Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Dean this is cool ...my husband and I frequent graveyards a lot ...he is an Avid history buff....and twixt crumbling ancient headstones is evocative......the coolest place to do this was in Scotland ...where the dates read 1485 cool aye....but you deserve a six for the syllable counting website...yay.
God bless

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Hah, well, after being disqualified from the last two contests because of improper syllable counts, I had to find something...anything! to help me out.

Thanks for the awesome review, kiwijenny. I'm a big, old cemetery buff myself.

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

shifting moonbeams stream the 's's enchant
twixt crumbling GOTHIC headstones love 'twixt' = olde English
deathly silhouettes been there, seen that

I'm no expert on Haiku so all I can offer is the above. The pic is scarier than the piece.

Regards:

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks, Stephen, and that's a good thing because it was never intended to be scary. A peacefulness and serenity was more of what I was trying to convey.

With respect,

Dean

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

A very thoughtful and suitably spooky Haiku.
Clever crafted from the smoking cauldron and thoughtfuly presented .
I loved the authentic luminous moon image which complemented the words well.
There's so many "luna tics" about at the moment. Lol.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Hah, yes, there certainly are, seken58.

Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked it.

Comment from The Death

Excellent

Hi, Dean.

Very striking imagery your words portray here. I like the theme very much. One can visualize those moonbeams moving around the old, decaying tombstones to produce shadowhs of death.

Superb word economy throughout and fine use of phonetics in this poem.

shifting moonbeams stream
twixt crumbling ancient headstones
silhouettes of death

Excellent use of S,T consonance, short I assonance and S alliteration. Very creative cutter line!

That being said...you did break a general rule--the one a writer should avoid--of using participles, that even twice. They tend to weaken the real essence of a haiku.

The only reason I'm not giving a four is that you have followed all those pesky rules that misguide(and have been misguiding) most of the people here.

American haiku are all about syllable utilization, but the real ones capture a moment in time, with exquisite simplicity.
So, you have done full justice to the prompt.

Good luck!

Warm regards,
Anupam

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks to you, Anupam, my friend, and I changed the satori line to spectral silhouettes, if that makes any difference. And contrary to popular belief, all "specters" do not come in human form, so no personification is implied.

Thanks again for the great review. I try to follow the rules, very rigidly. I've been disqualified far too many times for accidentally not doing so.

Comment from Robin Gilmor

Exceptional

Beautifully written with a clever ending. I could feel the peace and
calm as the moon moved slowly across the sky. Your art work enhances the
silent loneness of the night's shadows. A joy to read. Smiles, Robin :)

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks so much for your stellar review, Robin. I really appreciate it!

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Excellent

Stunning presentation. I like the alliteration in the first line and the little verse is a delightful read. The last line is paralyzing, and the big picture sort of jumped me. A good one. Kenny

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, Kenny. I'm really happy that you liked it.

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

shifting moonbeams stream
twixt crumbling ancient headstones
deathly silhouettes

a great entry into the haiku contest, I like it. Deathly silhouettes

Good luck in the contest, Mary

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks a million, Mary. I do appreciate it, and am very glad you enjoyed the poem.

Comment from Schalk Jacobs

Exceptional

Dean, it has been a while since I have reviewed one of your pieces and you still never cease to amaze me with your talent. In this haiku you have managed to capture the eerie feeling one gets from walking in a graveyard at night with a moon illuminating the sky above. It is indeed a sinister feeling and your words choice is brilliant to convey that. I wish you all the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks for such a stellar review. I really appreciate it. And, based on my recent track record in these types of poetry contests, I'm going to need all of the luck that I can get!

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Your usual stunningly creepy presentation, Dean, and perfect words to match this haunting scene of 'deathly silhouettes'.

More interesting than most pretty-pretty moon poems, though there are many excellent entries here. I think it will be close run contest with you certainly as a contender.

Excellent.

Good luck and best wishes, Ray

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks, Ray, we'll see.

I really meant this more as a piece about serenity and tranquility more than anything creepy. There is a peacefulness about an old cemetery, nothing scary at all.

Thanks for you take on the poem. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me about it.

reply by Domino 2 on 12-Jun-2014

Excellent point, Dean, and I agree, though you won't find me appreciating their 'serenity' at MIDNIGHT...just in case Dracula is around. LOL

Thanks for the great reply, my friend.

Ray the scardy-cat. :-)

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Sure thing, Ted. Thank you.

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Oops! i mean, Ray, LOL...

reply by Domino 2 on 12-Jun-2014

LOL, Dean - I need reminding myself, sometimes. :-)

Comment from royowen

Excellent

An excellent entry in this moon haiku contest, I really like this great entry in this contest, in this somewhat difficult poetic form, backed by the artwork, is a good one! Well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thank you, Roy. I'm glad you liked it.