A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "~Bones of Robert Payne~"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
102 total reviews
Comment from gazzagodbod
Wow I took a short cut through the grave yard one night was so dark and then a dog appeared from behind a grave stone I Damon near pooped my pants lol great write gazzagodbod
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Wow I took a short cut through the grave yard one night was so dark and then a dog appeared from behind a grave stone I Damon near pooped my pants lol great write gazzagodbod
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Hah, thanks, Gaz. I woke up in a cemetery once that was just a short distance from my childhood home. I used to have a terrible sleep walking problem. It got so bad that my folks began pad locking the doors at night, as I would slip out into the darkness and wander around the neighborhood, sound asleep! Thankfully, those days are long since gone. Now, I sleep like the dead!
:D
Thanks for this fabulous review!
Comment from Darkhorse555
the soul begin oh halloween arrives really an excellent piece of writing ending in such a not a bone to pick i really enjoyed my friend i wrote muffin man for halloween check it out a witch of a write you will smile i promise that
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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the soul begin oh halloween arrives really an excellent piece of writing ending in such a not a bone to pick i really enjoyed my friend i wrote muffin man for halloween check it out a witch of a write you will smile i promise that
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Oh, your comments and review is much appreciated, my fiend! Thank you...
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as is you my friend
Comment from c_lucas
Haunted places are a dime a dozen, but the real McCoy is not noted for the impressions it makes on the young. This is well written. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Haunted places are a dime a dozen, but the real McCoy is not noted for the impressions it makes on the young. This is well written. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Charlie. They do frighten us so as youngsters, these places where ghosts and ghouls are thought to dwell...
I appreciate your thoughts and the generous rating.
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You're welcome, Dean. Charlie
Comment from elchupakabra
I don't see how this isn't a winner lol, I'm glad I happened to see this before entertaining the idea of a halloween contest. I'm not really a big fan of the holiday anymore, now that I'm a parent all I can envision is danger to my child, as well as my wallet. Anyways, I love the assonance in this piece that adds that extra touch to the linework, and as usual, your combination of music, illustration and linework is seamless. Fantastic job and best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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I don't see how this isn't a winner lol, I'm glad I happened to see this before entertaining the idea of a halloween contest. I'm not really a big fan of the holiday anymore, now that I'm a parent all I can envision is danger to my child, as well as my wallet. Anyways, I love the assonance in this piece that adds that extra touch to the linework, and as usual, your combination of music, illustration and linework is seamless. Fantastic job and best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you, elchupakabra, my friend, I'm gonna' need all of the luck I can get, as this contest is voted upon by the Fanstory committee, not our fellow readers and writers. Those types of contests, I seem to hold my own. However, with contests where the committee is involved, I've garnered only one victory. However, as Halloween is my favorite holiday (go figure, right?) of the season, I simply could not pass up the chance to enter something.
Thanks so much, again!
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No problem, and yeah, the committee definitely is a tough nut to crack, but I think the construct of the linework will hold it's own. Again, best of luck.
Comment from visionary1234
satisfyingly creepy Dean! Your print against the fabulous background is a little blurry to read though, and I can't control/copy to make notes! sorceress's would be one, and witches' another (use of possessive 's')- but a WONDERFUL Halloween poem my dear!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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satisfyingly creepy Dean! Your print against the fabulous background is a little blurry to read though, and I can't control/copy to make notes! sorceress's would be one, and witches' another (use of possessive 's')- but a WONDERFUL Halloween poem my dear!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much, Sharyn. Somehow, the clarity suffers when transporting the poem from one forum to the other. Believe me when I tell you this, I am diligently working on a solution to rectify this.
Thanks, again!
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well you're a HELL of a lot better at it than I am dear! :)S
Comment from Eternal Muse
SECOND REVIEW - I see the poem now, Dan, and it is absolutely spectacular. I can't praise it enough. I PM'd you my meter suggestions; though it is so minor compared to the overall stunned effect of this beauty.
And music was gorgeous, and provided nice accompaniment.
Lots of love, Y.
Dan, I didn't see the poem - what happened? Am I am going mad? All I see is a black screen. Perhaps, it was
changing the font color.
When the poem is up, I'll raise my rating immediately! I would love to see the poem. I just wanted to make you aware of the situation, so you can fix it - sorry for the silly stars, this is how I did it (lol).
Lots of love, Y.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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SECOND REVIEW - I see the poem now, Dan, and it is absolutely spectacular. I can't praise it enough. I PM'd you my meter suggestions; though it is so minor compared to the overall stunned effect of this beauty.
And music was gorgeous, and provided nice accompaniment.
Lots of love, Y.
Dan, I didn't see the poem - what happened? Am I am going mad? All I see is a black screen. Perhaps, it was
changing the font color.
When the poem is up, I'll raise my rating immediately! I would love to see the poem. I just wanted to make you aware of the situation, so you can fix it - sorry for the silly stars, this is how I did it (lol).
Lots of love, Y.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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~Bones of Robert Payne~
~*~
One starlit night, full moon shone bright
upon quiet, quilted valley--
The time was right to cause some fright,
master Robert couldn't tally.
He made his way where ghosts at play
were known to dance upon their graves,
and 'til this day, he'll always say--
"It's the excitement my soul craves!"
~*~
With potato sack slung o'er his back,
emptied out, prepared for filling--
Young Robert knew just what to do;
his ideas were always chilling!
He wandered down, just past the town,
to old Mulwood Cemetery,
to gather bones and cause some groans,
from the townsfolk down in Derry.
~*~
Shovel and pick, some clothing--thick
were the only things he needed,
to do the deed, satiate some need,
then, complete the plan he'd seeded.
Once he was done, the plan , he spun
'round a sorceresses fireplace.
Tomorrow night, in moons sil'vry light
all of Old Derry, he'd debase...
~*~
All Hallow's Eve arrived with glee;
as all the children in the town,
put on disguise, for they surmised,
they'd be tick or treating all around.
With much disdain, young Bobby Payne
set his wicked plan in motion,
placed the bones on damp cobblestones--
with a drop of witches potion...
~*~
The children came out, began to shout,
"Look, in the middle of the square,
wretched bones moving on their own!"--
It had given them quite a scare!
Now, to this day, folks stay away,
In Derry, down to Old Sandtown,
from Robert Payne, who's known to say;
"I've a bone to pick with this town!"
~*~
Huh, that's very strange, yentel. Perhaps I was in the middle of editing. I am at a loss as to why you could not see it. In any event, it appears to be back up, and looking fine now. Just in case, however, I've cut and pasted from my word processor the entire poem in plain test form, just for you!
Comment from RGstar
Thank you for the story and an insight to a little history in Ireland and its architecture. Great music accompanying it.
I found the music quite pleasant whilst writing the review, whilst feeling the suspense when reading the poem
As it played on , it became less haunting and more like an Elizabethan piece.
I also like the criteria around ' ''a bone to pick with this town''.
Perhaps the origin indeed for a saying we have all uttered once in time.
Equal stanzas with this verse. Consequent, continuous and feasible.
Your flow is in context with the musical background which tended to give a sense of calm as one read on.
The first part of the poem with its music brought about a sense of anticipation of the event.
It did not disappoint.
Both music and poem are rich with imagery.
You have spent sometime with this , as your usage of verb adjectives and their order is a credit to your dedication.
Easily understood and not too rich that it overpowers, i could have believed I was there that night, enjoying the warm chill that such an evening brought.
'All Hallows Eve' inferred into Christianity by Pope Boniface when the Celts refused to give up their tradition.
Hallowed ground, meaning, holy or sanctified. Hence came Halloween.
Ireland is a Unique place both in culture and tradition, even in one of struggles and separation.
Still its romanticism surrounding tradition and rituals are second to none.
You have brought that to the table, though there are many that do not know the of the dawn of Halloween and think it their own.
A wonderful piece of writing with good usage of your order of words, both in context and delivery.
I wish you well in the competition. Though I may admit an entry , should I find time.
In no shape or form would I think it in competition with yours, as it would give me great pleasure to see this win, almost as much as my own..if not equally.
A very good piece of work and enjoyable reading
Good luck. Well worth my six stars.
There is one small thing I thought of. I might of started the music, a little after the beginning of the poem , if that could be measured, because as I started to read..my thoughts was in conflict of what to concentrate on. I wanted to listen to the music, but wanted to concentrate on what was written. The music is so beautiful in respect of your writing. They fit as a glove. Just an afterthought, as it could be nice reading a couple of Stanzas then the music waifs in calmly , hauntingly and un-disturbingly.
I soon managed to balance the two though, but paused a little to listen to the music.
By the time I had reached the end, and were reading your well formed notes, in the form of what I would say...a saga :)
The music, theme, and atmosphere were in perfect equilibrium.
Once again, RGstar
RGstar
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the story and an insight to a little history in Ireland and its architecture. Great music accompanying it.
I found the music quite pleasant whilst writing the review, whilst feeling the suspense when reading the poem
As it played on , it became less haunting and more like an Elizabethan piece.
I also like the criteria around ' ''a bone to pick with this town''.
Perhaps the origin indeed for a saying we have all uttered once in time.
Equal stanzas with this verse. Consequent, continuous and feasible.
Your flow is in context with the musical background which tended to give a sense of calm as one read on.
The first part of the poem with its music brought about a sense of anticipation of the event.
It did not disappoint.
Both music and poem are rich with imagery.
You have spent sometime with this , as your usage of verb adjectives and their order is a credit to your dedication.
Easily understood and not too rich that it overpowers, i could have believed I was there that night, enjoying the warm chill that such an evening brought.
'All Hallows Eve' inferred into Christianity by Pope Boniface when the Celts refused to give up their tradition.
Hallowed ground, meaning, holy or sanctified. Hence came Halloween.
Ireland is a Unique place both in culture and tradition, even in one of struggles and separation.
Still its romanticism surrounding tradition and rituals are second to none.
You have brought that to the table, though there are many that do not know the of the dawn of Halloween and think it their own.
A wonderful piece of writing with good usage of your order of words, both in context and delivery.
I wish you well in the competition. Though I may admit an entry , should I find time.
In no shape or form would I think it in competition with yours, as it would give me great pleasure to see this win, almost as much as my own..if not equally.
A very good piece of work and enjoyable reading
Good luck. Well worth my six stars.
There is one small thing I thought of. I might of started the music, a little after the beginning of the poem , if that could be measured, because as I started to read..my thoughts was in conflict of what to concentrate on. I wanted to listen to the music, but wanted to concentrate on what was written. The music is so beautiful in respect of your writing. They fit as a glove. Just an afterthought, as it could be nice reading a couple of Stanzas then the music waifs in calmly , hauntingly and un-disturbingly.
I soon managed to balance the two though, but paused a little to listen to the music.
By the time I had reached the end, and were reading your well formed notes, in the form of what I would say...a saga :)
The music, theme, and atmosphere were in perfect equilibrium.
Once again, RGstar
RGstar
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks so much for this wonderful, in depth review, RGstar. I am honored and overwhelmed by your words. I know your reputation as a staunch reviewer, and to garner such a high rating from one who is such a stickler for perfection in their own writing and reviewing is a pleasure beyond comprehension.
I wish you luck, should you enter this contest. I would endeavor to be one of the first to read what I am certain would be a fabulously penned opponent.
Again, thank you for this spectacular review, my friend. You've made my day!
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My pleasure Sir Dean. :)
Good luck
Comment from mystery poet
This is a fantastic write to set minds on the path
to that ole' Hallowed Eve night...A great story from
the shores of Ireland, for many scary ghost stories came
from European writters and poets. The Irish and Scotch
of whom I decend can and still do love a good ghost
story...This is a gem, beginning to end. Thank you!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
|
This is a fantastic write to set minds on the path
to that ole' Hallowed Eve night...A great story from
the shores of Ireland, for many scary ghost stories came
from European writters and poets. The Irish and Scotch
of whom I decend can and still do love a good ghost
story...This is a gem, beginning to end. Thank you!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks very much, mystery poet. I am pleased to know that you enjoyed this one!
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Hi Dean...a pleasure!
Comment from misscookie
This is the first Halloween poem today and it truly got to me. I'm glad I read it in daytime or I would not be able to sleep at night.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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This is the first Halloween poem today and it truly got to me. I'm glad I read it in daytime or I would not be able to sleep at night.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Hah, well, if that's the case, then the poem did it's job, misscookie. I sincerely appreciate the kind review and five stars!
Comment from jadapenn
Very interesting tale about Halloween, Dean. I loved the read and the story behind the terrific poem. In fact, the whole poem quite chilled me. He's naughty to go tempting the spirits on a night like this. Well written and presented. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Very interesting tale about Halloween, Dean. I loved the read and the story behind the terrific poem. In fact, the whole poem quite chilled me. He's naughty to go tempting the spirits on a night like this. Well written and presented. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks so much, jada, and he certainly was a foolhardy young lad to do so!
I appreciate the review and the generous five stars...