Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "POHA MOON, PT. 1"Murder Mystery
46 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
Animals react to strange actions, including metaphsical ones. This is very well written and held my attention. It has very good imagery.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Animals react to strange actions, including metaphsical ones. This is very well written and held my attention. It has very good imagery.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi, charlie. I actually had a dog of mine react like this to a ghost that we had in one of the houses we lived in. You're right, they are very sensitive.
Thanks for the great review, charlie. I appreciate it. Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie.
Comment from Healthyheartpoet
There seems to be a diabolical presence in this house that may be haunted. Who grabbed her shoulders with such force? Who told her to try the door again? What caused her to scream? Father O Brian is now about to confront this evil force. Very enjoyable, it has plenty of suspense and terror.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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There seems to be a diabolical presence in this house that may be haunted. Who grabbed her shoulders with such force? Who told her to try the door again? What caused her to scream? Father O Brian is now about to confront this evil force. Very enjoyable, it has plenty of suspense and terror.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Forces are buiding on many fronts at this point. The rectory is a hot spot, but there's another coming in a chapter or two. Thanks so much for your great input and generous review, HHP. I really appreciate it! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from jjstar
Oh, poor Caroline...why is the housekeepers always have to find the worst things? Great follow up to the last chapter. I loved the description of Caroline being of strong stock from a Welsh background therefore being able to deal with whatever was thrown her way. hmmmppphhhh. Seems the machine won't let me six you...another big harrruuummmmppphhhh! :)
felt liked ==felt like? hehe
One of these days I'm gonna chuck it all and migrate to Florida like most of my friends.==right there with her..
She sank her teeth into the tip of her glove and yanked upwards. Shifting a bag of groceries to her other arm, she spit the glove atop the package of Oreo cookies and ===great details!
Tired of being the brunt of poltergeist activity by the resident ghost,==that's funny!
Hadn't she just ordered the ghost to leave?===yeah, right? heheh
spine-jarring, hysterical scream of a woman in extreme terror===uh oh...not good!
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Oh, poor Caroline...why is the housekeepers always have to find the worst things? Great follow up to the last chapter. I loved the description of Caroline being of strong stock from a Welsh background therefore being able to deal with whatever was thrown her way. hmmmppphhhh. Seems the machine won't let me six you...another big harrruuummmmppphhhh! :)
felt liked ==felt like? hehe
One of these days I'm gonna chuck it all and migrate to Florida like most of my friends.==right there with her..
She sank her teeth into the tip of her glove and yanked upwards. Shifting a bag of groceries to her other arm, she spit the glove atop the package of Oreo cookies and ===great details!
Tired of being the brunt of poltergeist activity by the resident ghost,==that's funny!
Hadn't she just ordered the ghost to leave?===yeah, right? heheh
spine-jarring, hysterical scream of a woman in extreme terror===uh oh...not good!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi, jj. Thank you so much for taking such time with this review. You really help me so much be pointing out the areas you feel work. I should be giving you a six for your reviewing.
I so appreciate your support and insights, my friend. Your virtual six is a lovely thought!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Rob Caudle
Bev, another great read and super scene setting. I love the inner thoughts of Caroline. I was right in her head with you. The dog was perfect and her thoughts of him or lack of thoughts about his manner was just great. As always you have left the reader reaching to turn the page. This sentence was a bit of a bump. I get what you are trying to say its like a sixth sense type of thing that she was aware of not the common tingle of some one unaware. But the sentence jarred me just a bit. As always your writing is a pleasure to read.
her scalp tingled (in the way it had of) letting her know danger was imminent.
Rob
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Bev, another great read and super scene setting. I love the inner thoughts of Caroline. I was right in her head with you. The dog was perfect and her thoughts of him or lack of thoughts about his manner was just great. As always you have left the reader reaching to turn the page. This sentence was a bit of a bump. I get what you are trying to say its like a sixth sense type of thing that she was aware of not the common tingle of some one unaware. But the sentence jarred me just a bit. As always your writing is a pleasure to read.
her scalp tingled (in the way it had of) letting her know danger was imminent.
Rob
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi, Rob. Thank you so much for your great review, buddy! And you are right about the sentence. I had a little doubt as I read it. Will see if I can make it sound a little better. The second half of this chapter has a few more nasty little surprises Thanks so much for caring enough to follow, Rob. I sure appreciate your generosity and support! Hugs, Bev
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I love reading your work i am back more or less full time hope to post a new chapter next or so.
Comment from ratlady1111
Good use of detail and description to make the readers able to see whats happening in their minds. The character of Caroline is well presented using both her inner thought and information from the narrator.This chapter builds suspense.
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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Good use of detail and description to make the readers able to see whats happening in their minds. The character of Caroline is well presented using both her inner thought and information from the narrator.This chapter builds suspense.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi, ratlady. I thank you much for taking time out to read my chapter. I appreciate your insights and generosity very much! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from EMB
Well, this was definitely an intense chapter for Caroline. She seems a strong character, but even I knew that "Get out" just wasn't gonna cut it. LOL This was very entertaining, Bev. Great job.
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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Well, this was definitely an intense chapter for Caroline. She seems a strong character, but even I knew that "Get out" just wasn't gonna cut it. LOL This was very entertaining, Bev. Great job.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Edward. You made me laugh with that comment on Caroline's naivete! Thank you so much for taking time to read. I appreciate your generous review and supportive insights. Warm regards, Bev