After The Picnic
A boy remembers summer116 total reviews
Comment from Air Spirit
This is a thoroughly enjoyable read... it really took me back in time.. your words were so visually descriptive... you painted a perfect picture with your words, and the actual photograph (or picture) reverberated in harmonious agreement.. I remember some of those family picnics.. what really struck a chord with me, was the fireflies... oh, I thought (and still do) think they are magical, carrying their little magic wand of light and wonder, wherever they go.. I would chase them for hours, and had a few tenants rent out a mason-jar for a hour or so.. but, then I would always let them go.. I couldn't hold them prisoner, they had too much illuminating beauty to share with the world.. I think the opening "On a Sunday evening in July, when the company on the porch lost their faces to the creeping dark..." well, that got me hooked! It had somewhat of a haunting effect, which was perfect for the creepy things that kids (and some adults) often think come out in the dark, that had been lurking in the shadows.. Beautifully descriptive and vivid poem - thank you for sharing..
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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This is a thoroughly enjoyable read... it really took me back in time.. your words were so visually descriptive... you painted a perfect picture with your words, and the actual photograph (or picture) reverberated in harmonious agreement.. I remember some of those family picnics.. what really struck a chord with me, was the fireflies... oh, I thought (and still do) think they are magical, carrying their little magic wand of light and wonder, wherever they go.. I would chase them for hours, and had a few tenants rent out a mason-jar for a hour or so.. but, then I would always let them go.. I couldn't hold them prisoner, they had too much illuminating beauty to share with the world.. I think the opening "On a Sunday evening in July, when the company on the porch lost their faces to the creeping dark..." well, that got me hooked! It had somewhat of a haunting effect, which was perfect for the creepy things that kids (and some adults) often think come out in the dark, that had been lurking in the shadows.. Beautifully descriptive and vivid poem - thank you for sharing..
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thank you very much, Spirit. (Insert name here please) LOL. You have covered my poem so well from start to finish. I sincerely appreciate it. Bob
Comment from Ric Myworld
Those are fun times, or at least until the adults get to arguing and stumbling around. Then, someone gets mad and half the crowd goes home. LOL! Hopefully not! Thanks for sharing. :-)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Those are fun times, or at least until the adults get to arguing and stumbling around. Then, someone gets mad and half the crowd goes home. LOL! Hopefully not! Thanks for sharing. :-)
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Don. Been there done that. LOL... Bob
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Mastery, :)
A very good poem about memories. I can picture this scene.
I have to share my favorite part:
We played hide n' seek in our bathing suits (comma).
and tried to scare the girls
anyway we could-- until Grandma screamed (comma I think):
"You boys leave them alone now, or I'll get a switch."
:P
You take care,
Nome
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hello, Mastery, :)
A very good poem about memories. I can picture this scene.
I have to share my favorite part:
We played hide n' seek in our bathing suits (comma).
and tried to scare the girls
anyway we could-- until Grandma screamed (comma I think):
"You boys leave them alone now, or I'll get a switch."
:P
You take care,
Nome
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thanks Rasmine. Bob
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I just have to tell you again, this was a really cool poem filled with awesome descriptions. Keep up the writing! If I had a six left, which were all gone on Sunday, you would have received one. :D
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I just have to tell you again, this was a really cool poem filled with awesome descriptions. Keep up the writing! If I had a six left, which were all gone on Sunday, you would have received one. :D
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Thanks som much, Rasmine. Bob
Comment from DALLAS01
What a great visual this is. I could swear you were talking about one of our family picnics. Great word choices convey lively animation.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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What a great visual this is. I could swear you were talking about one of our family picnics. Great word choices convey lively animation.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thanks so much, alice. so glad you could relate. LOL...Bob
Comment from dragonpoet
This free verse poem uses strong imagery that supplies a clear picture of a family get together on a summer night. It alludes to all the senses. I like how the singe lines give the narrator's thoughts.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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This free verse poem uses strong imagery that supplies a clear picture of a family get together on a summer night. It alludes to all the senses. I like how the singe lines give the narrator's thoughts.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thanks a lot, Joan. You are always so supportive. :) Bob
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My pleasure, Bob.
Joan
Comment from nomi338
That's the way it usually goes. One minute you're having all the fun in the world and some grownup develops an attitude and now everyone is uptight and all the fun has suddenly dried up like a shallow creek in the desert at midday. Grownups always spoil little boys fun. Sigh.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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That's the way it usually goes. One minute you're having all the fun in the world and some grownup develops an attitude and now everyone is uptight and all the fun has suddenly dried up like a shallow creek in the desert at midday. Grownups always spoil little boys fun. Sigh.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hi, Nolan and yes, I guess we have all experienced such soirees LOL. Sometimes I yearn for those days though. Thanks, my friend. Bob
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Hey, those were among the best of times I have ever had or known.
Comment from Gloria ....
Really enjoyed this one too, Bob. A family picnic with all the goodies and interpersonal foibles all ending with a perfectly quiet sit on the veranda listening to the night creatures.
A most enjoyable poem.
Gloria
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Really enjoyed this one too, Bob. A family picnic with all the goodies and interpersonal foibles all ending with a perfectly quiet sit on the veranda listening to the night creatures.
A most enjoyable poem.
Gloria
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thanks, Gloria. I am glad you liked it. X Bob
Comment from Ogden
A most enjoyable read, recalling a summer night when nothing particularly noteworthy occurred. It takes a special kind of writer to make that work.
Don (aka Ogden)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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A most enjoyable read, recalling a summer night when nothing particularly noteworthy occurred. It takes a special kind of writer to make that work.
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thanks so much, Don. You are a gentleman and a scholar. (and you're from New York) Bless you. Bob
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You are most welcome, Bob.
Don
Comment from Sasha
I enjoyed this immensely. It brought back many fond memories of childhood, which is great because there were so few. The happiness of childhood is conveyed beautifully in this one. Only recently have I learned you are an excellent poet, something I have no talent for.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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I enjoyed this immensely. It brought back many fond memories of childhood, which is great because there were so few. The happiness of childhood is conveyed beautifully in this one. Only recently have I learned you are an excellent poet, something I have no talent for.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hi, Sasha. Yeah, when I joined up here in 2004 I started off writing short stories and poetry. I just figured I'd air some of them out now before i get mired down in writing my next novel. Take care, my friend and DO NOT FALL. (wink) Bob
Comment from Gert sherwood
Bob what a fun/story poem to read, it so much reminds me of the days when my parents and their friends were enjoying their selves drinking my Dad's home beer.
While my cousin and I were searching for night crawlers ( with a Flash light)
Gert
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Bob what a fun/story poem to read, it so much reminds me of the days when my parents and their friends were enjoying their selves drinking my Dad's home beer.
While my cousin and I were searching for night crawlers ( with a Flash light)
Gert
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hi, Gert. I am so glad you could relate to this. Thanks for your time and comments. Bob