Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Flash of Lightning"Musings of an old man - 2022
24 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Uou did well with your Puente poem JLR. I enjoyed the topic of the mother hawk protecting her babies from the wind and rain, and glad to see the sun again.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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Uou did well with your Puente poem JLR. I enjoyed the topic of the mother hawk protecting her babies from the wind and rain, and glad to see the sun again.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 31-May-2022
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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Valda,thank you for your kind comment,
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This nature poem is vivid and beautiful. I would make one suggestion. Since all the other verbs are present tense, should the be pummel, unless you're suggesting it happened in the past.
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
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This nature poem is vivid and beautiful. I would make one suggestion. Since all the other verbs are present tense, should the be pummel, unless you're suggesting it happened in the past.
Comment Written 23-May-2022
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
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Verna, this is a wonderful recommendation! Thank you.
Comment from Whitewave
JLR,
The picture is amazing - yet another demonstration of the brilliance of nature. The hawk, bravely mothering its fledglings as the lightning flashes and then resting in the promise of the morning rainbow, is also an example of nature at its best.
Always the sun
Follows the rain.
After the rainbow
Blue sky again.
reply by the author on 23-May-2022
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JLR,
The picture is amazing - yet another demonstration of the brilliance of nature. The hawk, bravely mothering its fledglings as the lightning flashes and then resting in the promise of the morning rainbow, is also an example of nature at its best.
Always the sun
Follows the rain.
After the rainbow
Blue sky again.
Comment Written 23-May-2022
reply by the author on 23-May-2022
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Whitewavew, thanks for your review and comments.
Comment from Sarah Tummey
Thank you for teaching me about this form of poetry. I could imagine the bird at the beginning being lashed by rain, and a person at the end, steeling themselves for life - with a deep optimism that although things aren't going well, they'll eventually look up.
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Thank you for teaching me about this form of poetry. I could imagine the bird at the beginning being lashed by rain, and a person at the end, steeling themselves for life - with a deep optimism that although things aren't going well, they'll eventually look up.
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Thank you
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your club response was well done, JLR. I like the image you
paired with your stormy poem. The two verses are bridged
nicely. Your words were descriptive and each verse/lines
filled with great imagery. I could see the contrast in the
two verses of dealing with a storm. I like the use of free]verse.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 23-May-2022
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Your club response was well done, JLR. I like the image you
paired with your stormy poem. The two verses are bridged
nicely. Your words were descriptive and each verse/lines
filled with great imagery. I could see the contrast in the
two verses of dealing with a storm. I like the use of free]verse.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 23-May-2022
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Jan, I thank you you! I loved this prompt. The first time I have been exposed to this style, which validates why I enjoy the Potlatch club challenges and your guidance.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine scene painted here of those hawks protecting their young from the elements and life's tormenting rain, well chosen words in this fine presentation, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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A fine scene painted here of those hawks protecting their young from the elements and life's tormenting rain, well chosen words in this fine presentation, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Thank you Dolly!
Comment from karenina
Very effective Puente form that now intrigues me! Love the middle bridge line, and you've done a great job of showcasing the contrasting emotions between first and third stanzas!
Karenina
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Very effective Puente form that now intrigues me! Love the middle bridge line, and you've done a great job of showcasing the contrasting emotions between first and third stanzas!
Karenina
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Hi Karenina, thank you, I truly love the club prompts. They often expose me to new poetic styles that are so intriguing and a test of skill to tackle. Thank you for your review and comments.
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I used to do them all the time! Somehow, I got away from them over the past year. This one is making me reconsider that!
Comment from Wendy G
This is an interesting format with the bridge between the two stanzas. I could just imagine the hawks, protective and careful. I liked the optimism at the end where she waits, knowing that "her sun always rises". Well done on this lovely poem.
Wendy
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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This is an interesting format with the bridge between the two stanzas. I could just imagine the hawks, protective and careful. I liked the optimism at the end where she waits, knowing that "her sun always rises". Well done on this lovely poem.
Wendy
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Wendy, thank you, I truly love the club prompts. They often expose me to new poetic styles that are so intriguing and a test of skill to tackle. Thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from June Sargent
This is a great example of a puente poem. I think I will give it a try. The two perspectives joined by a bridge is unique. You met the challenge very well.
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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This is a great example of a puente poem. I think I will give it a try. The two perspectives joined by a bridge is unique. You met the challenge very well.
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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June, thank you, I truly love the club prompts. They often expose me to new poetic styles that are so intriguing and a test of skill to tackle. Thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
This is a very complex poetry form! I loved the image of the hawk mama sheltering her chicks in the storm. It's a great poem. If I was to be picky, I'd mention the first line after the center line. I think the tense used would make the word 'slumps' more appropriate. Other than that, impressive!
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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This is a very complex poetry form! I loved the image of the hawk mama sheltering her chicks in the storm. It's a great poem. If I was to be picky, I'd mention the first line after the center line. I think the tense used would make the word 'slumps' more appropriate. Other than that, impressive!
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Sam, thank you!