Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Owaka Moon, Part 1"Murder Mystery
48 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
Aslway you have written another interesting chapter.
that keep me on the edge of my chair.
your next chapters are never dull.
I thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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Aslway you have written another interesting chapter.
that keep me on the edge of my chair.
your next chapters are never dull.
I thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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Thank you! I always appreciate hearing from you, misscookie. Hope you're staying cool in this heat! Hugs, Bev
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Your very welcome, I hope you are doing the same, the only time i go outis to go to the doctor. its real bsad out there.
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Yes, I'm sitting indoors - just like I do in the winter months. The only good time to be outside is near dusk. But I like that time of day anyway. You take care my lovely friend. Xxx Bev
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We have such an excituing life huh. (smile)
Take care.
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hehehe
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Keep smiling and laughing, until next time.
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I will! :0)
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Until next time.
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You bet, Cookie. Hugs!
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Take care until next time, my friend.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi writingfundimension
Aha, so now we have a hint of who the murderer is and how he's hiding in plain sight. Nice introduction of the distressed friend, and a chilly hint at the man behind the murder.
Didn't see any corrections, liked the dialogue and the descriptions. Well done
Patrick
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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Hi writingfundimension
Aha, so now we have a hint of who the murderer is and how he's hiding in plain sight. Nice introduction of the distressed friend, and a chilly hint at the man behind the murder.
Didn't see any corrections, liked the dialogue and the descriptions. Well done
Patrick
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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Thank you very much, Patrick. I really appreciate the support and insights. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
As always, Bev, I enjoyed reading another chapter of this mystery that you've developed. Your description and dialogue made it easy to see the old fellows congregating at McDonalds. I can't recall if Stanley has been in the novel before, so I was wondering where the connection was, but that became clear as I read on. How creepy you've made Eddie appear! Great work, my friend, and so deserving of a sixer, which I hope someone gives you since FS still won't let me do so. Otherwise, I would! Hugs, Connie
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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As always, Bev, I enjoyed reading another chapter of this mystery that you've developed. Your description and dialogue made it easy to see the old fellows congregating at McDonalds. I can't recall if Stanley has been in the novel before, so I was wondering where the connection was, but that became clear as I read on. How creepy you've made Eddie appear! Great work, my friend, and so deserving of a sixer, which I hope someone gives you since FS still won't let me do so. Otherwise, I would! Hugs, Connie
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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My dear, Connie. Thank you so much for this awesome review. I'm content with knowing you liked the chapter! So appreciate your continuing to follow along, and your words of encouragement. That means more than any star. Love ya, Bev
Comment from barkingdog
I see Evil Eddie got a part in the final scene of your chapter. You wrote him very dark and omnious. Greg better watch his back.
Loved the men at MacDonalds. They congregate here. A woman dare not go in for a breakfast sandwich on the days they sit and gawk. But your fellow seemed very normal and nice. Good friends. At the end of the first section I realized why Stanley ran over the HCP curb.
Fanastic dialogue. Your perfected this chapter, my friend. I didn't see any spags and wouldn't change a thing.
Magnificent day. Sixes are available for you and Margaret. :) ellen
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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I see Evil Eddie got a part in the final scene of your chapter. You wrote him very dark and omnious. Greg better watch his back.
Loved the men at MacDonalds. They congregate here. A woman dare not go in for a breakfast sandwich on the days they sit and gawk. But your fellow seemed very normal and nice. Good friends. At the end of the first section I realized why Stanley ran over the HCP curb.
Fanastic dialogue. Your perfected this chapter, my friend. I didn't see any spags and wouldn't change a thing.
Magnificent day. Sixes are available for you and Margaret. :) ellen
Comment Written 15-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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Thanks so much, Ellen. You are so right, the dialogue was a real bear to get right. So I'm thrilled that you noticed! And, yes, what is it about McDonald's and old guys?
Your generosity is so very much appreciated on every level, Ellen. A six from a writer of your caliber is totally awesome!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
Hmmmm, very interesting turn of events. Does Eddie always pretend to be blind?
Wow, poor Stanley took Debra's death pretty badly and Chaz had an odd reaction.... the plot thickens.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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Hmmmm, very interesting turn of events. Does Eddie always pretend to be blind?
Wow, poor Stanley took Debra's death pretty badly and Chaz had an odd reaction.... the plot thickens.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
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Thanks for continuing to follow along, Sue. I really appreciate your generosity and support. Bev
Comment from TammyGail
I always enjoy reading your chapters Bev
this was such a vivid and well written and
expressed, excellent work on your closing lines
thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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I always enjoy reading your chapters Bev
this was such a vivid and well written and
expressed, excellent work on your closing lines
thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
Comment Written 15-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Tammy, thank you kind and generous lady for this awesome review. I am honored and delighted by your words of support! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Steven Guetschow
Very well written with fantastic description. The reader can visualize each scene, I felt as if I were sitting in the booth with them. I really like the way your writing flows in a logical progression and the way you've set the stage for a possible incident as the story progresses.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Very well written with fantastic description. The reader can visualize each scene, I felt as if I were sitting in the booth with them. I really like the way your writing flows in a logical progression and the way you've set the stage for a possible incident as the story progresses.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Thank you much, Steven. I really appreciate your generous review and supportive insights. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from jjstar
Oh, my a little twisted ending. You did a great job transitioning from the last chapter to this one. I love the descriptions, the characterizations, and the twist with Debra being murdered. Awesome job!
He moved slowly and carefully -- just as he imagined a blind person would===sick and twisty---just the way I like it!
Chaz Bramer's coffee cup hit the table and, like a tower without a foundation, it came to rest on its side, sending brown liquid rivulets in multiple directions.===love this
Normally(,)???? he would
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Oh, my a little twisted ending. You did a great job transitioning from the last chapter to this one. I love the descriptions, the characterizations, and the twist with Debra being murdered. Awesome job!
He moved slowly and carefully -- just as he imagined a blind person would===sick and twisty---just the way I like it!
Chaz Bramer's coffee cup hit the table and, like a tower without a foundation, it came to rest on its side, sending brown liquid rivulets in multiple directions.===love this
Normally(,)???? he would
Comment Written 15-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Thank you much, jj. I really appreciate this great review and your insights! Your support is so very appreciated. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from c_lucas
Some people experience a major event and progress no further. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Some people experience a major event and progress no further. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Charlie, so good to hear from you. Thanks for reading and for your support! Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
Comment from melsie911
I'm usually not one for detective/crime dramas, but this was an absolutely wonderful read! I loved your description and details to put me right into the scene! I especially liked the "constipation getting you down" line...I really laughed out loud! It keeps me wanting for more :) Looking forward to the next chapter!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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I'm usually not one for detective/crime dramas, but this was an absolutely wonderful read! I loved your description and details to put me right into the scene! I especially liked the "constipation getting you down" line...I really laughed out loud! It keeps me wanting for more :) Looking forward to the next chapter!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2012
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Melsie, thank you so much, A review like yours makes the work worthwhile. I sure appreciate your support and generous review.
Warmest Regards, Bev