Damaged Goods
A Poem72 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
Another powerful poem from your talented pen, Curt. To most writers, it's the words you write that keep you going and by helping at least one other person gives you a reason to get up. Emotional and moving poetry.
Indy
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Another powerful poem from your talented pen, Curt. To most writers, it's the words you write that keep you going and by helping at least one other person gives you a reason to get up. Emotional and moving poetry.
Indy
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thanks Kar,
Oh, I could tell much worse stories than these.
Usually the only reason I get up anymore is to go to the bathroom, then right back to bed. What else is there but an inviting dream world where I can be whatever I want?
Beats the hell out of reality.
Take care,
Curt
Comment from prophetess
Wow, powerful, heart wrenching, and all too familiar poem. This gave me shivers. I can relate so well to the disappearing act many abused children learn to do so well. The feeling of being damaged goods never disipates, it's a feeling that lasts a lifetime regardless of how much therapy one gets. It defines relationships, and self image forever. Excellent poem. Take a bow. I send a bouquet of virtual roses to congratulate a work exquisitly done.
Prophetess
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Wow, powerful, heart wrenching, and all too familiar poem. This gave me shivers. I can relate so well to the disappearing act many abused children learn to do so well. The feeling of being damaged goods never disipates, it's a feeling that lasts a lifetime regardless of how much therapy one gets. It defines relationships, and self image forever. Excellent poem. Take a bow. I send a bouquet of virtual roses to congratulate a work exquisitly done.
Prophetess
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you my friend,
I accept with humility and a humble thank you for your comments.
My life is what it is because of my past, that much is evident.
How else could one explain it?
Curt
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I share with you a similar experience and although I hate that it happened and I still often ask, the air, how could someone have done that to a child, naturally I get no answers, but it has truly made me a stronger person. I have had to care for two family members while they were dying and I don't think I would have been strong enough to do it had I not had to endure that ultimate pain and learned to disassociate. My poetry reflects my anger and pain, I think, and many just don't understand.
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I don't get any answers either.
After all these years, it seems to me that I have been told again and again that this happened for a reason. If that is true, then God must have willed it, and if that is true, then the offender only did what God wanted Him to, in which case, I hate God and the world for it.
On the other hand, if it didn't happen for any reason at all, then God is a sick SOB for allowing it, and I hate Him and the world for it.
How can one win in a situation like that?
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You can't win honey, don't try, and yes, God is sick and cruel, you should read some of my poetry, I think my disdain is pretty clear. Happened for a reason... Ha! Ha! the only reason I can see is to entertain a supposed higher being. There is no good reason, but the only choices we have are to let it beat us, and the offender wins, or to let it make us stronger and beat the offender. At least thats how I had to deal with it. I was NOT going to let my offender have the satisfaction of seeing me give him another minute of grief. Pour it out in your writings and put on a brave face.
Comment from Amicus
Powerful and poignant poetry, Curt. It hurts just to read it but your skilled craftsmanship makes it impossible not to do so.
When we change the way we think about an experience, we can change the way we feel about it. What a survivor the child within you became...to make art of ugliness and beauty of violence is the work of an enhanced human being and not the work of "damaged goods" as I see it.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Powerful and poignant poetry, Curt. It hurts just to read it but your skilled craftsmanship makes it impossible not to do so.
When we change the way we think about an experience, we can change the way we feel about it. What a survivor the child within you became...to make art of ugliness and beauty of violence is the work of an enhanced human being and not the work of "damaged goods" as I see it.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you Amicus,
Your thoughts are most encouraging.
I don't know about changing the way I think, but I do know if I didn't try to rise above it, then he wins, and I'll be damned if I am going to give in and just let him.
All I have in this world is my writing, and when I am long gone, it will be all that's left of me. I want the world to know I just didn't curl up in a ball, that I really tried to make something of this life, even if it is, as my mom would have said, "only poetry."
Curt
Comment from adewpearl
Curt, as always, your quatrains have smooth flow and strong rhyming couplets - I particularly like the clever rhyming pair of hull/invisible. The stark and harrowing details you include relate your experiences with an emotional intensity and honesty that draw the reader in and allow him/her to understand as well as an outsider can understand, the tragic nature of your experience. A powerful poem, my friend. Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Curt, as always, your quatrains have smooth flow and strong rhyming couplets - I particularly like the clever rhyming pair of hull/invisible. The stark and harrowing details you include relate your experiences with an emotional intensity and honesty that draw the reader in and allow him/her to understand as well as an outsider can understand, the tragic nature of your experience. A powerful poem, my friend. Brooke
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you Brooke,
I hadn't planned on coming back with what I am sure is getting to be a tiresome subject for some to read. But, it's either write about it, or take some pills and wash them down with a generous dose of alcohol and be numb. But you see, I did that a lot in my past too, and it really didn't help, because you always have to come back to reality sooner or later.
Maybe someday I can write about happy things, or nature, or something frilly like that, but for now, the weeds are way too high for me to see any flowers.
Take care my friend,
Curt
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I believe an artist has to remain true to himself and write about what is on his mind and in his heart - anyone who is pressuring you to write about daffodils doesn't "get" it, Curt :-)
Comment from mermaids
Powerful and vivid. unfortunately, many can relate to your words and clear picture of this violation of an individual. Great verses and flow of words, no revisions needed.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Powerful and vivid. unfortunately, many can relate to your words and clear picture of this violation of an individual. Great verses and flow of words, no revisions needed.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your thoughts my friend, I truly do appreciate your time.
Curt
Comment from Adri7enne
God, it's such a nightmarish idea that you should have gone through such horror. I wish I could wave a wand and erase it from your experience. Writing about it should provide some healing, Curt. At best, it will confirm that you are innocent, and still whole, while the damaged goods is the perpetrator of such horror. None of it diminishes you.
Keep writing, my friend. Opening up the wounds will dry up that pool of memories and pain.
Gut wrenching stuff, Curt. Sorry you had to go through such horror. You've earned your way to all that talent. Good writing.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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God, it's such a nightmarish idea that you should have gone through such horror. I wish I could wave a wand and erase it from your experience. Writing about it should provide some healing, Curt. At best, it will confirm that you are innocent, and still whole, while the damaged goods is the perpetrator of such horror. None of it diminishes you.
Keep writing, my friend. Opening up the wounds will dry up that pool of memories and pain.
Gut wrenching stuff, Curt. Sorry you had to go through such horror. You've earned your way to all that talent. Good writing.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hello my friend,
Thank you for the thoughts on this piece. Trying to make sense of a life that has been filled with abuse isn't the easiest thing to do, but I have to hold onto something. Even if I don't know why, I have to believe that everything happens for a reason, or else I would just let go. It would be so easy to do that and end the suffering once and for all, but I'm still here, so it must mean something. Right?
Thanks again my friend,
Curt
Comment from sgalletti
Fabulous rhyming couplets which ususally come off as children's poems but in this case come off as powerful! What imagery you convey so beautifully! And, a story that is real, unfortunately...Great piece of writing. Sue
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Fabulous rhyming couplets which ususally come off as children's poems but in this case come off as powerful! What imagery you convey so beautifully! And, a story that is real, unfortunately...Great piece of writing. Sue
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you Sue,
I always appreciate your thoughts on my work, and I am touched by your rating and comments.
Curt
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi Curt,
I sit here starring at the screen struggling to convey the emotions your poem has left me with. I have been a member of FS since 2007 and I don't believe I have ever read a more tragic and yet powerful piece of poetry. As a surivor of abuse myself, it has always been hard for me to express my feelings and I can certainly relate to your words. I do hope that by writing you will be able to work through some of your pain. My heart goes out to you.
As far as your writing your poem clearly conveys your feelings. Your rhyme and flow are exceptional and for this the stars are yours. Best wishes and have a blessed afternoon.
Becky
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hi Curt,
I sit here starring at the screen struggling to convey the emotions your poem has left me with. I have been a member of FS since 2007 and I don't believe I have ever read a more tragic and yet powerful piece of poetry. As a surivor of abuse myself, it has always been hard for me to express my feelings and I can certainly relate to your words. I do hope that by writing you will be able to work through some of your pain. My heart goes out to you.
As far as your writing your poem clearly conveys your feelings. Your rhyme and flow are exceptional and for this the stars are yours. Best wishes and have a blessed afternoon.
Becky
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you Becky.
I cannot express what it means to me that a survivor such as yourself finds something in this work that touches you inside.
I know that writing has helped a lot, as has years of counseling with sex offenders, trying desperately to find an answer for why these things happen. Unfortunately, I have no one answer.
I think that it had to happen for a reason, but if that is true, then does the offender get off with no punishment because he was just doing what was part of the plan? It gets very confusing sometimes to maintain my sanity while delving into that abyss.
Thank you once again for your thoughts and for your rating my friend,
Curt
Comment from Sally Carter
Oh Curt, after the last poem I thought nothing could be worse, but this is hardly bearable.
Your writing is extraordinary - to be able to write with such moving eloquence about such horror.
The whole poem is magnificent, but the line that really caught at my heart was:
"I lost my music somewhere deep..."
It is good to see you back, but I am sorry you are still suffering. I hope one day the "always" in the last line may change.
Yours, Sally
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Oh Curt, after the last poem I thought nothing could be worse, but this is hardly bearable.
Your writing is extraordinary - to be able to write with such moving eloquence about such horror.
The whole poem is magnificent, but the line that really caught at my heart was:
"I lost my music somewhere deep..."
It is good to see you back, but I am sorry you are still suffering. I hope one day the "always" in the last line may change.
Yours, Sally
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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After forty plus years, I doubt I will ever feel "normal." Hell, I don't even know what that means. I am what I am, a broken box with crumpled contents, and I know that every failure in my life is in some way tied to my past, yet I cannot break the chains that bind my soul. I have never had a stable relationship, never been in love, never held a job for more than a few years without either running away or doing something to get fired, and I know nothing different of life than this. Some hurdles are just too damn high for me to jump over.
I truly do apppreciate your tyhoughts and your rating Sally, thank you again.
Curt
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Hey Curt, good question. What is "normal"? When you talk about damaged goods, the only metaphor I can come up with is that if a box of jewellery is dented and some of the contents have fallen apart, they are still precious metal and gleaming jewels. S
Comment from Realist101
Dear Curt, your writing is alive with truth, pain, and a very healthy sense of yourself. As you fight these demons, you will hopefully expell them from your soul...I am glad to see you writing again, and hope with all my heart you are ok. Please know, you are not alone...us who are damaged, are worthwhile and valuable too. Love, Susan
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Dear Curt, your writing is alive with truth, pain, and a very healthy sense of yourself. As you fight these demons, you will hopefully expell them from your soul...I am glad to see you writing again, and hope with all my heart you are ok. Please know, you are not alone...us who are damaged, are worthwhile and valuable too. Love, Susan
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you my dear friend Susan,
I try, I really do try to feel that my life is worthwhile, but there are times when it all seems to bear down on me at once. I am so glad to have a friend in you.
Curt
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I know, I sit and contemplate what not being alive would be...but then, I see the butterflys, the horses out in the field, the sun shining...and suddenly, unexpectedly, a friend needing a kind word, and life becomes meaningful again. You are needed, more than you know. Your kindness has pulled me up at times when I felt so alone. Please never fear talking to me, or any of us here my friend...we missed you these passed few weeks...I know I did. I am very glad to hear from you, no matter the circumstance Curt...Susan