Sarah
Share A Story In A Poem Contest Submission60 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
The abuser gets a few minutes of pleasure while the abused has a life time of tortured memories. This is very well written with a basis of truth written in.
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The abuser gets a few minutes of pleasure while the abused has a life time of tortured memories. This is very well written with a basis of truth written in.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from steevie
a sobering poem to be sure. The content is very descriptive and each line held my attention well.the rhymes were a little shaky, bu the subject matter was more important in this chilling write. I (enjoyed)this write, as you have put your heart and soul into it.
I'm glad its not an autobio ...
a fine write
take care, Ida
steve
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a sobering poem to be sure. The content is very descriptive and each line held my attention well.the rhymes were a little shaky, bu the subject matter was more important in this chilling write. I (enjoyed)this write, as you have put your heart and soul into it.
I'm glad its not an autobio ...
a fine write
take care, Ida
steve
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from Aussie
A well written story/poem - there was nothing offensive about it. Your story is one of many along the lines of child abuse. You handled this with care as you told your version, fiction yes, facts on child abuse are astronomical. Well done poet.
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A well written story/poem - there was nothing offensive about it. Your story is one of many along the lines of child abuse. You handled this with care as you told your version, fiction yes, facts on child abuse are astronomical. Well done poet.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from Glasstruth
Very sad and disturbing, but your word selection in describing the pain in rhyme which I almost didn't pay attention to was awesome. Was focused on the meaning. Good luck with the contest! Les
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Very sad and disturbing, but your word selection in describing the pain in rhyme which I almost didn't pay attention to was awesome. Was focused on the meaning. Good luck with the contest! Les
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from HPicasso
You have mixed story telling with vivid and moving images.
You bring the readers through the gamut of emotions suffered by Sarah. It is increible that children have experience this abuse from a father. It grabbed and held my attention from beginning to end, and the writing had a pleasant flow. Thanks for sharing this sad tale, your vivid and unique imagination. Well done!
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You have mixed story telling with vivid and moving images.
You bring the readers through the gamut of emotions suffered by Sarah. It is increible that children have experience this abuse from a father. It grabbed and held my attention from beginning to end, and the writing had a pleasant flow. Thanks for sharing this sad tale, your vivid and unique imagination. Well done!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from Thomas Raine
This is a very disturbing piece of poetry, for there are many girls like Sarah out there - as a child of abuse, myself, this was particularly hard to read.
One can never fully understand the mind behind a parent that can betray their children so, and scar them in ways which truly never heal - I have had friends who, due to such scars, succumbed to a growing darkness within them and take their own lives, or become lost in drugs.
There is evil in this world, and the innocent suffer.
- TR
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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This is a very disturbing piece of poetry, for there are many girls like Sarah out there - as a child of abuse, myself, this was particularly hard to read.
One can never fully understand the mind behind a parent that can betray their children so, and scar them in ways which truly never heal - I have had friends who, due to such scars, succumbed to a growing darkness within them and take their own lives, or become lost in drugs.
There is evil in this world, and the innocent suffer.
- TR
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Too much evil if you ask me. There are too many people out there who can actually use the phrase, ``as a child of abuse myself``...it sickens me. I am sorry you suffered so. It is true too what you say...so many of the abused wind up losing themselves because the scars just don`t heal...the abusers steal the life from them and I don`t know if they ever really get it back...they take all the dreams of youthful innocence and turn them into nightmares...blessings to you and yours always and I truly hope you have found some sort of inner peace amidst the chaos that was your childhood. I also want to say thank you for the six stars...I truly appreciate them.
Comment from Anisa-
Wow ... That is probably one of the more disturbing things I have read in my life. Kind of makes you wish that all victims of this sort of abuse had the strength to kill their attackers. Problem solved.
I thought this well written, emotional, descriptive, and painted a haunting/victorious picture. Well done.
Anisa
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Wow ... That is probably one of the more disturbing things I have read in my life. Kind of makes you wish that all victims of this sort of abuse had the strength to kill their attackers. Problem solved.
I thought this well written, emotional, descriptive, and painted a haunting/victorious picture. Well done.
Anisa
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for reading and reviewing Anisa...if only justice were that easy...blessings to you.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Ida,
You have penned a great poem for the contest.Your rhyming couplets are excellent and the flow is smooth. Your word selection is expressive. While this poem isn't abut you deep emotion fills the lines. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Hi Ida,
You have penned a great poem for the contest.Your rhyming couplets are excellent and the flow is smooth. Your word selection is expressive. While this poem isn't abut you deep emotion fills the lines. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much chey, for reading and reviewing. I always appreciate your reviews...blessings.
Comment from linsbm
This is such a very sad narrative in a poem. The way it is presented is like real. The flow of thoughts runs smoothly and vividly consumed in every reader's mind. Your mental creativity shines here with the simplicity of wordings you chose and plain language. I enjoyed the read and ¡m sure every one does. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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This is such a very sad narrative in a poem. The way it is presented is like real. The flow of thoughts runs smoothly and vividly consumed in every reader's mind. Your mental creativity shines here with the simplicity of wordings you chose and plain language. I enjoyed the read and ¡m sure every one does. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thanks so much linsbm, for your words...blessings.
Comment from babylonia
it might not be a story about you or anyone you know but i can guarantee there is someone out there who has lived it once or twice. the saddest thing is that fiction and non-fiction is divided by a hair. imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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it might not be a story about you or anyone you know but i can guarantee there is someone out there who has lived it once or twice. the saddest thing is that fiction and non-fiction is divided by a hair. imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thanks so much for the six stars barbara. I know that though my story was fictional, for too many, it is the truth. Blessings to you and yours.
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for too many is soooo .... true. sigh. my heart goes out to them. sigh.
love,
barbara