Seahorses and Mermaids
entry for contest36 total reviews
Comment from terry drake
5-7-5 syllable count verse format challenge successfully accomplished with your three line poem. Congratulations on the poem and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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5-7-5 syllable count verse format challenge successfully accomplished with your three line poem. Congratulations on the poem and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. Elaine
Comment from Jaq Cee
"Seahorses and Mermaids", what a great title. Loved the artwork which was perfect with your words. Great 5-7-5 entry. All the best in the contest. :) Jaq x
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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"Seahorses and Mermaids", what a great title. Loved the artwork which was perfect with your words. Great 5-7-5 entry. All the best in the contest. :) Jaq x
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. Elaine
Comment from cvcopac
I'm getting fat on your poetry today and 5/7/5s in general. Good word play on 'tails' I don't know enough about seahorses to know what dragon heart is, but thought that seahorses were double sexed like a worm. Lots to think about here, at least for me. Excellent and best of luck in the contest. cvc
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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I'm getting fat on your poetry today and 5/7/5s in general. Good word play on 'tails' I don't know enough about seahorses to know what dragon heart is, but thought that seahorses were double sexed like a worm. Lots to think about here, at least for me. Excellent and best of luck in the contest. cvc
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Yes, lots of 5-7-5 poems around lately. Seahorses are one of the few creatures that in which the male gives birth. Thanks for taking time to read and review and your positive comments. Elaine
Comment from RedVeganPoet
Interesting concept. Never thought of a sea horse and a mermaid finding romance. And is it through their tails that they make love? I like this, I like the feeling it invokes. Good 5/7/5 pattern. Well done, and good luck!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Interesting concept. Never thought of a sea horse and a mermaid finding romance. And is it through their tails that they make love? I like this, I like the feeling it invokes. Good 5/7/5 pattern. Well done, and good luck!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. Elaine
Comment from fairy77
Good luck in contest.I liked lady of the sea.It was very different topic but enjoyable.Lovely pic and I thought you summed it up well.Very good!beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Good luck in contest.I liked lady of the sea.It was very different topic but enjoyable.Lovely pic and I thought you summed it up well.Very good!beth fairy77.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. Elaine
Comment from adewpearl
stunning pairing of artwork and poem
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form
I adore seahorses
I love your use of personification
and the vivid scene you create :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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stunning pairing of artwork and poem
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form
I adore seahorses
I love your use of personification
and the vivid scene you create :-) Brooke
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I am honored by your review. Seahorses are such beautiful creatures. Thank you so much. Elaine
Comment from Christina 201
That is so sweet and what a beautiful picture. Good luck in the contest. You have captured my heart with your poem, every bit is lovely. "Tiny dragon heart.... tails entwined, all lovely. The pastels of the picture add to the softness of the word picture.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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That is so sweet and what a beautiful picture. Good luck in the contest. You have captured my heart with your poem, every bit is lovely. "Tiny dragon heart.... tails entwined, all lovely. The pastels of the picture add to the softness of the word picture.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I am honored by your review. Thank you. Elaine
Comment from Peter@Poole
The pretty illustration suggests that no mermaids are present, so I suggest removing 'mermaids' from the title of this poem. The satori line comments, correctly, on the shasei [picture] painted in the first two lines but I also suggest that you separate these two parts of the poem in order to draw the reader's attention to this feature of a senryu or haiku poem. I use a ~ symbol in my own 5-7-5s, which some readers have commented on favourably. It's up to you, Elaine.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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The pretty illustration suggests that no mermaids are present, so I suggest removing 'mermaids' from the title of this poem. The satori line comments, correctly, on the shasei [picture] painted in the first two lines but I also suggest that you separate these two parts of the poem in order to draw the reader's attention to this feature of a senryu or haiku poem. I use a ~ symbol in my own 5-7-5s, which some readers have commented on favourably. It's up to you, Elaine.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thanks for your suggestions. I will think them over. Elaine
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Maybe don't change this one, but perhaps let my remarks help with following poems.
Comment from Gert sherwood
so cute Mermaids love the idea of those tiny sea horses singing to mermaids.
the best to you in this contest
smiles to you.
Gert
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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so cute Mermaids love the idea of those tiny sea horses singing to mermaids.
the best to you in this contest
smiles to you.
Gert
Comment Written 17-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. Elaine
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Smiles
Gert
Comment from poetstar
What a sweet little poem. I just adore it. Those little tails entwine in love is so cute. Just a great 5 7 5, and I wish you very well in your contest. Your words are as oceanic as the picture. Love Vonnie
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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What a sweet little poem. I just adore it. Those little tails entwine in love is so cute. Just a great 5 7 5, and I wish you very well in your contest. Your words are as oceanic as the picture. Love Vonnie
Comment Written 16-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2012
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I appreciate your thoughtful words and encouragement for this poem. Thank you for taking time to read. Love seahorses and mermaids. Elaine
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I have a ring with the mermaid riding a sea horse. I should wear it when I read this poem.
Love Vonnie