haiku (shifting moonbeams stream)
Moon Haiku Promt entry90 total reviews
Comment from aanneee
Well! For heavens sake you can even give one the shivering trembles in 17 syllables. A picture perfect presentation,
I wish you luck in the contest - Dinah
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
Well! For heavens sake you can even give one the shivering trembles in 17 syllables. A picture perfect presentation,
I wish you luck in the contest - Dinah
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your awesome review, Dinah.
Comment from Muffins
A disturbing chilling moment clogged with fear, suspense and heart pounding irresistible chaos. This image is described in tight vivid, terrifying details. The stuff horror is birthed from.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
A disturbing chilling moment clogged with fear, suspense and heart pounding irresistible chaos. This image is described in tight vivid, terrifying details. The stuff horror is birthed from.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Muffins, it could (and has) be perceived in that way. I meant it to be more about peace and serenity than anything creepy, but that's okay, either interpretations certainly works.
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I think the photo has a lot to do with the reaction this piece is getting.
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Me too, but it's just so...peacefully perfect.
Comment from l.raven
HI Dean, can't imagine what that would be like in a cemetery at night with a full moon...your poem is very well expressed...and the picture perfffffffffect...love it1! very well thought of...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
HI Dean, can't imagine what that would be like in a cemetery at night with a full moon...your poem is very well expressed...and the picture perfffffffffect...love it1! very well thought of...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me about it, Linda. Much obliged.
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you are so welcome Dean...always a pleasure...luff
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is an inspiring read. It is technically sound with a message of tremendous depth. You certainly chose your syllables well and have quite a contest contender here. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
This is an inspiring read. It is technically sound with a message of tremendous depth. You certainly chose your syllables well and have quite a contest contender here. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much for your fine review, Mystic Angel 7777. Much appreciated.
Comment from costellsgirl33
The picture is the perfect match to the tone of your poem! I don't think I've ever heard the word twixt before. However, your poem is very good and I wish you much luck in the contest. Great job as always
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
The picture is the perfect match to the tone of your poem! I don't think I've ever heard the word twixt before. However, your poem is very good and I wish you much luck in the contest. Great job as always
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks for an excellent review, costellsgirll 33. 'Twixt is just an archaic, old english word for "between".
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You are very welcome Dean. I am aa fan of your work!
Arnetta
Comment from Dawn Munro
This little poem works so well to evoke a feeling of eeriness, the 'mood' of the graveyard. Two concrete images, grammatically connected -well done. good luck.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
This little poem works so well to evoke a feeling of eeriness, the 'mood' of the graveyard. Two concrete images, grammatically connected -well done. good luck.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks for a fine review, Dawn.
Comment from tfawcus
A graphic image in your first two lines and an interesting satori to finish. The archaic 'twixt' works well here. You also have the perfect picture accompaniment! Good luck in the contest. It has attracted a strong field.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
A graphic image in your first two lines and an interesting satori to finish. The archaic 'twixt' works well here. You also have the perfect picture accompaniment! Good luck in the contest. It has attracted a strong field.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your expert assessment, Tony. Always a pleasure to get your opinions.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Of course I was not expecting a lovely romantic golden moonshine Haiku. Which was fortunate for me, I might have been disappointed. As it was, I was thrilled to read another deathly ghosty, crumbly gravestone, Haiku, the type we can happily take to bed to lull us into a blissful sleep! Very well done, my dear Dean! :) Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
Of course I was not expecting a lovely romantic golden moonshine Haiku. Which was fortunate for me, I might have been disappointed. As it was, I was thrilled to read another deathly ghosty, crumbly gravestone, Haiku, the type we can happily take to bed to lull us into a blissful sleep! Very well done, my dear Dean! :) Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Sandra. based upon my track record in contests of poetry of this type, I'm going to need it.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Your haiku was a ghostly backdrop for a moment in the night when the imagination starts to play with your head. I remember seeing shapes as I walked home from a friends house one night. A stop sign was a creeper. A creaking tree was a monster clawing to get at me. The moon can be friend or foe, depending on the mood. Great job. Great choice for the picture.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
Your haiku was a ghostly backdrop for a moment in the night when the imagination starts to play with your head. I remember seeing shapes as I walked home from a friends house one night. A stop sign was a creeper. A creaking tree was a monster clawing to get at me. The moon can be friend or foe, depending on the mood. Great job. Great choice for the picture.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks, GW. I really appreciate your excellent interpretation.
Comment from adewpearl
stunning presentation of your poem, which is in good haiku format
good assonance in moonbeams stream
a powerful scene with the crumbling ancient headstones, I just love that line and can so easily visualize the moon's rays beaming down on this cemetery
I am a cemetery fan and have actually gone on vacations in New England to do gravestone rubbing and you capture the spirit of these sacred places well
killer satori :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
stunning presentation of your poem, which is in good haiku format
good assonance in moonbeams stream
a powerful scene with the crumbling ancient headstones, I just love that line and can so easily visualize the moon's rays beaming down on this cemetery
I am a cemetery fan and have actually gone on vacations in New England to do gravestone rubbing and you capture the spirit of these sacred places well
killer satori :-) Brooke
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Brooke, as I do. I do charcoals of old tombstones. You know, where you take paper and hold it to the face of the headstone, then rub charcoal across it to capture the image? I have several of them framed in my office where I do my writing.
I often go to one old, neglected cemetery near my home, to just sit and reflect. I find so much serenity and peacefulness in such places. Many find that weird, but we have nothing to fear from the dead, just new things to discover from their passing.
Thanks for the awesome assessment, my dear friend. Much appreciated.
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the same thing as gravestone rubbing only with charcoal - I always did it with what looks like a big block of crayon wax
I also searched the tombstones for fascinating life histories and causes of death and for poems, usually variants of Remember me as you pass by, for as you are so once was I and as I am you soon will be, remember me. I have a thing for the dead - I also used to collect post mortem photos.
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Cool. See, we have a lot more in common than most might think, 'ey?