Tornado descends
haiku inspired awesome power of nature43 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
It is a good haiku....with a sad message clearly conveyed.
I am not an expert, but in my reading on the traditional form of haiku, it seems that usually they do not use capital letters.
tornado descends
random destruction of lives
sadness left behind
the closing line is true, but I feel it needs more punch....to reflect the shocking effect.
How about
"sadness in its wake"
Just a thought.
Warm regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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It is a good haiku....with a sad message clearly conveyed.
I am not an expert, but in my reading on the traditional form of haiku, it seems that usually they do not use capital letters.
tornado descends
random destruction of lives
sadness left behind
the closing line is true, but I feel it needs more punch....to reflect the shocking effect.
How about
"sadness in its wake"
Just a thought.
Warm regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 14-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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i like that suggestion thank
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Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Warm regards,
rama devi
Comment from heyjude
Monte,
With a few words you've told the horror of tornadoes. When I was a child I remembering seeing one and running as fast as I could to a neighbor's cellar. They are so destructive. Very well done.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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Monte,
With a few words you've told the horror of tornadoes. When I was a child I remembering seeing one and running as fast as I could to a neighbor's cellar. They are so destructive. Very well done.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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thank you
Comment from jholmes5580
Very good. This reminds me of Greensburg, where I went to assist with disaster relief after it was demolished. It was quite humbling to try to help the people there pick up their pieces, figuratively and literally. Great job! jholmes
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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Very good. This reminds me of Greensburg, where I went to assist with disaster relief after it was demolished. It was quite humbling to try to help the people there pick up their pieces, figuratively and literally. Great job! jholmes
Comment Written 14-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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thanks so much
Comment from eraserlynch
Great poem inspired by an event that is scary. We have cyclones down under and having been through many as a child they were scary, especially when your house would shake and shake.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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Great poem inspired by an event that is scary. We have cyclones down under and having been through many as a child they were scary, especially when your house would shake and shake.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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thank you
Comment from babylonia
this is so true. i still think of the little town in kansas that was basically wiped out. luckily no one was killed. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. picture is priceless. keep up the good work~
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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this is so true. i still think of the little town in kansas that was basically wiped out. luckily no one was killed. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. picture is priceless. keep up the good work~
Comment Written 14-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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thank you
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you are very welcome~
babylonia
Comment from earthlybeing
Well written. The picture goes well with the poem. It makes sense and every word had meaning on the poem. I see nothing to edit. Thanks for sharing it. Jeanette
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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Well written. The picture goes well with the poem. It makes sense and every word had meaning on the poem. I see nothing to edit. Thanks for sharing it. Jeanette
Comment Written 14-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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thanks so much
Comment from S.Yocom
As you know, Earthwriter, it is difficult to rate a very short poem such as a haiku. However, this one, along with the picture, tells succinctly of the power of nature and the sad results. Nicely done.
Sally
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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As you know, Earthwriter, it is difficult to rate a very short poem such as a haiku. However, this one, along with the picture, tells succinctly of the power of nature and the sad results. Nicely done.
Sally
Comment Written 14-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2008
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thanks so much
Comment from honeytree
Tornado descends
Random destruction of lives
Sadness left behind
Where would one go to for protection?
I hope their could be an alternative
To death.?
I guess an underground shelter could help.
I guess their are no shelters.
Honeytree.
Tornado descends
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
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Tornado descends
Random destruction of lives
Sadness left behind
Where would one go to for protection?
I hope their could be an alternative
To death.?
I guess an underground shelter could help.
I guess their are no shelters.
Honeytree.
Tornado descends
Comment Written 13-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
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thsnk you so much for your kind words and thanks so much for the awesome rating
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I am glad you liked your review Earthwriter ,I enjoyed reading this.your words were so right. honeytree.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Excellent Haiku about the terrible storms. You have all three components of good Haiku. You ha ve instruction, movement and surprise. The last line is especially good for the surprise. Very nice work. Ray.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
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Excellent Haiku about the terrible storms. You have all three components of good Haiku. You ha ve instruction, movement and surprise. The last line is especially good for the surprise. Very nice work. Ray.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
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thanks so much
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Earthwriter, this picture is amazing. I see these things and am awed at how destructive they are. This is a great haiku inspired by a tornado. I look forward to reading more of your work soon.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
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Earthwriter, this picture is amazing. I see these things and am awed at how destructive they are. This is a great haiku inspired by a tornado. I look forward to reading more of your work soon.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2008
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thanks so much