My Professional Pedicure Nightmare
An excerpt from my 2007 annual family Christmas letter42 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Mary. I suspect I made a similar comment to this last time I reviewed one of your stories - there are a thousand laughs here, but it's too damn long!
You certainly know how to take an embarrassing incident and parlay it into a major event, with a ton of amusement at your own expense. However, I suspect some readers here will have given up before they get to the pay window. You made a wise decision to foreshadow the coming debacle right at the beginning, but then seven further paragraphs to detail the etymology of the word 'thong'?? When really neither the word nor the object played a key role in the story...
I'm not denying that I got plenty of chuckles out of the aforesaid seven paragraphs, but that's about five too many. Incidentally, while our trans-Tasman cousins, the Australians, have similar problems with 'that' word, we in New Zealand wisely have never worn thongs on our feet - we have always worn Jandals. Just like in Arizona, they are popular all-season footwear. In fact a recent facebook post here was captioned 'Breaking out the winter wardrobe' and boasted a photo of a pair of feet wearing Jandals - with socks! See, now I'm getting into the digressing business... I suspect the first occasion I became aware of thong on its sense of underwear may have had something to do with Monica Lewinsky!
Your description of the scene in the salon is wonderful, but again, I reckon I could edit out a few paragraphs and you would never notice they were gone.
I don't want to harp on about it - I can see the rambling story-telling is part of your style, and for the most part it works well, very well. The ability to use hyperbole and to call a spade an unautomated, user operated, excavation device is a rare quality.
Steve
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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Hi, Mary. I suspect I made a similar comment to this last time I reviewed one of your stories - there are a thousand laughs here, but it's too damn long!
You certainly know how to take an embarrassing incident and parlay it into a major event, with a ton of amusement at your own expense. However, I suspect some readers here will have given up before they get to the pay window. You made a wise decision to foreshadow the coming debacle right at the beginning, but then seven further paragraphs to detail the etymology of the word 'thong'?? When really neither the word nor the object played a key role in the story...
I'm not denying that I got plenty of chuckles out of the aforesaid seven paragraphs, but that's about five too many. Incidentally, while our trans-Tasman cousins, the Australians, have similar problems with 'that' word, we in New Zealand wisely have never worn thongs on our feet - we have always worn Jandals. Just like in Arizona, they are popular all-season footwear. In fact a recent facebook post here was captioned 'Breaking out the winter wardrobe' and boasted a photo of a pair of feet wearing Jandals - with socks! See, now I'm getting into the digressing business... I suspect the first occasion I became aware of thong on its sense of underwear may have had something to do with Monica Lewinsky!
Your description of the scene in the salon is wonderful, but again, I reckon I could edit out a few paragraphs and you would never notice they were gone.
I don't want to harp on about it - I can see the rambling story-telling is part of your style, and for the most part it works well, very well. The ability to use hyperbole and to call a spade an unautomated, user operated, excavation device is a rare quality.
Steve
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Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Kiwisteveh, thank you for another honest review of my work, and for the hanging in factor. It is long, and I completely get what you expressed with regard to condensing it...you were not alone in that thought as I read my reviews on it. I will keep that in mind. I blame it on my Irish heritage...wordy, wordy, wordy! Harp away.
Have an awesome week, and thanks again for the continued follow :)
Comment from chcbeck
Great read truly had me in stitches. Love the style of writing really keeping it real. I love the way you switch subjects with regards to the meaning of thongs. A great write.
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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Great read truly had me in stitches. Love the style of writing really keeping it real. I love the way you switch subjects with regards to the meaning of thongs. A great write.
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Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for committing to a longer read, a rare commodity I'm finding on FS. I enjoyed your review and comments, and the excellent rating. Have a wonderful day!