Comment from annp

Exceptional

Question, how the heck do you manage to deliver a scary horror story line with believable characters with an amazing twist in 500 words?
Answer, ask Dean Kuch

Loved this
the pictures are a horror story in themselves

great contest entry
annp

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

Comment from alexgeorge

Exceptional

If this doesn't make you scream then I don't know what will!

Creepy story, the way it unfolds and then we learn that the mother was an awful person and got punished--killed--by her own daughter! Scream! Scream!

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Exceptional

Thanks! I will not look at the tribe of teddies in our house the same again.
The master of horror uses the most sacred of children's toys as a murderer's accomplice. Who'd have thought.
Twisted ... but you got me.
Clever and masterfully written and the presentation was as close to
real as I want to get.
The very best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

Ha ha, well, you couldn't pay an old horror hack any better compliment than that, seken58. I'm really very glad that you enjoyed reading it. Thank you!

Comment from marijmd

Excellent

The teddy might give me some serious nightmares!
Well baby girl is a bad ass - she must be superhuman to pack such a punch.

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

Super crazy is more like it. I've worked around some mentally handicapped people, and the strength they possess when they feel threatened or get angry is frightening!

Thank you for your opinions on this story, marjmd. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read it.

Comment from manicblue

Excellent

I love a good story filled with blood and gore. This would make a good beginning for a scary story. Well done in giving me goosies!
Lucretia

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

Goosies is a good thing, heh heh!

Thanks you for your kind (and entertaining) review, manicblue. Much obliged!

Comment from Michaelk

Excellent

Very nice. I did not see that coming. At first I thought the teddy bear was doing a 'Chucky' routine, but then you threw in your twist. I have to wonder how well daddy sleeps at night, and how many locks are on his bedroom door. Good job. I'm sure you will do well in the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

Thanks for taking a look at it, Michaelk, and giving me your opinions on the story. I really appreciate that! If I were Selena's father, I'd be sleepin' in a locked up camper somewhere out back!

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Wow! That was an unexpected ending thanks to the use of baby talk. Nice use of the teddy bear as a symbol of innocence and Selena, both with blank button eyes, I expect.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014

Yes, I'd say that both the teddy bear's and Selena's stares were pretty dag gone blank, for sure, Spit. Thanks for letting me know that the twist worked for you. It is a stated stipulation in the contest. It must be a horror story (which this is), and it must have a scary "twist" at the end. It's the first time I'd ever seen a stipulation like that in contest rules. But, I thought, what the heck...why not?

Thanks so much again.

reply by Spitfire on 27-Apr-2014

You seem to be the king of that genre on site. I'll watch for the contest.

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

Dean,

This was a good piece. I thought I had this figured out, and I couldn't have been more wrong. I think I fell for every deceiving bit of info you fed me. I should have known better than to believe Selena was a small child. When the teddy bear had the butcher's knife after Curtis and his brother, I thought for sure the bear was alive and that was why Selena was so concerned about it. Ya got me good, Dean. Nice work.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014

Thanks, Suzanne, that's what I needed to accomplish if I expect to win the contest. The rules state that the story must have a scary "twist" at the end, and I couldn't think of anything scarier than a psychopathic young woman with the mind of a child running around with a butcher's knife and dispatching the bad guys. I need constructive feedback like yours to ensure I got it right!

Thanks so much for the awesome review, my friend.

reply by TheWriteTeach on 26-Apr-2014

I thought the teddy bear being alive was the twist, but then it turned out that Selena was the twist. I love it - the twist had a twist! I think this piece is a very strong contender in the contest. Good luck!

reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014

Thanks! I hope so.

Comment from jgirlie152

Exceptional

Dean, whatever am I going to do with you? Your story was fantastic. You have the best imagination of anyone on this site. The story grew in a way no one would think. At first I thought it would be a maddened teddy bear, and who would have thought the way you began with the little girl, that she would be grown up and killed her own mother as well as murdering others. A chilling experience but most excellent.
You are on a roll, buddy.
Joan

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014

Thank so much, Joan, and as long as it ain't a dinner roll, I guess I'll be all right, lol!

Seriously, I'm very pleased that you liked this little terror tale. I really appreciate it!

Comment from BunnyS

Excellent

Good grief! I saw the picture... read your notes and said, "don't read this". But I listen to me less than my kids do! Geez that was creepy! Really good and a very surprise ending, but creepy. Wonder what I will see in my nightmares tonight... Great job! :)

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014

Thanks, BunnyS, that is exactly the kind of response I'll need if I'm going to win the contest. One of the stipulations is that the story had to have a scary "twist" at the end, and you've just confirmed for me that, for you, at least, I was able to pull it off. Thanks so much for your valuable feedback!