haiku (shifting moonbeams stream)
Moon Haiku Promt entry90 total reviews
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
Well Dean you always do well with the Tales from the dark side themes..This was no exception Short and eerie just like it was supposed to be
tk
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
Well Dean you always do well with the Tales from the dark side themes..This was no exception Short and eerie just like it was supposed to be
tk
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Thanks a bunch, tk. I really appreciate the review.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi Dean. Well you nailed the writing prompt rules:-) This is a wonderful piece,what great imagery! I love the twist you put on amoon theme.padumachitta
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
Hi Dean. Well you nailed the writing prompt rules:-) This is a wonderful piece,what great imagery! I love the twist you put on amoon theme.padumachitta
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2014
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Thank you, padu. I really am grateful for your wonderful assessment of this haiku. Much obliged, my friend.
Comment from Capricorn30
Good alliteration in a well-penned, haunting poem;
Moon and graveyards complement one another in an eerie manner, particularly at Halloween;
"twixt"--like the incorporation of this word;
Excellent!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
Good alliteration in a well-penned, haunting poem;
Moon and graveyards complement one another in an eerie manner, particularly at Halloween;
"twixt"--like the incorporation of this word;
Excellent!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Capricorn 30. I truly appreciate your kind assessment and review.
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Sure,
you're welcome, Dean
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Perfect haiku in exactly 17 syllables. Both poem and picture are perfect. Your style is very obvious and anyone would guess this is yours' Good last line - nice alliteration. Read your author notes too late. I'd already did the syllable count with my fingers - old fashioned way. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
Perfect haiku in exactly 17 syllables. Both poem and picture are perfect. Your style is very obvious and anyone would guess this is yours' Good last line - nice alliteration. Read your author notes too late. I'd already did the syllable count with my fingers - old fashioned way. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Dorothy. I really appreciate it.
The syllable counter is more for my benefit than anything else. After being disqualified for improper syllable counts on my last two contest attempts, I thought it best to rely on good old technology for a change, LOL.
Much obliged, my dear friend.
Comment from Delahay
A very well written poem that is greatly enhanced by the picture chosen to accompany it. I am impressed at the ability to say so much, invoke such an image, with so few words.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
A very well written poem that is greatly enhanced by the picture chosen to accompany it. I am impressed at the ability to say so much, invoke such an image, with so few words.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much for your stellar review, WardHays., I'm very grateful and glad you liked it.
Comment from Petriesan
what an eerie picture...
the words of the poem invoke the surreal aspect of the scene. I Like the phrase spectral silhouettes
very well written
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
what an eerie picture...
the words of the poem invoke the surreal aspect of the scene. I Like the phrase spectral silhouettes
very well written
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thank you for your kind review, Petriesan. I appreciate it.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Dean - well penned haiku, solid format, nice strong word imagery. I especially loved line three. Great submission and good luck.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
shifting moonbeams stream
twixt crumbling ancient headstones
spectral silhouettes
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
Dear Dean - well penned haiku, solid format, nice strong word imagery. I especially loved line three. Great submission and good luck.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
shifting moonbeams stream
twixt crumbling ancient headstones
spectral silhouettes
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Maureen, and the fact that you pointed out the satori, the most integral part of a haiku poem, gives me hope.
Comment from Ekim777
The moon is a king-pin image in poetry and naturally so while the night time is the playground of our souls. And does not a graveyard come alive at night in spite of what Baudelaire says; "I am a cemetery abhorred by the moon." Your third line is surely a classic personification. But I leave with a romantic 19th century image. "The moon was a ghostly galleon, tossed upon cloudy seas." The possibilities are endless. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
The moon is a king-pin image in poetry and naturally so while the night time is the playground of our souls. And does not a graveyard come alive at night in spite of what Baudelaire says; "I am a cemetery abhorred by the moon." Your third line is surely a classic personification. But I leave with a romantic 19th century image. "The moon was a ghostly galleon, tossed upon cloudy seas." The possibilities are endless. -Ekim777
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Ekim777. I'm very glad you liked it, and I appreciate those fine references and quotes.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your very strong contest entry. You scared me, of course I scare easily. I promise not to walk through a cemetery during the night. Your poem should do very well in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
I enjoyed reading your very strong contest entry. You scared me, of course I scare easily. I promise not to walk through a cemetery during the night. Your poem should do very well in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Barbara. In reality, these old cemeteries are such peaceful places. It's good just to sit there and reflect awhile, take in the serene sounds of the whispering winds through the trees, the birds of all different species singing...
Thanks for the great review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
A beginner who has never written the first line of poetry, I have become a fan of the numerous short forms including Haiku. So few words can take an open mind to anywhere their imagination can dream up. Thanks for another of your picture of words. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
A beginner who has never written the first line of poetry, I have become a fan of the numerous short forms including Haiku. So few words can take an open mind to anywhere their imagination can dream up. Thanks for another of your picture of words. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 12-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014
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Thanks for the fine review, Ric.