Charlie
A brief story about my brother-in-law.40 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
I liked your concluding question, with its wit. The story is told with humour and skill, and it maintained the interest through to the end. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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I liked your concluding question, with its wit. The story is told with humour and skill, and it maintained the interest through to the end. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
The challenge with this contest is reading and concluding, right or wrongly, if the post is fiction or not. ................... Sounds like this Charlie found himself and helped others. Nice story.
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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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The challenge with this contest is reading and concluding, right or wrongly, if the post is fiction or not. ................... Sounds like this Charlie found himself and helped others. Nice story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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I don't understand your comment about the challenge of the contest is reading and concluding fiction or not. There is nothing in the contest rules about it being fiction. I would not have entered if it was. I clearly posted it as non-fiction.
Comment from James Ott
A fine story. I like the twists here and there. Surprise is always good in a story. It's always best to tell story truthfully. The pace is good. It might have been a good move to describe him a bit more. I have a notion of what he may have looked like. Perhaps that is all one needs. The ending is perfect.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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A fine story. I like the twists here and there. Surprise is always good in a story. It's always best to tell story truthfully. The pace is good. It might have been a good move to describe him a bit more. I have a notion of what he may have looked like. Perhaps that is all one needs. The ending is perfect.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much, you make some good points, Thanks.
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
An interesting character sketch of a deserving character. It is amazing how many hard working,life handling, regular guy, heros there are in the world-- and gratifying to here when their work is acknowledged--even after it is ended.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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An interesting character sketch of a deserving character. It is amazing how many hard working,life handling, regular guy, heros there are in the world-- and gratifying to here when their work is acknowledged--even after it is ended.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your insights.
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:-)
Comment from Spitfire
I like your writing style. A long sentence or two. Then a short one that delivers a punch. A good pairing of his short comings (a high school dropout) with his success (earned his captain's license... The question at the end suffices to make the reader think!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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I like your writing style. A long sentence or two. Then a short one that delivers a punch. A good pairing of his short comings (a high school dropout) with his success (earned his captain's license... The question at the end suffices to make the reader think!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you for your very kind comments!
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent story. This Charlie sounds like a most interesting individual. It also seems that he did a great job of turning his life around. It's kind of sad that he died after finally getting back together. This will be a great entry for the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Excellent story. This Charlie sounds like a most interesting individual. It also seems that he did a great job of turning his life around. It's kind of sad that he died after finally getting back together. This will be a great entry for the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much for reading!
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
My brother joined the AA because he had problems with alcohol. I dearly loved him; he was a fanatic when it came to keeping things clean. So, I can clearly see your story blossoming as I was reading it. AA is a great association.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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My brother joined the AA because he had problems with alcohol. I dearly loved him; he was a fanatic when it came to keeping things clean. So, I can clearly see your story blossoming as I was reading it. AA is a great association.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much for reading.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Great story about your brother-in-law using the first words that were given for this contest. I am glad that he got deliverance from his addiction and turned his life around.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Great story about your brother-in-law using the first words that were given for this contest. I am glad that he got deliverance from his addiction and turned his life around.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you for reading!
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You are welcome
Comment from Annmuma
I like this story and I love the line: He died from a heart attack after working out in a gym. -- Just one of the reasons, I avoid unnecessary exercise! lol
The story fits together really well and the next to last paragraph sums up who Charlie was -- from family history as well as from his AA involvement. Excellent paragraoph.
The last paragraph adds a little humor to the whole story and leaves the reader with a smile. Excellent ending!
No real spag issues, but a couple of things I would change. Whether you do or not is a author's privilege.
Turns out it was right. - Suggest: Turns out it was true.
he helped start AA chapters - Suggest: he helped to establish AA chapters.
Great story and good contest entry.
ann
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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I like this story and I love the line: He died from a heart attack after working out in a gym. -- Just one of the reasons, I avoid unnecessary exercise! lol
The story fits together really well and the next to last paragraph sums up who Charlie was -- from family history as well as from his AA involvement. Excellent paragraoph.
The last paragraph adds a little humor to the whole story and leaves the reader with a smile. Excellent ending!
No real spag issues, but a couple of things I would change. Whether you do or not is a author's privilege.
Turns out it was right. - Suggest: Turns out it was true.
he helped start AA chapters - Suggest: he helped to establish AA chapters.
Great story and good contest entry.
ann
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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thank you
Comment from royowen
I gave up drinking some 38 years ago, the difference was God told me, I have never belonged to AA, but I was a smoker and a compulsive gambler also. But it makes a difference to one's family life, and I'm still alive, this is beautifully written my friend, good to hear. Well done, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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I gave up drinking some 38 years ago, the difference was God told me, I have never belonged to AA, but I was a smoker and a compulsive gambler also. But it makes a difference to one's family life, and I'm still alive, this is beautifully written my friend, good to hear. Well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Roy. You are very kind. Terry.
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Most welcome Terry