Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Chapter 4 part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
78 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
So enjoyable - you're such
a natural writing these love
scenes, Barbara, taking the
reader there.
the blanket ong
............on
I'm not goinog to break you heart.
I'm not going to break your heart.
Margaret
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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So enjoyable - you're such
a natural writing these love
scenes, Barbara, taking the
reader there.
the blanket ong
............on
I'm not goinog to break you heart.
I'm not going to break your heart.
Margaret
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for catching those typos. Nobody mentioned them before I went to bed. They are fixed. I appreciate your review.
Comment from JoAnna77
I enjoyed the earlier chapters of this book and have really enjoyed this one. The diologue is natural and the story flows well. Just one spag:
in the final paragraph
'I'm not goinog to break you heart' - should read 'I'm not going...'
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I enjoyed the earlier chapters of this book and have really enjoyed this one. The diologue is natural and the story flows well. Just one spag:
in the final paragraph
'I'm not goinog to break you heart' - should read 'I'm not going...'
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I have fixed that typo, thank you for pointing it out. Thank you for your review.
Comment from eliz100
This was a good read from beginning to end. You handle the development of this relationship very well. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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This was a good read from beginning to end. You handle the development of this relationship very well. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from CKLA
I am enjoying the development of Joe and Sara's relationship. She deserves a good man.
He spread the blanket on(g) the grass and sat
Collette
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I am enjoying the development of Joe and Sara's relationship. She deserves a good man.
He spread the blanket on(g) the grass and sat
Collette
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I have fixed that typo. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from CKLA
I am enjoying the development of Joe and Sara's relationship. She deserves a good man.
He spread the blanket on(g) the grass and sat
Collette
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I am enjoying the development of Joe and Sara's relationship. She deserves a good man.
He spread the blanket on(g) the grass and sat
Collette
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I received this one twice.
Comment from Ponder
Hi Barbara,
I think what I like about your characters of Joe and Sara is that they are very easy to like and get to know - you have drawn them in a very realistic way that really jumps off the page.
I thought this was a great scene by the river, the hopes and fears of Joe and Sara were well done, though perhaps sara more than Joe - he is still a bit of mystery!
Jules
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Hi Barbara,
I think what I like about your characters of Joe and Sara is that they are very easy to like and get to know - you have drawn them in a very realistic way that really jumps off the page.
I thought this was a great scene by the river, the hopes and fears of Joe and Sara were well done, though perhaps sara more than Joe - he is still a bit of mystery!
Jules
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and words.
Comment from fishcantswim
Another excellent chapter.
Again the plot and characters develop at a good pace, not too fast and not too slow.
Everything is good - no criticism.
And don't go rushing to post things - a little waiting is good folk, and you have more important concerns.
All the best. :-)
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Another excellent chapter.
Again the plot and characters develop at a good pace, not too fast and not too slow.
Everything is good - no criticism.
And don't go rushing to post things - a little waiting is good folk, and you have more important concerns.
All the best. :-)
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your wisdom. I tend to rush my recovery. I am discovering my body ain't as young as it once was.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
Glad to see you back at work so soon. Good work on this chapter.
I like the internal dialogue in this one. It works well.
Be careful of making Sara feel too sorry for herself.
Well, it's your story.
You might want to check your word "spoilt" I think it should be "spoiled."
I'm still wondering why you divide your chapters into so many parts? Book chapters should vary in length. Some can be just two or three pages. You can also have one-page chapters.
You're also asking first-time reviewers to go back and read earlier chapters. Very few will ever do that.
You, of all people, should know that. You post a chapter for weeks at a time.
Ted
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Hi Barbara :)
Glad to see you back at work so soon. Good work on this chapter.
I like the internal dialogue in this one. It works well.
Be careful of making Sara feel too sorry for herself.
Well, it's your story.
You might want to check your word "spoilt" I think it should be "spoiled."
I'm still wondering why you divide your chapters into so many parts? Book chapters should vary in length. Some can be just two or three pages. You can also have one-page chapters.
You're also asking first-time reviewers to go back and read earlier chapters. Very few will ever do that.
You, of all people, should know that. You post a chapter for weeks at a time.
Ted
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I divide my chapters into parts because the suggestion for romance novels is 15-22 pages per chapter. That's way to long to post on FS. I used to post entire chapters but it didn't work. I label them the way I do so I can find the spot easier in my manuscript to make corrections. I put in the part about reading earlier chapters, not so they would go back and read, but because if I put in all the informatin about the characters in each post I would never make it through the book. You wouldn't do that in a regular manuscript. I got tired of being dinged because someone would write a review that was totally stupid because it was the last chapter of the book and they didn't know what was going on. This way I am at least reminding them that this is part of a longer novel.
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Okay, it makes sense.
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It's not perfect, but it works for me most of the time. I still get stupid reviews once in awhile.
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Hey, you're not alone. A lot of reviews are stupid.
Regarding reviewers going back to earlier chapters: I just had a woman give me a rave review on my last story and then immediately go back and read the first two chapters. She gave me rave reviews on those as well. "Meadow" hasn't gotten a bad review yet.
Ted
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It's a good story, I liked it. I think you my concerns so there's no reason to rehash them
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No further editing will be done.
Ted
Comment from Earthwriter
very entertaining piece i liked his description of the innocence of another era excellent job i found it very entertaining
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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very entertaining piece i liked his description of the innocence of another era excellent job i found it very entertaining
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Sara and Joe seem to be tiptoeing around each other. Sara is afraid of being hurt. She also doesn't think she's worthy of love. She believes that her mistake has branded her for life. Hopefully Joe can set her straight.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Sara and Joe seem to be tiptoeing around each other. Sara is afraid of being hurt. She also doesn't think she's worthy of love. She believes that her mistake has branded her for life. Hopefully Joe can set her straight.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.