Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

Fabulous Steve, fabulous! This one made me smile a lot and laugh out loud. The images presented were priceless. I could see it all happening. Great rhyming too, and nice even lines. Giddy

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks, Giddy.
I had fun recalling some of the things that used to drive me crazy when my kids were young.
Steve

Comment from Espresso momma

Excellent

Much! Neither were mine...much. LOL. This was great . Congratulations on your wonderful win. You deserved it. You used a lot of imagination and a little experience or was that the other way around... Thanks.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thank you - actually the win was split four ways, so a very even contest.
Steve

Comment from J. P. Egry

Excellent

I read this earlier as one of the contest entries and loved it. Point of view from the little child is original and not expected for this contest. The flow and rhythm of the poem is perfect. The humor and fun language give the poem zest and joy. I'd like to say it would make a good children's book, but it's innuendos wouldn't work. It might work in a parent's magazine or even in a magazine targeting the general public. Worth a try to submit to a few places if you haven't already.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks for the great review. I think I started it as a children's poem but then it morphed into this - you'll notice I have placed it as humour rather than kids' verse.
I have a few of these now - you may have reviewed my Teddy Bear piece as well - I would love to find some place to submit them - just to test the waters if nothing else, but I have no idea how/where to go about it.
Any pointers you could give in that direction would be much appreciated.
Thanks again.
Steve

Comment from missy98writer

Excellent

Poet,
Your poem is very well written. You did a great job of writing lines that accommodate the rhymes without being forced. Great word structure and effective alliteration cap off your poem. The art work is priceless. I liked you lines: "I almost drove my Daddy's car, it rolled into the wall; He says we'll prob'ly pay it off by sometime in the Fall. I almost got the painter fired who came to paint the fence; He said he only tied me up as basic self-defence." You poem is funnier than hell. The art work is priceless. You poem is excellent and a real contender in the contest. I wish you good luck in The Life He Almost Lived writing prompt contest. I'd recommend you poem to other reviewers. Keep on writing with humor and have a wonderful day.
Missy.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks, Melissa - glad you enjoyed this.
I managed to share a four-way split of the first prize, so I'm pleased with that.
Thanks again for your kind words.
Steve

Comment from rchitwood

Excellent

This poem is so creative and also very amusing I love it.Reminds me of some of the things my kids did.Your poem has smooth rhyming line flow and structure.Your photo compliments your poem well.Blessings Rita

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks, Rita - I just had to let the memories roll back a few years to whem ny kids were small...
Steve

Comment from Cheryl Daphine

Excellent

This is an adorable poem Very good response to the writing prompt.You have well capture the voice of Dennis the Mennis. I am glad your notes say none of your children were like this. Great structure and rhyme. Well written and best of luck.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks - I just had to let the memories roll back a few years to whem ny kids were small...
Steve

Comment from purrfect tale

Excellent

I loved this poem! It was very funny and perfectly captured the world viewed from the eyes of a child. But I can't vote for it, you missed the prompt instructions. Instead of the life almost lived, you have the life that is being lived!

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks for reviewing - agreed I twisted the prompt a little to make the humour flourish, but it is all about 'almost'
Steve

Comment from bob cullen

Excellent

This is delightful. It brings many smiles of pleasure from our child raising years. It is so easy to relate to this.

Your rhyme is catchy adn your metered balance superb. I wish there was more poetry like this on the site instead of all those non-sensical hykai. I can't even spell them

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks for the kind review and the kind words...
I guess rhyme and meter are more my cup of tea too.

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

I'm not sure what life he was going to live other than adoption but I liked it and it made me laugh and for that my hat is off to you. Great job and good luck with that little boy. I don't know if you've ever listened to Bad Little Boy by Ray Stevens but I strongly suggest checking it out.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thank you, Bird
I remember some of Ray Stevens' songs, but that one didn't ring a bell - I've just googled it and you're right - there's a strong similarity - all I gotta do now is put it to music and get a singing voice!
Steve

Comment from Sweet Anita

Excellent

How cute! I loved every line of your poem. I also wish I could say my son wasn't like this... I guess they are all the same. LOL Thanks for the laughs. You have done an exceptional job, but I don't have exceptional (6 stars) to award you, so I will give you my best (5 stars).

Nita

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011

Thanks, Nita.
Just started remembering some of the stunts my two boys used to get up to...
Steve