My Professional Pedicure Nightmare
An excerpt from my 2007 annual family Christmas letter42 total reviews
Comment from MTF1955
Damn I got tears rollong down my face! You have got to get all these stories published so I can buy Them PLEASE! You are a master at humor. More please the world doesn't have enough laughter but I just got mine. Thanks Mary
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Damn I got tears rollong down my face! You have got to get all these stories published so I can buy Them PLEASE! You are a master at humor. More please the world doesn't have enough laughter but I just got mine. Thanks Mary
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Thank you, thank you, for the review and the tears :) You are the first, I believe to mention the publish word...then to top it off with a SIX...my day is made! You will be one of the first to know if and when that happens :) Thank you so very much for the confidence booster. Have a great day!
Comment from Dawn Munro
First, I am compelled to ask, what in the fooking world is WRONG with you? Such a ridiculously funny story and you spoil it all by spelling "Febreze" wrong? (LOL)
Next, fix this fragmented sentence please - "A few toenails sporting dust fibers..." - just add it to the sentence before, putting a comma in between (after "pigs").
You live an exciting life. And you write real good. (LOL) All kidding aside, Mary, your writing is only exceeded in exceptional-ism (yes, I made it up) by your extraordinary sense of humour. (I am Canadian - that IS how the word is spelled, so knock off the criticism. LOL)
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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First, I am compelled to ask, what in the fooking world is WRONG with you? Such a ridiculously funny story and you spoil it all by spelling "Febreze" wrong? (LOL)
Next, fix this fragmented sentence please - "A few toenails sporting dust fibers..." - just add it to the sentence before, putting a comma in between (after "pigs").
You live an exciting life. And you write real good. (LOL) All kidding aside, Mary, your writing is only exceeded in exceptional-ism (yes, I made it up) by your extraordinary sense of humour. (I am Canadian - that IS how the word is spelled, so knock off the criticism. LOL)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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HAHAHAHA, oh Dawn. You are going to die when I tell you I actually Google'd Febreze specifically for the spelling. (Google took less energy than getting up and walking to the laundry room to check my bottle). I was more focused on the breeze vs. breze part than on the Fa vs. Fe part, obviously! I must have been thinking of the Fabio fake butter guy when I type Fabreze, the fake fresh spray :) Regardless, I appreciate the catch. I fixed the sentence post-haste, so the toe fibers are contained. :) My life isn't all that exciting trust me. Yesterday, I laid in bed sick while my daughter's two bulldogs ate my carpeting in the other room...
I absolutely love your critiques and your compliments, and your assist in how to upload a video, in fact, I need to go add that to my author's notes. Now if you can teach me how to upload a photo in the community comments sections and in the author's notes sections, that would be awesome!
The SIX was awesome to see too, in spite of my blowing Febreze!
Have a great day, Dawn!
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Errrr, uh, ummmm, in the WHAT sections do you want to add photos?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG, I can't believe ANYone is actually asking me about anything TECHNICAL - ME!!! If you only knew how challenged I am...you have pictures everywhere I know how to add them I think, but sure, if I know where you mean (and I know how) I'd be glad to help. But be warned...
My ineptitude is legendary.
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I can add pictures as long as I have a little paperclip icon or something like that (Fbook), but FS doesn't seem to have that option. The video upload was killin' me. That was a huge help. Dean and Mastery have those cool little moving things, but I'm happy with still shots and video. I don't want to exceed my own expectations if you know what I mean :)
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Fbook? Paperclip icon? See? Told ya - I have no clue how to add a picture that is not in my file already on Fbook...LOL
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I can add pictures as long as I have a little paperclip icon or something like that (Fbook), but FS doesn't seem to have that option. The video upload was killin' me. That was a huge help. Dean and Mastery have those cool little moving things, but I'm happy with still shots and video. I don't want to exceed my own expectations if you know what I mean :)
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Exactly!! I'm lost without the little paper clip icon 😐 and I know exactly what you mean about exceeding expectations :) someone's i have a breakthrough discovery but then the next time I try it at a later time, i can't remember how I did it the last time!!
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I can add pictures as long as I have a little paperclip icon or something like that (Fbook), but FS doesn't seem to have that option. The video upload was killin' me. That was a huge help. Dean and Mastery have those cool little moving things, but I'm happy with still shots and video. I don't want to exceed my own expectations if you know what I mean :)
Comment from jlsavell
Okay Mary Wakeford,
You can write! This is one of the most entertaining stories I have ever read! Hysterical. Dialogue exceptional with characterizations. Imagery superb. Laughter level, above containment. I thought I would wet my pants! Funny, so funny.
I am on my way to fan you.
Jlsavell
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Okay Mary Wakeford,
You can write! This is one of the most entertaining stories I have ever read! Hysterical. Dialogue exceptional with characterizations. Imagery superb. Laughter level, above containment. I thought I would wet my pants! Funny, so funny.
I am on my way to fan you.
Jlsavell
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Thank you
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Wow, thank you so very much, Jlsavell, for the fabulous review, the wonderful SIX, and best of all, the follow! I hope I live up to your expectations given all that confidence you've allowed :) I've been dinged a bit for the length of it, and one couldn't get past the hairy leg/toe jam, so I appreciate all of you who hung in there to the end. :) You review made my day! Have a great day!
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
OMG LOL LMAO ROFL and any other letters I can add.
I have not read anything so wonderful that took my dull day and made it so much fun.
this it true? OMG I love it. No problems noted except that I wet myself but that is my problem but a compliment to your writing.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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OMG LOL LMAO ROFL and any other letters I can add.
I have not read anything so wonderful that took my dull day and made it so much fun.
this it true? OMG I love it. No problems noted except that I wet myself but that is my problem but a compliment to your writing.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Barb, Barb, Barb, I wet my pants reading your review. I'm not sure why I had a different impression of you with all your proper mom advice stories and what am I's, but I was delighted to read your reaction. You are too funny, and should write humor as well! That paragraph was $$$. Thank you, for what I believe, is my first SIX from you too :) Have a wonderful day.
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I tell everyone I am 65...oh no that is wrong I gained a year...66 and that I cant be held responsible for anything I do.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Funny stuff! You definitely tickle my humor bone. I enjoyed this piece. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
warm bacteria laced water--suggest a comma after warm and bacteria-laced
depant's-- I don't believe you need a possessive her and also this is present tense. Suggest depantsed.
easy access of my legs nto a large tank -- typo into?
I didn't spot any carp swimming in the water so my tension level subsided a tadpole.-- suggest comma before so. Was tadpole intentional? I paused on it and then laughed and looked again.
then ncluded clients -- included
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Funny stuff! You definitely tickle my humor bone. I enjoyed this piece. I found a couple of things for your consideration.
warm bacteria laced water--suggest a comma after warm and bacteria-laced
depant's-- I don't believe you need a possessive her and also this is present tense. Suggest depantsed.
easy access of my legs nto a large tank -- typo into?
I didn't spot any carp swimming in the water so my tension level subsided a tadpole.-- suggest comma before so. Was tadpole intentional? I paused on it and then laughed and looked again.
then ncluded clients -- included
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Hi Russell, thank you so very much for the catches...I have corrected them all. It always amazes me the stuff that squeaks by my eye after thorough edit's before I even post a story, so I appreciate you. The tadpole was intentional, but with your query, I have added a note to that effect in my notes. Thank you for a terrific review!
Comment from Dustybones
Being a guy, I aways wondered about nail and beauty salons and how they might differ from going to a barber shop. Now I know...I'm glad for a place where men can feel like a man. dustybones
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Being a guy, I aways wondered about nail and beauty salons and how they might differ from going to a barber shop. Now I know...I'm glad for a place where men can feel like a man. dustybones
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Well now you know...they are overrated, in my humble opinion. I'm more tomboy than princess type. Thank you for the excellent review, dustybones.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Mary,
You gave me some good laughs with this story. There's truly nothing funnier than things that happen in real-life situations. You can't make this stuff up.
This was cleverly written. You truly are a gifted writer. Humour is one of the hardest things to write, and you are a master. As a writer, you are superb at creating perfect imagery for your reader too... and funny imagery at that! There were many great parts to your write. Of particular note to this reader were:
"I cannot personally attest to the 'slippery when wet' aspect as it relates to foot thongs vs. rubber thongs" ... sooo funny!
"pulsating hub" ... terrific imagery!
"Ahrnollt" ... loved your Zsa Zsa accent!
"Pants on the Floor song" .... hahahaha! ... you bring the reader's mind to something else they have seen that made them crack up.
I also loved your interpretation of how the ladies spoke Vietnamese. :) ... bang on!
I got a real chuckle out of the accompanying video too.
My only suggestion (and that's all it is Mary) ... my own personal opinion ... would be to shorten the length of your write. I found it too long. I think that some readers will give up part way through as they don't want to read a long story.
A great job on this write, Mary! You put a lot of effort into your write, and it shows! I loved it!
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Hi Mary,
You gave me some good laughs with this story. There's truly nothing funnier than things that happen in real-life situations. You can't make this stuff up.
This was cleverly written. You truly are a gifted writer. Humour is one of the hardest things to write, and you are a master. As a writer, you are superb at creating perfect imagery for your reader too... and funny imagery at that! There were many great parts to your write. Of particular note to this reader were:
"I cannot personally attest to the 'slippery when wet' aspect as it relates to foot thongs vs. rubber thongs" ... sooo funny!
"pulsating hub" ... terrific imagery!
"Ahrnollt" ... loved your Zsa Zsa accent!
"Pants on the Floor song" .... hahahaha! ... you bring the reader's mind to something else they have seen that made them crack up.
I also loved your interpretation of how the ladies spoke Vietnamese. :) ... bang on!
I got a real chuckle out of the accompanying video too.
My only suggestion (and that's all it is Mary) ... my own personal opinion ... would be to shorten the length of your write. I found it too long. I think that some readers will give up part way through as they don't want to read a long story.
A great job on this write, Mary! You put a lot of effort into your write, and it shows! I loved it!
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Good morning, Connie. Thank you for the wonderful review and the fabulous SIX! I love reading your reviews on my work and take to heart your compliments as well as your suggestions. You are one of several to comment on the length, so that is something I know to work on. I think it comes with my Irish heritage...wordy as hell! Thank you for outlining your favorite parts, and for hanging in to the end. One reviewer couldn't get past the hairy legs and toe jam, but was still kind enough to give a five :) Have a great day!
Comment from Douglas Paul
LOL - fun story. I can imagine you were pretty embarrassed. You writing flows smoothly and is filled with humorous little observations. Well done, Mary
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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LOL - fun story. I can imagine you were pretty embarrassed. You writing flows smoothly and is filled with humorous little observations. Well done, Mary
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Hi Doug, thank you for the lovely review and five stars. I appreciate your time in taking on the longer read. Have a great day, hope your feeling well.
Comment from LisaD123
I have finally finished laughing, wiped the tears from my eyes and I am now ready to compose a review ... still chuckling ... Right, ready!
Poor you! I work with a lot of Australians and the 'thongs' as shoes is always good for a laugh. The structure of the piece is very well-crafted and the interweaving of the past and present is cleverly executed and you have presented the mother/daughter relationship with much lunch. Thanks for sharing.
P.S Just a little query about depant's
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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I have finally finished laughing, wiped the tears from my eyes and I am now ready to compose a review ... still chuckling ... Right, ready!
Poor you! I work with a lot of Australians and the 'thongs' as shoes is always good for a laugh. The structure of the piece is very well-crafted and the interweaving of the past and present is cleverly executed and you have presented the mother/daughter relationship with much lunch. Thanks for sharing.
P.S Just a little query about depant's
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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HAHA, thank you so much LisaD123 for your review and special SIX! God I love seeing those gems...they are so few and far between ;) Thank you for hanging in for the long read, most won't on FS. I appreciate you! Have a wonderful day!
Comment from Kooky Clown
I just had to award a six as this has to be one of the funniest true stories I have read for a long time what a hoot. I am so pleased that you decided to share it with us. I remember the 'flip-flops' being called thongs so all that brought back memories.
Wonderful story must read it again.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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I just had to award a six as this has to be one of the funniest true stories I have read for a long time what a hoot. I am so pleased that you decided to share it with us. I remember the 'flip-flops' being called thongs so all that brought back memories.
Wonderful story must read it again.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2016
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Thank you so very much for your fabulous review and even fabulous'r SIX reward. I love seeing those anomalies on my work!
I appreciate you committing to a longer read, something I got dinged on a few times in the reviews, all deserved, I blame it on my Irish heritage. I appreciate you more than you realize. Have a great afternoon!