The Black Orchid
When you're out of balance...32 total reviews
Comment from Jacob1395
That was a horrific ending. I could really feel the horror Howie was going through and I hated his brother for getting him involved in this mess in the first place, when it was clear to see that Howie was a good guy and wanted to live his life in peace. I thought it was a well written piece.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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That was a horrific ending. I could really feel the horror Howie was going through and I hated his brother for getting him involved in this mess in the first place, when it was clear to see that Howie was a good guy and wanted to live his life in peace. I thought it was a well written piece.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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I based it on some noir films. One in particular, THE BROTHERS RICO, was an influence.
Comment from Mia Twysted
I was captivated. You brought me right into the story. I gasped when the final scene went down. Found myself wanting to reach out to save them knowing there was nothing I can do. And leaving the reader up in the air about what will happen to that little boy tears at my heart.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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I was captivated. You brought me right into the story. I gasped when the final scene went down. Found myself wanting to reach out to save them knowing there was nothing I can do. And leaving the reader up in the air about what will happen to that little boy tears at my heart.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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I'm so glad you came along for the trip! Hope I can continue to evoke your emotions as I am spending most of these latter days trying my best to improve the amount and variety of my writing.
Comment from BermyBye50
Jim,
In my opinion this is the winning entry in the A Day of Woe contest. Your story is brilliantly crafted and draws the reader into the lives of the brothers capturing a myriad of emotions. Your characters are superbly written and the tragic ending to the story leaves one heartbroken.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Jim,
In my opinion this is the winning entry in the A Day of Woe contest. Your story is brilliantly crafted and draws the reader into the lives of the brothers capturing a myriad of emotions. Your characters are superbly written and the tragic ending to the story leaves one heartbroken.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Many thanks and many blessings to you!
Comment from Judith B.
Powerfully written and tragic. It grabbed my attention and kept me reading even though I rarely choose to read writings with graphic violence. It was a tragic relationship with a tragic ending for all concerned. Except Chen Yoo. I have to wonder if justice ever prevailed for anyone in the story. Will there be more of this story? Your writing grabs the reader and never lets go and that is a gift. I like the sparse style of your writing.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Powerfully written and tragic. It grabbed my attention and kept me reading even though I rarely choose to read writings with graphic violence. It was a tragic relationship with a tragic ending for all concerned. Except Chen Yoo. I have to wonder if justice ever prevailed for anyone in the story. Will there be more of this story? Your writing grabs the reader and never lets go and that is a gift. I like the sparse style of your writing.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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It's too soon for sequel but i would love to revisit those tht survived somehow someday.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
How this ended from where it began is a mystery. Had you been conspiring in your mind to write such a noir piece? Is there more to come, or is this a one and done?
My favorite line - Chen Yoo knew, and he knew that I knew,
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How this ended from where it began is a mystery. Had you been conspiring in your mind to write such a noir piece? Is there more to come, or is this a one and done?
My favorite line - Chen Yoo knew, and he knew that I knew,
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Very sad story, and sometimes one moment of greed equals with a one-way ticket to "heaven". Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Very sad story, and sometimes one moment of greed equals with a one-way ticket to "heaven". Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your very kind words!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Goodness!! You have an amazing imagination, Jim. that poor family, and to think there are many Chen Yoo's in the world, doing this for real. This really caught my attention, all the way down the page, hoping that Howie could be left in peace. If it had been his brother who'd been shot, I'd have said, good! Very well done, excellent writing and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. :) Sandra ( 1 error below)
I left quietly, hoping that time would blot out (out) our differences
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Goodness!! You have an amazing imagination, Jim. that poor family, and to think there are many Chen Yoo's in the world, doing this for real. This really caught my attention, all the way down the page, hoping that Howie could be left in peace. If it had been his brother who'd been shot, I'd have said, good! Very well done, excellent writing and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. :) Sandra ( 1 error below)
I left quietly, hoping that time would blot out (out) our differences
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks. I'll fix the error and I appreciate your writing!
Comment from Sarita Méndez
A well written story, that keeps the mystery of the ending until the end.
I'm a little bit sad for the poor Howie, but this kind of things must happen much more often than one think in real life, and the big brother's regrets won't do anything for his little brother...
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A well written story, that keeps the mystery of the ending until the end.
I'm a little bit sad for the poor Howie, but this kind of things must happen much more often than one think in real life, and the big brother's regrets won't do anything for his little brother...
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
Comment from Terry Broxson
Dang, Jim, this is most definitely a day of woe. In fact, this guy's life was a life of woe. I had to go back and look, but we never knew his name. I don't think his name is important, other than the fact that Chen and Studs were pretty cool names for crooks, so you might consider one more.
Good luck in the contest. Terry.
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Dang, Jim, this is most definitely a day of woe. In fact, this guy's life was a life of woe. I had to go back and look, but we never knew his name. I don't think his name is important, other than the fact that Chen and Studs were pretty cool names for crooks, so you might consider one more.
Good luck in the contest. Terry.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I don't even know what to say, lol! This was depressing from beginning to end, and, of course, the end was predictable.
It fits the contest's theme - plenty of woes here! Since it will be judged by the committee, I would go through it and give it a final edit. Some technical errors can easily be fixed.
You've given your characters some great names. Good luck in the contest.
Pam
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I don't even know what to say, lol! This was depressing from beginning to end, and, of course, the end was predictable.
It fits the contest's theme - plenty of woes here! Since it will be judged by the committee, I would go through it and give it a final edit. Some technical errors can easily be fixed.
You've given your characters some great names. Good luck in the contest.
Pam
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023