Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Chapter 11; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
92 total reviews
Comment from livingwords
Well done. Exciting, disturbing premise. Your phrases express the emotions that must be occurring. I have a few nits, but hardly worth mentioning. Keep up the good work. Dan :))
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Well done. Exciting, disturbing premise. Your phrases express the emotions that must be occurring. I have a few nits, but hardly worth mentioning. Keep up the good work. Dan :))
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara,
Glad to hear you are still hanging in there and doing well with the chemo..or as well as anyone could. My heart feels the terror and confusion in Sara..a missing child is a horrifying experience that one never forgets. Great chapter.
Crol
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Barbara,
Glad to hear you are still hanging in there and doing well with the chemo..or as well as anyone could. My heart feels the terror and confusion in Sara..a missing child is a horrifying experience that one never forgets. Great chapter.
Crol
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from L.lora
A very well written addition
to your storyline. Your discriptions
remain strong as does your dialogues.
Your dialogues are very realistic and
draw your reader in, they become as if
being spoken by someone we know very
well--a friend. Looking forward to your
next post. no nits or spags...Hope you
had a good holiday and that all went
well with the chemo. Lora
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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A very well written addition
to your storyline. Your discriptions
remain strong as does your dialogues.
Your dialogues are very realistic and
draw your reader in, they become as if
being spoken by someone we know very
well--a friend. Looking forward to your
next post. no nits or spags...Hope you
had a good holiday and that all went
well with the chemo. Lora
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
Maybe this will be the break they need. I really enjoyed this chapter. It shows how tested a romance can be by such horrid adversity and uncertainty.
I found no nits of any sort but did spot a possible logic error:
"I know the parents of the five girls we rescued are glad to have their daughters back, but they aren't Cassie." I thought they had rescued seven girls but could be wrong. I also think that five is a better number to use.
Dave
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Barbara,
Maybe this will be the break they need. I really enjoyed this chapter. It shows how tested a romance can be by such horrid adversity and uncertainty.
I found no nits of any sort but did spot a possible logic error:
"I know the parents of the five girls we rescued are glad to have their daughters back, but they aren't Cassie." I thought they had rescued seven girls but could be wrong. I also think that five is a better number to use.
Dave
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Seven girls the first time and five girls this time. I have taken a beaten with this post; a three and then although he gave me a 5, he said this chapter could be condensed into one or two paragraphs. I am considering bringing my cat claws out. Thank you for your support.
Comment from RKagan
Hello, this is another wonderful chapter. It reminds us that we need to be aware of who are kids are messaging on the internet. Why does Sara have to leave once they find Cassie? I hope she doesn't. I read your author notes and I am still keeping you in my prayers, my friend.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Hello, this is another wonderful chapter. It reminds us that we need to be aware of who are kids are messaging on the internet. Why does Sara have to leave once they find Cassie? I hope she doesn't. I read your author notes and I am still keeping you in my prayers, my friend.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
First of all I am glad you survived your third round of chemo! This is a heart-breaking chapter. I feel sorry for everyone involved in the quest to find Cassie. Thinking of my own daughter I know I would be beside myself if this happened to her. I hope Sara will tell Joe how much she loves him soon. Well done. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Hi Barbara,
First of all I am glad you survived your third round of chemo! This is a heart-breaking chapter. I feel sorry for everyone involved in the quest to find Cassie. Thinking of my own daughter I know I would be beside myself if this happened to her. I hope Sara will tell Joe how much she loves him soon. Well done. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Sefiros
I once had a character sigh eight times. The effect was lamb-basted. Yes everyone is on edge about Cassie. Yes there's some tension about the budding romances. You don't have to beat it with a dead horse. Condense everything in this entry in a paragraph or two. Good luck.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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I once had a character sigh eight times. The effect was lamb-basted. Yes everyone is on edge about Cassie. Yes there's some tension about the budding romances. You don't have to beat it with a dead horse. Condense everything in this entry in a paragraph or two. Good luck.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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My dear, this is a romance. There are certain formulas followed by romance writers. I am under the impression you don't normally read romance, am I correct?
Comment from sheilanewton
You're dealing with a very emotive subject, and I have to say, you're doing it well. I wrote a short story about an abduction via a chat room and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.
Well done.
I like your dialogue. I like that you don't waste words and have your characters waffling unnecessarily!
Good for you.
A really well-written chapter. Is it going to be a happy ending - or not! (said she with baited breath!)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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You're dealing with a very emotive subject, and I have to say, you're doing it well. I wrote a short story about an abduction via a chat room and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.
Well done.
I like your dialogue. I like that you don't waste words and have your characters waffling unnecessarily!
Good for you.
A really well-written chapter. Is it going to be a happy ending - or not! (said she with baited breath!)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from markk
Well written and heart wrenching piece and very enthralling. You have put me deep into the story showing your skilled writing.
Separately, well done on enduring the chemo and keeping going. Hope it all goes well for you.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Well written and heart wrenching piece and very enthralling. You have put me deep into the story showing your skilled writing.
Separately, well done on enduring the chemo and keeping going. Hope it all goes well for you.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thnk you for your kind review/
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dportwood
barbara.wilkey,
Another great post in your usual error-free storytelling style. Emotions are running high and these emotions are transferred to the reader through your words. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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barbara.wilkey,
Another great post in your usual error-free storytelling style. Emotions are running high and these emotions are transferred to the reader through your words. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2010
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Thank you for yoru kind review.
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Thank you for your kind review.