Just Moments
stepping back from the edge27 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I hope you have a bundle of sixes for this one because again I wish I had one to give you. This is a great story for anyone feeling they have nothing to live for. If we could only take that moment, keep it, and look for the next one, how many more people would be saved? This really was amazing writing, well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I hope you have a bundle of sixes for this one because again I wish I had one to give you. This is a great story for anyone feeling they have nothing to live for. If we could only take that moment, keep it, and look for the next one, how many more people would be saved? This really was amazing writing, well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Yeah, it's done okay. lol It's my first piece this year to hit ATB, I've hardly any fans left on the site!
I'm trying to mix it up this year with a lot of different types of stories. I've always tried to do that but folk like to pigeonhole you, so we'll see how it goes.
Much appreciated, as always G
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Well, you've still got me! I'll always be a fan of your writing. You'll soon get them back ... those still living! We've lost a lot over the last three years, or more.
Comment from Earl Corp
This was definitely a thinker. It's a pretty cerebral piece steeped in the psycholog of someone talking the other out of suicide. Is this part of a bigger story?
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This was definitely a thinker. It's a pretty cerebral piece steeped in the psycholog of someone talking the other out of suicide. Is this part of a bigger story?
Comment Written 12-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I've toyed with the idea of expanding this but it is a standalone piece, of that particular moment. Many thanks G
Comment from C.J.1
Nice story on a tough topic. I did find a small amount of the dialog a little stiff but overall, well done. I really like the idea of moments. We live from one moment to the next.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Nice story on a tough topic. I did find a small amount of the dialog a little stiff but overall, well done. I really like the idea of moments. We live from one moment to the next.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Many thanks. GMG
Comment from Begin Again
Another awesome story filled with lessons for everyone...those in pain and hopelessness need to remember that in one breath life could change and it would be different. and those who are so busy with life's rushing often pass by others when just a moment of their time might change someone else's life in a flash. Very well written.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Another awesome story filled with lessons for everyone...those in pain and hopelessness need to remember that in one breath life could change and it would be different. and those who are so busy with life's rushing often pass by others when just a moment of their time might change someone else's life in a flash. Very well written.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 11-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Many thanks, Carol. Much appreciated.
Comment from WalkerMan
This looks like a story I would enjoy reading. Whatever his past may have been, the event occurring in this chapter seems to have drawn out of Adrian the wisdom of living in the moment.
The past, however recent, is gone, and the next minute is not guaranteed; so the present moment is all we can influence as time races on. That does not mean we should ignore or forget the past, lest we lose what we learned from it; but we should not waste present time dwelling on our past blunders or other anguish. Instead we should use the present moment to prepare for the next and beyond in a positive manner, as that will assure a better life while it lasts, whether brief or long. That way, we have few regrets when our time in this life runs out.
That is the lesson Adrian is spontaneously teaching Beth, and her positive response justifiably elates him. Clearly this moment will change both lives for the better, and the reader has been captivated enough to want to read more.
The overall situation is plausible, the events are realistically described, and the necessarily tense dialog is appropriately emotional. The reader could not guess in advance the outcome, so is pleased with the positive result full of opportunity. Even a bit of humor is added to break the tension, when Adrian says he wants to drive.
If you can maintain the momentum and atmosphere of this first chapter, you may have a best-seller on your hands.
Superb, and aptly illustrated by that splendid 1882 German stopwatch.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This looks like a story I would enjoy reading. Whatever his past may have been, the event occurring in this chapter seems to have drawn out of Adrian the wisdom of living in the moment.
The past, however recent, is gone, and the next minute is not guaranteed; so the present moment is all we can influence as time races on. That does not mean we should ignore or forget the past, lest we lose what we learned from it; but we should not waste present time dwelling on our past blunders or other anguish. Instead we should use the present moment to prepare for the next and beyond in a positive manner, as that will assure a better life while it lasts, whether brief or long. That way, we have few regrets when our time in this life runs out.
That is the lesson Adrian is spontaneously teaching Beth, and her positive response justifiably elates him. Clearly this moment will change both lives for the better, and the reader has been captivated enough to want to read more.
The overall situation is plausible, the events are realistically described, and the necessarily tense dialog is appropriately emotional. The reader could not guess in advance the outcome, so is pleased with the positive result full of opportunity. Even a bit of humor is added to break the tension, when Adrian says he wants to drive.
If you can maintain the momentum and atmosphere of this first chapter, you may have a best-seller on your hands.
Superb, and aptly illustrated by that splendid 1882 German stopwatch.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for your thoughts on this one
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You are most welcome, G. I enjoyed reading it. -- Mike
Comment from royowen
Yes, I'm afraid life is made up of moments, when I recall my life, it seems like I lived my life in generally, a very mundane way, and yet there have bee some great times, but if it came to writing a biography, I would struggle to fill in the mundane, it would therefore be fictional. Good job, Well done, congrats on the No 1, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Yes, I'm afraid life is made up of moments, when I recall my life, it seems like I lived my life in generally, a very mundane way, and yet there have bee some great times, but if it came to writing a biography, I would struggle to fill in the mundane, it would therefore be fictional. Good job, Well done, congrats on the No 1, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I've had quite an eventful life but don't like to commit that to paper. probably need an adult rating but not for sex/nudity issues. Growing up in Belfast in the 70s and 80s was quite an experience! lol
Much appreciated G
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I can imagine
Comment from estory
I thought it was a great illustration of hope. The conversation between Adrian and Beth was quite emotional and realistic, we see the girl wavering between despair and wanting to have hope again. That telling moment when she braked is what her life seems to be teetering on now. I liked the colorful description of the jeep careening out of control to open it. It really grabbed our attention. estory
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I thought it was a great illustration of hope. The conversation between Adrian and Beth was quite emotional and realistic, we see the girl wavering between despair and wanting to have hope again. That telling moment when she braked is what her life seems to be teetering on now. I liked the colorful description of the jeep careening out of control to open it. It really grabbed our attention. estory
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Many thanks as always. G
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Every year I make ten new years resolutions, and fill in my personal diary every day. So far this year I have only reached five, and haven't filled in a single day in the diary. I feel almost as bad as Beth seems to. This post touched me. I will be looking to fill the year with moments from herein on, and feel a lot more positive. Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Every year I make ten new years resolutions, and fill in my personal diary every day. So far this year I have only reached five, and haven't filled in a single day in the diary. I feel almost as bad as Beth seems to. This post touched me. I will be looking to fill the year with moments from herein on, and feel a lot more positive. Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I never make resolutions. They reckon the average time for breaking them is about 10 days! shocking lol
Many thanks G
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent story, very well crafted, and with all the ingredients necessary to make compelling reading. Your style of writing is impressive, and the whole story with its life lesson about "moments" and depression, despair, hopelessness, and then, a wonderfully positive outcome - a new beginning - is very pleasing.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Excellent story, very well crafted, and with all the ingredients necessary to make compelling reading. Your style of writing is impressive, and the whole story with its life lesson about "moments" and depression, despair, hopelessness, and then, a wonderfully positive outcome - a new beginning - is very pleasing.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Many thanks, Wendy. I tend to think about movement a lot when I write. it's rare that folk just sit about and talk. You don't want to overwhelm with action but it can add to a piece. i also like to incorporate the description into character action so it always feels more organic.
Anyway, i'm babbling now. Much appreciated. G
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I don't mind you babbling - I like to see how others' minds work and develop their stories, and yours was a very good one.
Wendy
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Wow, G, that sent chills all over me. Flawlessly written, it was more than just a short story, it was an experience. It was unique, more than just an example of someone saving another's life. It was an expression of humanity, and it was so clever. This is going to be another one of those stories that stays with me.
Thanks for sharing,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Wow, G, that sent chills all over me. Flawlessly written, it was more than just a short story, it was an experience. It was unique, more than just an example of someone saving another's life. It was an expression of humanity, and it was so clever. This is going to be another one of those stories that stays with me.
Thanks for sharing,
Rhonda
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Many thanks Rhonda. This is one of my recovered pieces. i found it on an old laptop the other day. It's from 5 years ago, something like that and wasn't finished. I have tonnes of folders like that. lol Much appreciated G
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I have a few of those unfinished files as well, lol.
I?m glad you decided to share it.