fix:
Embelishing the heavens
I am sure you meant: Embellishing
Comment Written 01-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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Thanks so very much for your review and catching that typo. I really appreciate it.
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
Comment from Jasmine Girl
You did fine using your phone. What a simple yet calming and beautiful free verse. I like the personification and alliteration you used in this poem. The phrase "origami sky" is so creative and unique.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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You did fine using your phone. What a simple yet calming and beautiful free verse. I like the personification and alliteration you used in this poem. The phrase "origami sky" is so creative and unique.
Excellent.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2024
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Thanks so much for your lovely comments and review Jasmine Girl!
Luv&stuff
Katherine
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hmmm. This one quite perplexes me, I have to say. I've read it many, many times now, and I still just don't get it.
I understand, from your Author's Notes, that it's referring to a dead person, so I THINK that means that dead person's spirit is making cloud shapes?
"Origami sky" makes no sense to me, either, I'm sorry to say, since a sky would be flat and shapeless - the antithesis of origami.
I really liked the first line a LOT. My first thought, after reading it, was, "Oh, I'm going to love this! I can tell already." But then your next words were "over dirt," which really gave me pause as I pictured them hovering. Wouldn't they be "in" dirt? And then I tried reckoning them with your next words "white/winter sky" and my consternation grew.
So, I'm sorry, Katiemae; but I failed miserably with the reading comprehension part of this post. I do, however, absolutely love your choice of artwork. xo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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Hmmm. This one quite perplexes me, I have to say. I've read it many, many times now, and I still just don't get it.
I understand, from your Author's Notes, that it's referring to a dead person, so I THINK that means that dead person's spirit is making cloud shapes?
"Origami sky" makes no sense to me, either, I'm sorry to say, since a sky would be flat and shapeless - the antithesis of origami.
I really liked the first line a LOT. My first thought, after reading it, was, "Oh, I'm going to love this! I can tell already." But then your next words were "over dirt," which really gave me pause as I pictured them hovering. Wouldn't they be "in" dirt? And then I tried reckoning them with your next words "white/winter sky" and my consternation grew.
So, I'm sorry, Katiemae; but I failed miserably with the reading comprehension part of this post. I do, however, absolutely love your choice of artwork. xo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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I'm sorry Rachelle that you didn't quite get this. I don't know what to say except perhaps to read some of the other reviews. I'll admit it different but it's free verse. Perhaps you ate more comfortable with rhyme and meter.
Don't apologize and don't say you failed. Neither one of us did. It is what it is I guess. I appreciate you taking the time to explain your veiw.
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
Comment from papa55mike
I love the lack of color in this poem, only monochrome. But Pandas and Dragons are setting forth. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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I love the lack of color in this poem, only monochrome. But Pandas and Dragons are setting forth. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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Thanks so very much Pappa. Your review is much appreciated.
Have a great week!
Luv&stuff
Katherine
Comment from Laurie Holding
Wow, you definitely get my six stars today! This is breathtakingly beautiful, stark and brief like a winter's day. I loved your choice in words...loved the sacred bird, your origami sky, such incredible imagery! This one made my day. Thank you!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Wow, you definitely get my six stars today! This is breathtakingly beautiful, stark and brief like a winter's day. I loved your choice in words...loved the sacred bird, your origami sky, such incredible imagery! This one made my day. Thank you!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Thanks so very much Laurie for your lovely comments and super review. I'm thrilled and honored.
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hello Katiemae!
Oh wow! This is phenomenal! I did not expect this at all. I'm glad I have a 6-star handy. Let me see ... where do I start?
---I will start with the shape of the poem. I have written some shape poems myself, and I know you did this intentionally because of the way you used your line-breaks. It works out so beautifully! It could be an arrowhead, or a Christmas ornament, or a flower vase. It's so clever that in your poem about origami you actually make a shape out of the poem itself. Brilliant!
---Your language in this poem is spectacular and so evocative! I hesitate to pull out my favorites, because EVERYTHING is my favorite.
---"Black trees like silhouette cut outs/over dirt/white/winter sky" --This introduction to the poem is PERFECT! It rolls off the tongue in pleasing rhythm and your use of the alliterative "w" does so much! And I love the contrast of "dirt" and "white." I can tell that you are an advanced poet with your subtle use of rare conventions like contrast and oxymoron.
---"I can crease and tear them/to roll across my origami sky" --It's here where the meaning of your poem solidifies for the reader. Here is where we realize that the mention of a "bear" and "bird" clicks into place and we understand what your narrator is doing.
I had an origami kit once and spent almost a month at work making shapes according to the guide. I remember how much I enjoyed this activity and would love to find the time to do it again. But alas, I ALSO have peripheral neuropathy due to my Type II Diabetes, and I can barely type sometimes. I'm not sure I would have the feeling and precision in my hands for origami again. But who knows! Maybe I will try again. Your poem has inspired me!
I LOVE this poem! It is one of my favorites of all the poems I have read since joining FanStory earlier this month. I am going to bookcase this so I have easy access to it. Do you mind if I reference your poem in some of my future reviews? I would always give you full credit for it if I did choose to use it. Please let me know if you would rather I not, though. It's up to you!
You have strummed a pleasing chord on that part of me that loves poetry, and I thank you for it. Well done!
Patrick
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Hello Katiemae!
Oh wow! This is phenomenal! I did not expect this at all. I'm glad I have a 6-star handy. Let me see ... where do I start?
---I will start with the shape of the poem. I have written some shape poems myself, and I know you did this intentionally because of the way you used your line-breaks. It works out so beautifully! It could be an arrowhead, or a Christmas ornament, or a flower vase. It's so clever that in your poem about origami you actually make a shape out of the poem itself. Brilliant!
---Your language in this poem is spectacular and so evocative! I hesitate to pull out my favorites, because EVERYTHING is my favorite.
---"Black trees like silhouette cut outs/over dirt/white/winter sky" --This introduction to the poem is PERFECT! It rolls off the tongue in pleasing rhythm and your use of the alliterative "w" does so much! And I love the contrast of "dirt" and "white." I can tell that you are an advanced poet with your subtle use of rare conventions like contrast and oxymoron.
---"I can crease and tear them/to roll across my origami sky" --It's here where the meaning of your poem solidifies for the reader. Here is where we realize that the mention of a "bear" and "bird" clicks into place and we understand what your narrator is doing.
I had an origami kit once and spent almost a month at work making shapes according to the guide. I remember how much I enjoyed this activity and would love to find the time to do it again. But alas, I ALSO have peripheral neuropathy due to my Type II Diabetes, and I can barely type sometimes. I'm not sure I would have the feeling and precision in my hands for origami again. But who knows! Maybe I will try again. Your poem has inspired me!
I LOVE this poem! It is one of my favorites of all the poems I have read since joining FanStory earlier this month. I am going to bookcase this so I have easy access to it. Do you mind if I reference your poem in some of my future reviews? I would always give you full credit for it if I did choose to use it. Please let me know if you would rather I not, though. It's up to you!
You have strummed a pleasing chord on that part of me that loves poetry, and I thank you for it. Well done!
Patrick
Comment Written 26-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Hi Patrick
Thanks ever had much for your lovely comments and super review. I'm glad it inspired you so much
I wrote this in college in 1982 in a poetry class. I just found it amongst some old papers. You can certainly use it for future reviews.
So happy the poem resonated with you.
Take cars,
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
Comment from Nicki.B
This is a beautiful free verse poem.
I love the imagery that you brought through the trees and the clouds.
It was a very enjoyable read
Well done and good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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This is a beautiful free verse poem.
I love the imagery that you brought through the trees and the clouds.
It was a very enjoyable read
Well done and good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 25-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024
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Thanks so very much Nicki!