Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Charon Comes Late"Musings of an old man - 2022
25 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good sonnet and has all the parameters a sonnet is supposed to have. The praise, the question, and the conclusion. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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This is a good sonnet and has all the parameters a sonnet is supposed to have. The praise, the question, and the conclusion. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Thank you, may you enjoy this weekend to its highest and best experience/
Comment from Wendy G
This is a well written poem. I am not sure if it is a sonnet as it seems too long for a traditional sonnet. Nevertheless, it is very well written with the Greek mythology well woven in. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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This is a well written poem. I am not sure if it is a sonnet as it seems too long for a traditional sonnet. Nevertheless, it is very well written with the Greek mythology well woven in. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Hello Wendy, in the author's notes I pointed out that this is known as a Heroic Sonnet,
containing the following format:
abab cdcd efef ghgh ii
With rhythm: xX xX xX xX xX
Line/Poem Length: 18
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Oh I must have missed that. Apologies.
Wendy
Comment from jake cosmos aller
very powerful poem addressing Charon and the ancient Gods asking for their intervention in this sinful dark world we find ourselves in. Nicely done sonnet.
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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very powerful poem addressing Charon and the ancient Gods asking for their intervention in this sinful dark world we find ourselves in. Nicely done sonnet.
Comment Written 27-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Thanks Jake
Comment from Gloria ....
J, you have done a fine job with this sonnet. Your metre is excellent, and rhymes fresh as you move the plot forward.
This is a poem of great depth, with vivid imagery, and emotion.
I hope you write many more, because this is a fine read. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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J, you have done a fine job with this sonnet. Your metre is excellent, and rhymes fresh as you move the plot forward.
This is a poem of great depth, with vivid imagery, and emotion.
I hope you write many more, because this is a fine read. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Gloria, thank you so much! I feel I have finally cracked the code on a sonnet.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is an eerie sonnet leading up to the final death of the
character. You did a good job, JLR. Your words are smooth,
the rhymes are correct, and you create great imagery. I could
see everything as I read. The ending works due to the way the
earlier lines torment the character until the end.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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This is an eerie sonnet leading up to the final death of the
character. You did a good job, JLR. Your words are smooth,
the rhymes are correct, and you create great imagery. I could
see everything as I read. The ending works due to the way the
earlier lines torment the character until the end.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Jan, thank you so much! I feel I have finally cracked the code on a sonnet.
Comment from C.A.Currie
Beautifully written for such a painful topic. If I remember my Greek mythology, didn't Charon ferry the souls across the river Styx at the time of death? And didn't/don't Greeks believe that the souls of all who die go to Hades? Like I said- a painful topic. Death never comes easy - there is always someone who wants to hang on - whether the victim or a bystander. Hope you do well in the contest! (Yep! Now that I wrote all that I see your explanations up top!) LOL
Hugs & Blessings from my heart to yours
~ Christine ~
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Beautifully written for such a painful topic. If I remember my Greek mythology, didn't Charon ferry the souls across the river Styx at the time of death? And didn't/don't Greeks believe that the souls of all who die go to Hades? Like I said- a painful topic. Death never comes easy - there is always someone who wants to hang on - whether the victim or a bystander. Hope you do well in the contest! (Yep! Now that I wrote all that I see your explanations up top!) LOL
Hugs & Blessings from my heart to yours
~ Christine ~
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 27-May-2022
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Christine, thank you, smiling back!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was fabulous! You've certainly kept to the rules with this subverted sonnet. Not easy to do. I'm glad the ending was a happy one, and she was with God. Well done and good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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That was fabulous! You've certainly kept to the rules with this subverted sonnet. Not easy to do. I'm glad the ending was a happy one, and she was with God. Well done and good luck in the contest! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Sandra thank you!
Comment from Frank Malley
"Charon Comes Late" is a great title and this poem has many very good lines in it. I especially like lines 1 and 2 and the entire second stanza. I think a number of lines could be improved with respect to the layout of stresses due to word choices;"Why this godless torment that you tie her to" phrases awkwardly in the flow of the poem. 'Godless, the torment that you tie her to' runs smoother, to me. I don't see an advantage in meaningful emphasis that is gained by this particular straying from the metric plan. However, because of the excellence of a number of lines, I am rating this poem as excellent. (I also wonder why the author didn't use the rich possibilties of Charon, the doomsday boatman, to put some associative tang into the poem.)
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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"Charon Comes Late" is a great title and this poem has many very good lines in it. I especially like lines 1 and 2 and the entire second stanza. I think a number of lines could be improved with respect to the layout of stresses due to word choices;"Why this godless torment that you tie her to" phrases awkwardly in the flow of the poem. 'Godless, the torment that you tie her to' runs smoother, to me. I don't see an advantage in meaningful emphasis that is gained by this particular straying from the metric plan. However, because of the excellence of a number of lines, I am rating this poem as excellent. (I also wonder why the author didn't use the rich possibilties of Charon, the doomsday boatman, to put some associative tang into the poem.)
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Frank, you kind sir are spot on! I implemented the change and put Charon - you are indeed correct! Thank you ...
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
This sonnet says a lot. It leads me in several different directions. The path I chose was the one where it seems like the author is asking for death as an escape from the alternative. How many of us have felt like that before?
Nice job.
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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This sonnet says a lot. It leads me in several different directions. The path I chose was the one where it seems like the author is asking for death as an escape from the alternative. How many of us have felt like that before?
Nice job.
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Gary, you nailed it. It does seem so many who suffer from life ending illnesses do suffer long.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
An awesome entry
for the Subverted Sonnet writing prompt contest. I love Greek mythology and the story of Charon ferries the souls of the dead over the Styx river.
Great imagery. It flows well with beautifully descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
The heroic sonnet in iambic pentameter form is well executed and follows the contest rules.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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An awesome entry
for the Subverted Sonnet writing prompt contest. I love Greek mythology and the story of Charon ferries the souls of the dead over the Styx river.
Great imagery. It flows well with beautifully descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
The heroic sonnet in iambic pentameter form is well executed and follows the contest rules.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Thank you, Yes I finally seem to have nailed one! thanks much :)