After The Picnic
A boy remembers summer116 total reviews
Comment from ooh baby
What delightful remembrances of a summers eve. It brings back long agomemories of my own and makes me grow lonesome for those innocent , carefree times. Beautiful imagery used here, helped me see these characters
and hear the sounds. I really enjoyed this poem!
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What delightful remembrances of a summers eve. It brings back long agomemories of my own and makes me grow lonesome for those innocent , carefree times. Beautiful imagery used here, helped me see these characters
and hear the sounds. I really enjoyed this poem!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from volunteer angel
Sounds like a typical family gathering to me. There's always the loud mouths
and the showoff's. Then there's the kids who make their own fun! Good descriptions of all the activities taking place. Makes me want to be there.
Sitting on the porch and listening to sounds in the night, is always a good
pasttime. Good job Mastery! Volunteer Angel
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Sounds like a typical family gathering to me. There's always the loud mouths
and the showoff's. Then there's the kids who make their own fun! Good descriptions of all the activities taking place. Makes me want to be there.
Sitting on the porch and listening to sounds in the night, is always a good
pasttime. Good job Mastery! Volunteer Angel
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from TR Stagner
This is a phenominal piece. Quite descriptive. The flow is perfect, but then you already knew that didn't you? It reminds me of listening to my grandfather talk about when he was a boy, I mean, except of course, even though it was summer he'd have had to walk uphill both ways to school and blah blah. I find myself wondering though, do you know the etymology of the word picnic? Very good read. Grats.
TR
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This is a phenominal piece. Quite descriptive. The flow is perfect, but then you already knew that didn't you? It reminds me of listening to my grandfather talk about when he was a boy, I mean, except of course, even though it was summer he'd have had to walk uphill both ways to school and blah blah. I find myself wondering though, do you know the etymology of the word picnic? Very good read. Grats.
TR
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from GentleCloud
Hi Bob, what a beautiful piece, written with perfect mastery over the impressions each word, each stanza would create. In a short space, the total experience engulfed us with its picturesque view of gamboling kids, racuous adults and nature's backdrop. Well done!
I loved these best. Thanks for sharing. Good luck with the contest.
while we sailed around the yard chasing fireflies
with Mason jars in our sweaty hands.
I was sitting on the porch with Grandma,
listening to small talk, croaking bullfrogs
and chirping crickets.
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Hi Bob, what a beautiful piece, written with perfect mastery over the impressions each word, each stanza would create. In a short space, the total experience engulfed us with its picturesque view of gamboling kids, racuous adults and nature's backdrop. Well done!
I loved these best. Thanks for sharing. Good luck with the contest.
while we sailed around the yard chasing fireflies
with Mason jars in our sweaty hands.
I was sitting on the porch with Grandma,
listening to small talk, croaking bullfrogs
and chirping crickets.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from clhutchinson
The story is this poem is well told and is colorful with the scenes and images presented without sacrificing the great flow of thoughts. Wonderful recall of past memories ending with delight.
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The story is this poem is well told and is colorful with the scenes and images presented without sacrificing the great flow of thoughts. Wonderful recall of past memories ending with delight.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from Aleksandramarie
Ahhhhh these summer poems are such a joy,
memories and shared thoughts, nice way to spend a day or night,
kidsweat and Grandma's switch, love it, mspotter
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Ahhhhh these summer poems are such a joy,
memories and shared thoughts, nice way to spend a day or night,
kidsweat and Grandma's switch, love it, mspotter
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from tjewing
This is a great poem. We in Ohio prefer summer as well. Go Blue! I'm one of those Michigan fans from Ohio. Thanks for serving our country. God bless! tjewing
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This is a great poem. We in Ohio prefer summer as well. Go Blue! I'm one of those Michigan fans from Ohio. Thanks for serving our country. God bless! tjewing
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from pawz
Magic.
I know nothing of 'meter' and correct patterns of verse but even if this poem can be criticised in that area ( I know not), it wouldn't matter to me one bit because you have made it feel that I am there too, peeping out of the bushes to watch as these events unfold. And the phrases you have used - 'somebody's something' 'lost their faces to the creeping dark'; such economic descriptions which fit just right. A poem to enjoy
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Magic.
I know nothing of 'meter' and correct patterns of verse but even if this poem can be criticised in that area ( I know not), it wouldn't matter to me one bit because you have made it feel that I am there too, peeping out of the bushes to watch as these events unfold. And the phrases you have used - 'somebody's something' 'lost their faces to the creeping dark'; such economic descriptions which fit just right. A poem to enjoy
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from rivki1111
Thanks Mastery, this is a lovely piece of writing. Enchanting. I became aware after reading it a couple of times that a good writer is able to master the art of taking a seemingly small moment in time; illuminate it and make it a thing of beauty. You really are a very accomplished artist.Cheers Rivki
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Thanks Mastery, this is a lovely piece of writing. Enchanting. I became aware after reading it a couple of times that a good writer is able to master the art of taking a seemingly small moment in time; illuminate it and make it a thing of beauty. You really are a very accomplished artist.Cheers Rivki
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005
Comment from JustJenny1234
What a truly beautiful little trip down memory lane. Really loved this one, it has a lovely flow to it and fantastic imagery, i felt like i was right there. I totally LOVED this : Bullfrogs flirted in deep "ree-beeep" voices.
Crickets sounded like excited sopranos
in raunchy, but pleasant, chorus.
Fantasti imagery, brilliant poem, really liked it a lot.
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What a truly beautiful little trip down memory lane. Really loved this one, it has a lovely flow to it and fantastic imagery, i felt like i was right there. I totally LOVED this : Bullfrogs flirted in deep "ree-beeep" voices.
Crickets sounded like excited sopranos
in raunchy, but pleasant, chorus.
Fantasti imagery, brilliant poem, really liked it a lot.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2005