Lessons Learned and Spiritual
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Chasing Mr Ego"Do good and feel good poems
50 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, I'm surprised Mr. 'I' was able the get his big head
through the door. You did a great job with your contest
entry, mystery Author. The lines flowed smoothly throughout
the poem, and the rhymes worked perfectly. Great job
carrying them thought the length of the poem. Hopefully,
Miss Aretha's song will hit him upside the head and pound
some respect in his ol' head/ The song was a great addition to.
Thanks for sharing, and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Well, I'm surprised Mr. 'I' was able the get his big head
through the door. You did a great job with your contest
entry, mystery Author. The lines flowed smoothly throughout
the poem, and the rhymes worked perfectly. Great job
carrying them thought the length of the poem. Hopefully,
Miss Aretha's song will hit him upside the head and pound
some respect in his ol' head/ The song was a great addition to.
Thanks for sharing, and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Jan, thank you for your awesome review, words and six stars. You are so kind, and so appreciated,
Comment from Zoe Webb
I liked this. It was thoughtful and had a very clear story about a woman trying to date an egomaniac. :) I like the image choice and styling as well.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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I liked this. It was thoughtful and had a very clear story about a woman trying to date an egomaniac. :) I like the image choice and styling as well.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Zoe, thank you for your awesome review and words. You are so kind, and so appreciated, my friend!
Comment from GWHARGIS
This deserved a six but I used mine too quickly. This was a rollicking, rhythmical rhyme that had me smiling at the start and chuckling at the end. Get him, Aretha. Lol. Gretchen
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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This deserved a six but I used mine too quickly. This was a rollicking, rhythmical rhyme that had me smiling at the start and chuckling at the end. Get him, Aretha. Lol. Gretchen
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Awe Gretchen, I thank you for your awesome review and words. You are so kind, and so appreciated, my friend!
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Yes, I have known people like this, an ego is really a terrible thing, I'm so glad I don't have one. =} Even on here. I gave a guy a 5 and he was ticked because he always got 6's. I find that hard to believe. People are funny. You just have to laugh sometimes. Very well done, didn't see any errors or suggestions to improve.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Yes, I have known people like this, an ego is really a terrible thing, I'm so glad I don't have one. =} Even on here. I gave a guy a 5 and he was ticked because he always got 6's. I find that hard to believe. People are funny. You just have to laugh sometimes. Very well done, didn't see any errors or suggestions to improve.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Well Roxanna, I am pleased as can be with your five stars. And I thank you so much. It was a fun poem to do because it was a bit of a challenge with the rhyme scheme. So thanks my dear friend.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a fun post and those guys with a big ego don't really deserve any respect, but this is a bit of lighthearted fun and I enjoyed the play on words, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x. PS: I love that song! Ha ha ha x x x
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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This is a fun post and those guys with a big ego don't really deserve any respect, but this is a bit of lighthearted fun and I enjoyed the play on words, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x. PS: I love that song! Ha ha ha x x x
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Thank you Dolly. I appreciate your kind comments so much my friend. Thanks again!
Comment from Eleri
This is an amusing take on a bad relationship. The rhyming is good and so is the rhythm but I think that your third line could have been better. I know what you mean that it does seem a bit contrived. Nevertheless I do like this poem so good luck with it
Eleri
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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This is an amusing take on a bad relationship. The rhyming is good and so is the rhythm but I think that your third line could have been better. I know what you mean that it does seem a bit contrived. Nevertheless I do like this poem so good luck with it
Eleri
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Thank you Eleri. I appreciate such a kind review and comments. That line with 'I', I just put exclamation marks like here. That was my favorite line, lol, and thought it to be kinda clever, so I hope that helps. Thanks again dear friend.
Comment from Paul Manton
Love the song, love the poem - and particularly that you were able to sustain the 'I' rhyme - and indeed, the 'eye-rhyme'! I weep for women who are as undiscerning as our lady here. You won't be surprised to know that in the UK, as in the US, we have plenty of good women hitched to plenty of bad men. I know it happens the other way round too - but the consequences are tragic in all cases.
Thanks that you could put this into such a light-hearted poem, with a form abab that carries it so well - but the miraculous thing in this piece is that it remains abab for the whole poem! That takes real skill. Brilliant!
Paul
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Love the song, love the poem - and particularly that you were able to sustain the 'I' rhyme - and indeed, the 'eye-rhyme'! I weep for women who are as undiscerning as our lady here. You won't be surprised to know that in the UK, as in the US, we have plenty of good women hitched to plenty of bad men. I know it happens the other way round too - but the consequences are tragic in all cases.
Thanks that you could put this into such a light-hearted poem, with a form abab that carries it so well - but the miraculous thing in this piece is that it remains abab for the whole poem! That takes real skill. Brilliant!
Paul
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Paul, I sure appreciate your very kind review and comments. Thank you so much, my dear friend.
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You're welcome.
Paul
Comment from Jim Wile
This was very well done. Hopefully she learns the lesson that in the long run, it doesn't do any good to try to live a lie. And it sounds like she would be better off without an egotist like the guy she is after for his looks and apparent wealth and fame. It would not have ended well.
Great rhyme and meter in this poem. Good job. Jim
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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This was very well done. Hopefully she learns the lesson that in the long run, it doesn't do any good to try to live a lie. And it sounds like she would be better off without an egotist like the guy she is after for his looks and apparent wealth and fame. It would not have ended well.
Great rhyme and meter in this poem. Good job. Jim
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Thanks so much Jim. Just have to ask you because I just came back from adding in my notes. Did you get the last line about Aretha. That was supposed to be a little comical and I had one who must be younger that did not get it. So appreciate if you could let me know. Thanks again for the kind words.
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Yep, got it.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are so true! The poem made me smile. These words had a message, were descriptive and creative. I pondered on these words and found the author defined well a lack of respect! The poem flows and connects well. Thank you for the music it fits so well with these words. Have a great week!......Maria
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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The author's words are so true! The poem made me smile. These words had a message, were descriptive and creative. I pondered on these words and found the author defined well a lack of respect! The poem flows and connects well. Thank you for the music it fits so well with these words. Have a great week!......Maria
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Hi Maria. Did you get right away who Aretha was? I just who had one who didn't get that part. I supppose they might be younger. Thanks for the great review and comments Sweetie and dear friend.
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Yes, I did get right away who Aretha
is! I really like the song you chose,
I use to listen to it all the time!
Comment from JSD
Really clever to sustain the two rhymes as far as you do. It works really well on the whole although I'm not quite sure about the sense of your last stanza. Maybe I'm just being dense. Good luck in the competition.
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Really clever to sustain the two rhymes as far as you do. It works really well on the whole although I'm not quite sure about the sense of your last stanza. Maybe I'm just being dense. Good luck in the competition.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Hahaha! I bet you are too young to get it but Aretha Franklin is famous for her song, "Respect". That is why the music is right there with the song.
It is the first thing here that everyone thinks about when someone mentions respect. They always think of her as she is a classic. Just like you think of Bing Crosby w White Christmas. Does that make any sense? I think I best add that to my notes tho. Don't you think?
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No I got the reference. But who needs to learn about respect? I thought it should be him, but you say 'she'. (I'm 59!)
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Lol, being a woman, we teach that you don't get respect chasing a hopeless dream and making a fool out of yourself. But I do get your point and may go change it a little. Thank you so much for that feedback. I do appreciate it.
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Cool. Thanks for not being cross! My feeling is that he needs to learn why he should treat her with more respect?
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I believe you are absolutely right. I think I was looking at it a little differently but now you have me rethinking that. Thank you.. You may want to read again later and see how it looks.
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I completely changed the theme of this poem as I looked at it the way you did. Could you read again and tell me what you get if you get a chance? Thanks my friend.
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Blimey. I feel honoured. Gimme a sec.
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Well I think that works really well. (Missing word in line 13 though. Lol.). It's so nice to be able to exchange views so politely and nicely. Thank you. X
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OMGosh thank you for catching the missing word. I was trying to change so fast before anyone else saw it. And thanks for the kind comments about the new version. You were a great friend my dear friend.
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I meant you were great my dear friend. Lol